The icy water causes goosebumps on my skin, and I shiver, but a proper shower beats a sponge bath any day. Though it was only for a few minutes, it was the best of my time in the apocalypse. I quickly towel off, my hair freshly washed, my skin feeling foreign and clean and even incredibly dry. Luckily, Dani had left some scentless lotion in here, which I take full advantage of once I'm dry, moisturizing my hands, face, and arms. They say that you never appreciate what you have until it's gone, and considering I've spent the better part of four years giving myself quick sponge baths to keep up hygiene, this frigid shower is the height of luxury. 

I would have had more hot water for my shower had my sister not taken an hour before me this morning, but I'll take whatever I can get. I might as well use the fancy utilities the cabin has to offer until the Widows flatten the place, anyway. 

My sister's irritated voice rings from the other side of the bathroom door. "Hurry up, would you?!"

"Chill out, damn!" I bite back as I get dressed, running the towel through my dark hair again and noting how long it's starting to get. "Eugh, I'm gonna have to cut my hair again soon," I mutter. "Hopefully, I can find some decent scissors." 

Octavia awaits me outside the bathroom, her arms crossed and looking bored, while Felix finishes getting dressed and glares a bit at our sister. 

"Took ya long enough," Octavia says. 

"You're the one who took all the hot water for an hour-long shower this morning." 

"Oh, please, it was only thirty minutes!" 

Rolling my eyes, I bite my tongue, aware of the futility of arguing with a brick wall. The longer we stay in Cottonwood, the more snippy she gets, and I know she's upset because we'll be leaving tomorrow. On the other hand, Felix has been quieter than usual, offering little in terms of whether or not he would prefer to stay with the group. 

Now that I think about it, it would be a good idea to allow my siblings to stay with the Cottonwood survivors after fleeing the Widows in the woods. Josh and Dani are more than capable of protecting them from danger, and although I don't trust Leon as far as I can throw him, he has more experience shepherding survivors and establishing a haven than I do. Feasibly, I could leave my siblings in Cottonwood's care and finish the mission myself, then come back for them; that way, they would be in the least danger. 

The more I contemplate the idea, the more appealing it becomes. 

Especially if Octavia continues acting like a brat...

"Cass?" My brother's voice brings me back from my thoughts, and his concerned eyes bore into mine. "You okay?" 

"Yeah," I lie, offering a smile. "I'm just a little cold, that's all." 

My brother gives me a worried look I wave off as I finish tying my boots. 

"You have that look on your face," he presses. 

"What look?" 

"That look you get when you're contemplating something heavy." 

Octavia scoffs, shaking her head. "Oh please, Cassy's just got the case of Hero Syndrome; that's nothing new." 

I opt not to respond to her quip, rolling my eyes instead as I stand and stretch. "Why don't we meet the others at the gate for the funeral, huh? We can eat afterwards." 

Octavia glances at Felix, raising a brow, before the pair follow me out of the cabin and towards the gates, where the bulk of Cottonwood is gathered to depart for the burial site. Dani and Josh meet us there, dressed in their cleanest clothes, and Dani even brushed her hair for the occasion. 

"Hey," I greet as my siblings and I approach. "Hope we're not late." 

"Nah," Josh replies, "We'll be leaving in a bit once Ethan and his guys come by." 

The sound of his name puts me on edge. Suppressing a gulp, I nod, adjusting my bomber as I shift uncomfortably. "Oh, gotcha," I note, hoping I don't sound as awkward as I feel. "Is he, like, friends with Alison or something?" 

"Alison is his mother," Dani answers. "James was his brother."

"Ah." A wave of sympathy washes over me as the pieces of information fall into place, and guilt creeps in like an unwelcome guest.

"Wow, Dani," Octavia observes, interrupting my thoughts. "You look great."

Dani appears taken aback by the sudden change in topic, blinking as her shoulders tense. "Uh, thanks? You look nice, too."

My sister smiles at the compliment, seemingly unfazed by Dani's previous dismissive behavior, and takes it as an opportunity to continue the conversation.

Unsure entirely of what to say to make the situation less awkward, I let the conversation die and glance around to see who all had gathered to attend the funeral Alison arranged. 

