Even behind his goofy grin, there's a tenseness in his shoulders, and Dani's silence in the endeavor is louder than Octavia's insistent questions and inquiries for details. Felix and Sparrow both try to ask for details as well, joking about whether or not they were Red or Blue, and the more they inquire, the more Dani seems to draw into herself.

"Hey," I interrupt, throwing a pillow at my sister as she opens her mouth to ask another question. She sputters, barely managing to keep a hold of her drink as she glares at me.

"What was that for?!"

"We’ve all got skeletons in our closets we aren’t proud of, yeah? There's no need to be pushy about something if they don't want to talk about it."

Octavia pouts, taking a drink from her cup. "Yeah, I guess you're right... Sorry..."

I glance at Dani and catch her eyeing me with an unreadable expression on her face, and already I can tell that her walls are back up. She declines to go this round and instead passes her turn to Octavia, who takes it without hesitation.

The game circulates for another hour or so, the 'never-have-I-ever's getting more and more bizarre the more everyone drinks. Sparrow switches between drinking and using points, and it's easy to see that while he's not nearly as gone as my sister or Josh, he's still got the buzzed glow, and his contribution to the game matches Josh's in terms of innuendoes and chaos-bringing. 

Dani eventually joins in with a few small contributions, though she never partakes in the drinking itself. Octavia, however, has had the most drinks out of everyone and sways on the arm of the couch, nearly falling several times as Sparrow busies himself with doodling on Felix's face as Felix dozes away on the couch, Josh snickering at the boys.

Once more, Octavia is up for her round, and judging from the sly look on her face, I can already tell I'm not going to enjoy it.

"Never have I ever done a strip tease," she drunkenly drawls.

When no one drinks, her smile widens. "Guess we'll be fixin' that today!" She starts for her shirt and I dive across the room to stop her from embarrassing herself further, and in the process, I knock over her drink and spill it on the table.

"Heeeyyy!" Octavia whines as I snap her arms to her side.

"We're not playing it with a twist, remember?" I remind her gently as she glares at me.

"You spilled my drink!"

"Are you gonna strip?"

"My driiiiiiink!"

"I'll get you another if you promise to keep your damn clothes on."

Her head rolls backward as she theatrically groans at me. "Fiiiiinnee!"

Slowly, I release her arms and make sure she remains seated on the arm of the couch while I grab the glass I spilled and wipe the dregs of the alcohol on the table. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, alright?"

Octavia giggles and winks at Dani, who hasn't given her a second glance besides making sure she remains seated where she is. As I walk past Dani to the kitchen, I stumble over the carpet and she reaches a hand out to steady me, catching my stomach and steadying me with her arm across my hips. My face flushes as I glance down at her concerned stormy eyes, and through my buzzed alcohol haze, I swear I hallucinate a blush on her face.

"Thanks," I mutter quickly, hoping it sounds casual as she moves her hand out of my way now that I'm standing steady.

"Need some help?" She asks, her voice low.

"Nah, it's okay," I smile, my face feeling hot. "I'm just gonna get her some water, she's a bit too far gone right now."

Dani watches as I disappear into the kitchen and I pretend that the heat in my face is just from the alcohol.

Yeah, it's definitely just the alcohol. The fact that these past several snowy weeks we've been sleeping in the living room in a big sleep pile where most of the time I find myself buried in Dani's side has absolutely nothing to do with the heat in my face. Having spent the past two or so nights at the cabin, half-dressed and in close quarters with her also has absolutely nothing to do with it. It's just the alcohol.

It has to be just the alcohol. It can't be anything but the alcohol.

It doesn't matter that I want nothing more than for there to be something between us besides stolen glances and small moments. I have a mission to accomplish, and there's no telling what's going to happen once it's done. There's no guarantee that any of us will even survive the ordeal.

But it's hard to deny the feeling of safety I get when I know she's near. Day by day, it gets harder and harder to imagine what the future will look like without her in it, and the more time I spend with her, the more normal I feel. The more normal I feel, however, the more guilty I feel for wanting there to be something. For me to be selfish and want something for myself, to want her for myself, feels like I'm shirking the duty given to me.

Is it possible for me to be selfish and complete this mission? Is it possible for me to have both? The thought warms me to my core, and the thought of Dani possibly feeling the same way makes my face flush once more, but I quickly shake the thought away.

It's just the alcohol.

But, maybe…

"Whoa, what the Hell, Octavia?!" Sparrow's voice rings from the living room and I groan, realizing I have left my drunk sister unattended for far too long. Quickly filling her cup with water, I head back to the living room.

"Octavia, whatever it is you're doing, it better be - what the hell?!" The scene before me sobers me instantly, hitting me in the chest like a high-speed freight train.

I've always known my sister to be reckless, ignorant, and bold, especially when she's had too much to drink. Since Cottonwood, she's made it well known that she's been head-hunting Dani's affection, and Dani had made it clear that she's no interest in my sister.

Logically, I know this.

However, seeing Octavia sitting there, sprawled out in Dani's lap with her shirt off, arms wrapped around Dani's neck, and her lips pressed passionately against Dani's, the physical snap in my chest is hard enough that I'm genuinely surprised there wasn't a sound to accompany it.

A humorless laugh escapes my mouth before I can stop it. Suppressing the urge to pitch the glass in my hand against a wall, I slam it on the dining room table a little too hard, snapping Octavia out of her flight of drunken passion, and Dani's head snaps up, her eyes wide and fearful.

"I'm going to bed." My voice wavers on the edge of would-be tears as I storm up the stairs to one of the clean bedrooms.

"Cass!" There's a loud thud and my sister exclaims in drunken pain as Dani clambers after me. "Cass, wait!" I slam and lock the door before she can reach me, but the doorknob jiggles frantically as she tries to follow me inside. "Cass, please, let me in!" Her voice is frantic and pleading, but I don't want to hear it right now. Not until I calm down.

"I'm tired, Dani," I mutter through the door, hot tears streaming down my face.