If Danny had thought Jake was acting weird before, it was nothing compared to what came next.

Because suddenly—out of nowhere—Jake had a girlfriend.

A real, actual, living, breathing girlfriend.

And not just any girlfriend.

Brittany Carter.

The most aggressively blonde, aggressively peppy, aggressively ‘I-was-a-cheerleader-in-high-school’ girl Danny had ever met in his entire life.

And Danny?

Danny was so. Fucking. Done.

It started at lunch, a mere twenty-four hours after the Hoodie Incident™.

Danny had just sat down at their usual table, trying to focus on anything other than Jake’s jealousy meltdown from the day before, when suddenly—

“Hey, guys!”

A high-pitched voice interrupted his thoughts, and before he could even process it, Brittany Carter had plopped down next to Jake and wrapped both arms around his bicep like a fucking koala.

Danny blinked.

Jake just grinned, as if this was totally normal behavior.

Sophie, who had been mid-sip of her coffee, paused.

Leo, sitting across from them, raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued.

And Danny?

Danny just stared.

“Uh,” Sophie said after a long, awkward silence. “Hi?”

Brittany beamed. “Hi! Sorry, I totally just invited myself over, but Jake said he wanted me to meet you guys!”

Danny’s brain short-circuited.

Jake?

Jake had said what?

Danny turned his gaze slowly toward his best friend, who was suddenly very interested in his sandwich.

Danny narrowed his eyes.

Oh. Oh, this motherfucker.

Sophie, always one to sense drama from miles away, gave Brittany a polite smile. “So… you two are…?”

Jake perked up.

“Oh, yeah,” he said, in the most casual, exaggeratedly smug tone Danny had ever heard. “Brittany’s my girlfriend.”

Danny nearly choked on air.

Leo straight-up snorted.

Sophie, to her credit, managed to keep a straight face. “Oh?”

Jake nodded enthusiastically, wrapping an arm around Brittany’s shoulders. “Yeah. It’s, like, really serious.”

Danny’s soul left his body.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

What was happening? What was this?

Jake had never even mentioned Brittany before today.

Jake had never had a serious girlfriend.

Jake, who literally just yesterday was acting like a possessive jealous mess, was now suddenly in a ‘serious’ relationship?

With a girl he had never once spoken about?

Oh. Oh, hell no.

This was not normal.

This was not real.

This was one hundred percent a panic move.

And the worst part?

Jake was acting like it wasn’t obvious.

Danny wanted to scream.

Jake spent the next few days making a big deal about his new ‘relationship.’

He brought Brittany everywhere.

He held her hand constantly.

He started posting her on his Instagram story with captions like:

Best girlfriend ever ❤️

(Danny dry-heaved.)

The worst part?

Brittany was actually really nice.

Which somehow made everything infinitely worse.

Because Danny wanted to hate her. He wanted to roll his eyes at everything she did and find some reason to be annoyed.

But instead, she was… well. Really fucking pleasant.

She asked about Danny’s writing. She complimented Sophie’s earrings. She even laughed at Leo’s terrible jokes.

And all of that?

Would have been fine.

If not for the fact that Danny could literally see the bullshit oozing out of Jake.

Because Jake?

Jake was trying so hard to act normal, it was painful to watch.

Like when Brittany kissed him on the cheek at lunch, and Jake visibly flinched.

Or when she linked their arms while they were walking, and Jake looked like he didn’t know what to do with his hands.

Or when she called him “babe” for the first time, and Jake’s entire soul left his body.

Danny had to clench his fists to stop himself from laughing.

Before Brittany, Jake had never been the PDA type.

Sure, he was annoyingly affectionate with Danny, but that was different. That was just Jake being Jake.

But with Brittany?

He was trying so hard to prove something that it was physically painful to watch.

Like, dude.

Who are you fooling?

Certainly not Danny.

And definitely not Sophie.

Sophie, who had been watching this entire charade with pure, undiluted amusement.

“So,” she said one afternoon, as they all sat in the quad together, watching Jake and Brittany be gross in public. “How long do we think this lasts?”

Leo hummed, considering. “I give it two weeks.”

Danny crossed his arms. “A week and a half, tops.”

Sophie smirked. “I say he caves by next Friday.”

They clinked their iced coffees together in agreement.

Jake had no idea what was coming for him.

It had been five days since Jake had jumped headfirst into his “serious relationship.”

And Danny?

Danny had had enough.

Because today?

Today, Jake had pushed it too far.

Danny walked into their apartment only to find Jake sitting on the couch… wearing Danny’s hoodie.

While FaceTiming Brittany.

Danny stopped in his tracks.

Jake looked up.

Danny pointed. “Are you fucking serious?”

Jake blinked. “What?”

Danny gestured wildly. “You’re stealing my hoodie while talking to your girlfriend?”

Jake, the absolute audacity-having menace, had the nerve to smirk.

“Oh,” he said, casually tugging on the sleeve. “This old thing?”

Danny wanted to throw something.

Instead, he stormed forward and yanked the hood over Jake’s face.

“You are the worst,” Danny muttered.

Jake just laughed.

And that’s when Danny knew.

This wasn’t real.

Jake didn’t care about Brittany.

Jake was doing this because of him.

And the second Danny proved it?

This whole thing would come crashing down.

Which meant one thing.

The game was officially on.