Most campers gathered at the gates are primarily civilians, with a handful of guards and scouts and a couple of kids who stick close to their parents and families. Alison is talking with a group of guards at the gates with Miles, the young boy who was with her in Leon's office the other day, not far behind her. He perks up when he notices me watching him, and I offer a small smile and wave, to which he shies away, grabbing Alison's belt. Alison glances down at her grandson, giving his head a reassuring pat before she looks up to see me watching them. 

Alison straightens up with a tired smile and excuses herself from the guards, bringing Miles with her to speak with us. "There you are," she greets. "I'm glad you kids were able to make it." 

"Hey, Alison," Dani greets, opening her arms to offer a hug that the older woman gladly accepts. "Sorry, we couldn't help you plan the funeral." 

"Oh, don't worry about that," Alison sighs, stepping back and resting her hand on Miles's shoulder. "I know Leon runs you two ragged every chance he gets. I hope you've been resting, all things considered." 

Dani offers a tired smile and a shrug. "I'll rest when everyone is safe," Dani dismisses. 

"You poor thing," Alison breathes sympathetically. "I'll talk to Leon next chance I get if it means you can come with us instead of running interference tomorrow." 

Josh chuckles. "Good luck. I think Leon's made up his mind about who goes on the mission tomorrow." 

With a sour expression, Alison shakes her head disapprovingly. "I don't like that he has you kids doing these dangerous missions. That's something that should be left to us old folks."

Alison surprises me with her kindness as she talks to my siblings and me while Dani crouches to talk with Miles. Dani looks exhausted as she speaks softly with the young boy, revealing a softer side of her that I never knew existed. Meanwhile, Alison moves us away from Dani and Josh to speak privately.

"I just wanted to thank you, kids," Alison says, placing her hand on my shoulder and looking across the three of us. "I know you've only just arrived, but the fact that you risked your lives for us speaks volumes about your integrity. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been able to lay my son to rest."

Unsure how to accept her high praise, I shrug, feeling my face redden. "It wasn't a problem," I dismiss. "We were here anyway and only did what was necessary." 

"You've done more than was necessary, Cassandra," Alison said. She looks back at Dani and Josh, who had managed to engage Miles enough to make him smile. "Those two are good kids, but unfortunately, Leon has placed a heavy burden on their shoulders, and I fear they have become just a couple of soldiers willing to sacrifice their lives whenever they are asked to." She looked at me with pleading and desperate eyes, her grip on my shoulder tightening. "I don't know how long you three plan to stay with us, but please, don't let them throw their lives away. They need us just as much as we need them."

All I can do is nod with the seriousness to match Alison's, feeling more conflicted about our situation. Alison is a sweet and caring woman, and she's close with Dani and Josh, though I'm not so sure that I'm the right person to be coming to with such a demand. I hardly know them, and my reasons for staying for as long as we have are selfish, though a part of me wants to fulfill Alison's wish. Though stern and paranoid, the people of Cottonwood are a good group to be with, regardless of how I feel about Leon. 

Perhaps it would be a good idea to help them find a safe place to settle and leave my siblings with them while I finish Mom's delivery. That way, they would be with people they feel somewhat secure with, and I could travel faster alone. Hell, if the weather keeps it steady and I find a map, I could finish the delivery in less than a week and bring Mom to Felix and Octavia, assuming she's still alive. I trust that Alison could help keep Felix and Octavia out of trouble for that long. 

A sharp elbow jabs me in the side, and I glare at my sister, who is gesturing to Alison with an irritated look. 

"Of course," I sputter. "I'll at least ensure Dani doesn't do anything stupid tomorrow." 

Alison smiles sincerely at that, letting out a breath as another familiar face comes bounding up beside her. 

"Hey, guys!" Sparrow greets, his presence a welcome distraction from the heavy conversation. "I'm glad you could make it. We'll be heading out soon; Ethan is on his way from a meeting with Leon." 

"Is Leon going to be joining us?" I ask. 

"Nah," Sparrow answers, looking a little troubled. "When I checked on them and asked, he said he had 'important things to do' before tomorrow's mission." 

