There were exactly three universal truths in Danny Russo’s life.

College was a never-ending cycle of sleep deprivation, bad coffee, and the constant fear of failing at adulthood.

Jake Carter, his best friend and roommate, was an actual menace who operated with no regard for personal space or belongings.

And most importantly—their friendship was absolutely, undeniably, not normal.

Danny had spent years convincing himself otherwise. Years of pretending that the casual touches, the lingering looks, the stupid intimacy of it all was just how they were as best friends.

But sometimes, he felt like the only sane person in a world where everyone else refused to acknowledge the very obvious facts.

Like, for example, the fact that Jake was currently making himself at home in Danny’s bed.

At eight in the morning.

“Dude,” Danny groaned, pushing at the very warm, very heavy weight currently draped over him. “Why are you like this?”

Jake grunted but didn’t move.

Danny scowled and tried to shift out from under him, but Jake had apparently decided that Danny’s torso was the best pillow available, and he was currently half-sprawled over him, one arm thrown lazily across Danny’s stomach, face pressed against his shoulder.

It was deeply unfair that Jake ran so warm.

Danny could feel the heat radiating through his t-shirt, could hear the slow, even sound of his not-at-all-stressed breathing, while Danny himself was one second away from cardiac arrest.

He tried to ignore the way his brain immediately cataloged every stupid detail. The weight of Jake’s arm. The way-too-soft hair tickling Danny’s chin. The fact that Jake was stealing his body heat like an absolute gremlin.

Danny let out a long, slow breath.

“Jake.”

Nothing.

He poked at Jake’s shoulder. “Jake.”

Grumble. Shift. Still no movement.

Danny knew what needed to be done. He had plenty of options.

A normal person would shove their friend off the bed.

A better person would get up and start their day like a functional human being.

Instead, Danny did the worst possible thing.

He let him stay.

Danny squeezed his eyes shut and resigned himself to ten more minutes of this absolute torture.

Ten minutes turned into thirty.

By the time Jake finally blinked awake, Danny had completely given up on having a normal start to his day.

Jake yawned—fully yawned—without moving at all, then blinked blearily up at him.

Danny raised an eyebrow. “Are you comfortable?”

Jake made a soft, sleepy noise in the back of his throat. “Mmm. Yeah.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “That wasn’t an invitation to stay, dumbass.”

Jake smirked, finally lifting his arm and stretching. “Well, if you didn’t want me here, maybe you should have kicked me out.”

Danny would have, except—well.

Danny sighed, shoving him off anyway. “You’re the worst.”

Jake grinned, looking obnoxiously well-rested. “And yet, you still love me.”

Danny choked.

Jake had no idea.

None.

Danny shoved a pillow at his face. “Get out of my bed, heathen.”

Jake just laughed and rolled off the mattress.

Welcome to the chaos.

Danny was late for class.

Not just kind of late, but the sprint-across-campus-and-hope-for-a-miracle kind of late.

“Jake, where’s my hoodie?” Danny shouted, shoving through his already-messy closet.

From the kitchen, Jake called back, way too casual. “Which one?”

“The black one—” Danny froze. Then narrowed his eyes. “Are you wearing it?”

A beat of silence.

Then: “...No?”

Danny stomped out of his room and immediately spotted Jake—leaning against the counter, sipping his coffee, wearing Danny’s favorite hoodie.

Danny pointed. “That’s literally it!”

Jake glanced down, completely unbothered. “Oh. Huh.”

“Jake.”

Jake gave him a slow, infuriatingly smug grin. “You don’t need all these hoodies, man.”

“It’s mine.”

Jake just shrugged, completely unrepentant. “What’s yours is mine.”

Danny was going to lose his mind.

“This is the fifth one.”

Jake had the audacity to stretch in Danny’s hoodie. “I like this one.”

Danny groaned. “Oh my god, you have your own!”

Jake took another sip of coffee, unbothered. “Yeah, but yours are better.”

Danny was going to die.

Not today, not tomorrow, but one day, Jake was going to kill him with this nonsense.

Instead of arguing, Danny just squinted at him. “You know what? Fine. Keep it. I don’t even care.”

Jake looked way too satisfied about his tiny victory. “Thanks, man. You’re the best.”

Danny exhaled slowly, gathering what little sanity he had left.

“I have class,” he muttered, heading toward the door.

“Wait—” Jake called after him.

Danny turned just in time to catch something flying at his face.

Instinct took over. He caught it just before impact.

A granola bar.

Danny blinked.

Jake gave him a casual salute. “Breakfast. So you don’t starve and die.”

Danny stared at the granola bar.

Then back at Jake.

Then back at the stupidly smug, hoodie-stealing menace standing in his kitchen.

God help him.

He was so painfully in love with him.

Danny was just about to fall asleep when he heard it.

A light knock on his bedroom door.

He barely had time to respond before Jake opened it anyway.

Danny groaned. “Dude, seriously?”

Jake was already walking in like he owned the place. “What are you watching?”

Danny gestured toward his laptop. “Literally nothing. I was about to sleep.”

Jake plopped down right next to him, stealing half the blanket. “Cool, cool. You mind if I hang out?”

Danny did mind.

He minded a lot.

But did he say that?

No. Because he was weak.

And because Jake was already settling in like this was normal.

Danny sighed. “Do I have a choice?”

Jake grinned. “Not really.”

Danny rolled his eyes.

Jake stole more of the blanket.

Danny let him.

And that, right there, was the problem.

Because in what universe was this a normal friendship?

Who did this? Who casually slept in their best friend’s bed? Who stole their hoodies? Who invited themselves to late-night movie sessions like it was no big deal?

Danny swallowed hard, forcing himself to focus on the laptop screen.

Jake was just his best friend.

And Danny?

He was just an idiot.

An idiot who was very much not moving on.

Because if this was normal, then Danny was completely screwed.