Alison appears almost as relieved as me to know that Leon won't be attending the funeral, and I can understand why. The elderly lady struggled to find time to organize the whole event, and I had to convince Leon to let it happen. Fortunately, even with Ethan present, the funeral goes off without a hitch. Over a dozen of the lost campers, including Ethan's brother, were buried not far from Cottonwood's walls. My siblings and I stick close with one another, mainly with Josh, as Dani and Sparrow make the rounds talking with those who lost someone. 

"Thank you for talking to Leon about this," Josh says as he stands with my siblings and me off to the edge of the burial site. "I know it's not the happiest time, but I'm glad everyone will get to say their proper goodbye before we leave." 

"Of course," I reply, watching Sparrow and Dani talk with Ethan, Alison, and Miles. "If you don't mind my asking, how close are Dani and Sparrow with Ethan's family? By how he acted when we first got here, Ethan didn't act like you guys were really on friendly terms."

"I don't know much about Sparrow and Ethan," Josh confesses. "But we were pretty close with Alison, Miles, and James before establishing Cottonwood." 

"At the refugee center?" I ask. 

"Yeah," Josh says, a faraway look on his face. "The... refugee center wasn't a good place to keep a kid safe. Tensions were high then, and the leadership was questionable at best."

"Is that why you left?" 

"That, and because it was overrun," Josh sighs. "After we made Cottonwood a haven, Dani and I often watched over Miles while James went on patrols and Alison did gate duty. Ethan was pretty happy we kept his family safe when he and his group met us here." 

Octavia sighs, watching Dani and Sparrow. "It must have been tough to move all these people safely." 

"It was," Josh says, shrugging. "Moving that many people and ensuring everyone ate and was healthy wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Much like how your sister protects you, and Felix, Dani, and I did the same with Cottonwood." 

Octavia glances my way, a guilty look on her face, before she looks downcast. I nudge her with my elbow, and she nudges me back, resting her head on my shoulder. 

"And now you'll have to do it all over again, thanks to us," I sigh, bumping my sister's head with my own. 

Josh shakes his head. "It's not your fault, Cass," Josh assures. "The Widows would have found us sooner or later. Thinking we were in the clear after that debacle at the center was our mistake." 

"Why do the Widows want this camp so bad?" Felix asks. "During the Widow attack, they acted like they were looking for people but were killing the guards indiscriminately." 

Josh rubs the back of his neck, shrugging. "I have no idea," he says. "It could be that they found out who our leader is and wanted Leon as a means of bargaining supplies." 

I hum a noncommittal tune, biting my tongue unconvinced. It makes sense in a way that it connects too easily, especially after discovering that the Widow I had questioned the day before not only knew Leon but was also scared of him. A haunting feeling grows in my chest as I watch Dani and Sparrow mill about with the campers, the memory of Leon killing the Widow before he could finish his sentence reverberating in the back of my mind. Does Leon have a connection with the Widows somehow? If he does, it would be a terrible idea to leave my siblings with Cottonwood once we leave camp, but I can't keep risking their lives like this. 

The feeling of uncertainty never washes away, even as the funeral ends and the rest of the day is spent preparing. Ethan and his buddy Jones spend quite a lot of time with Alison at the burial site long after the funeral, and Sparrow hangs around with the grumpy older man once they're back in camp, packing up the escape vehicles, though I never see Leon until dinner. 

"Cassy?" Felix elbows me, breaking me from my thoughts. "You alright over there?" 

I blink, taking in the faces of my siblings and the worried looks from our new 'friends' as they catch me glaring at Leon. Perhaps my paranoia is getting the better of me, though my instincts have yet to steer me wrong. The longer we stay in camp, the more my instincts tell me to run. 

"Yeah," I lie, forcing a smile. "I'm just worrying over tomorrow's mission." 

Sparrow offers a sympathetic smile. "There's nothing to worry about, Cassy, as long as we can outrun the Ferals, those Widows won't know what hit 'em!" 

I wish I could share in his optimism, though instead of worrying them further, I simply nod and continue eating dinner.