I haven’t slept at all last night. I never sleep when I get this dream-it makes my heart throb, and even though I try and close my eyes, it keeps me awake. It has been doing that every time. I don’t know why I’ve had this dream a lot these days. Perhaps I’ve been thinking about Jules. 

I sit up on my bed, rubbing my eyes as I glance at my alarm clock. Seven in the morning. I’m a little early, and I can’t go downstairs. My dad is sleeping, and my grandparents are as well, snoring loudly. I don’t mind it though. I love them deeply; I can’t be mad at them for disturbing. 

I glance at myself in the mirror, noticing how messy my hair is. I have black circles around the eyes, but the emerald color is quite visible again. Thick lashes cover my eyelids, and after a second glance, I realize how round my face is. I’ve never had an opinion about myself-I never found myself ugly nor beautiful-but I must admit I’m not so bad. 

My appearance has changed sensibly since last year. My traits and curves became more defined, making me look slightly older. Is that a good thing? I suppose. As long as I don’t look too old. Time passes faster than I thought, and so I stand up from my bed. 

Oh damn, my head is spinning badly. I hold my head with my arms, the corner of my lips twitching into a grimace as I keep my balance. What’s wrong with me? I ponder as I walk to my closet and pull it open, rummaging through my clothes. Gosh, I always hated school uniforms. Those skirts are way too short-it's as if they wanted the boys to look. 

I grab my brush and move it along my wavy hair, easily breaking the knots. It was always like that, I’m only glad it’s not too complicated-it doesn’t take much time, which is quite useful if I must prepare for a friend supper or something. 

I rarely feel beautiful though. My hair isn’t my favorite feature, but it wraps the shape of my face perfectly. My emerald eyes are my most recognizable feature, and surely the only feature that I am never insecure about. 

Though I don’t know why I’ve always been insecure. Maybe because I didn’t have enough love with the absence of a mother, and so I always overthought it. I never had many friends except Avery, and so I always thought it was because I wasn’t interesting. 

However, it might’ve been just me as well. Avery had been my friend since primary school, so if she didn’t find me interesting, she would’ve left me already, right? I’m unsure. I do trust her more than I trust Jules though. 

My thoughts keep drifting back and forth, another useless way for me to stop the day. I shut my eyes and get out of my room, my feet leading me outside. I don’t know why-I can’t help myself. I walk over and lean against the balcony, the wind making my hair flow. It’s early in the morning; birds are chirping but I don’t mind them singing. 

I then receive a message from Avery, my phone buzzing in my pocket. I take it and read it: 

“You up?” 

“Ofc, can’t sleep.” 

“You never do ngl...Wyd? 

“I’m preparing for school, I’m a lil early.” 

“Aight, ttyl.” 

Avery was always like that- respecting my schedules and being respectful. I shut my phone and return inside, closing the door as I prepare myself a bowl of Fruit Loops. I often get called childish for eating those colored circles, I don’t mind as long as I’m eating something. It’s tasty anyway. 

My father goes downstairs, his hair in a mess as he yawns. I stuff the fork filled with cereal in my mouth, waving at him as he prepares himself a cup of coffee. The morning, I don’t speak a lot, since my throat is dry. 

I smile slightly and finish my breakfast, quickly heading upstairs for my routine. Hopefully, nothing bad will happen at school today. We’re quite the oldest of everyone else, in secondary five... 

*** 

“Nora! You’re here! I thought you were going to sleep in!” Teases Charlie, her blonde hair in a low ponytail as she hugs me tightly. 

“Stop it” I retort, faking my anger, “You know I never sleep.” 

The girls barge in, and we all greet each other, happy to see each other after the summer. Although we saw each other a few times, Addison, Grace, and Charlie went to Mexico for a month, and so we didn’t see them. For some of them, it might be the last time we’ll meet again, this school year. But I prefer not thinking about it. 

We all start talking at the same time, some of us beginning to head towards our classrooms. As I pick up my English manual, I feel arms wrap around my waist from behind, hands covering my eyes. I chuckle and stop doing what I was doing, my expression lightening. 

“Guess who...” Says a masculine voice behind me 

“Jules...” I declare, then he pulls away and shifts to kiss my cheek 

“Okay, that’s enough, lovebirds, we’ll be late for class...” Evan speaks out, rolling his eyes as he grabs his friend’s shoulder, pulling him away from me. 

“Evan...” He whines as he walks off, stumbling slightly. 

The girls surround me as we walk to class, and I adjust my backpack over my shoulder. My first class is Spanish. For some reason, I find the language rather interesting, which its similarities with French. I sit at my seat and pull out my manual, looking forward. In front of us, a tall woman stares down at us, with jet black hair, sharp eyes, and her Greek nose seemingly judging us. I look down at my schedule- Mrs. Cavendish, Beatrice Cavendish. 

“Very well, students. Did any of you learn Spanish last year as well? I order you to raise your hand if you did, dear.” Beatrice has a strong British accent, and eyes us up and down as if we were stubborn little children. 

We all raise our hands. We had learned a few words last year, yet there weren’t any exams considering how it wasn’t a main class. I don’t know why, though. 

“I must say I am incredibly surprised and glad to hear that, kids. Now, I want to verify if you have kept the same knowledge than you did before this summer- Even though you were too busy chilling in your houses and pretending to have a life when you’re playing video games.” 

“Stacey! How do you say, “I come from the United States, and I am starting a new year.”?” 

Stacey hesitates, caught off guard. She thinks for a while, some of her friends mouth the answers to her but she’s too stressed. And so, she says whatever crosses her mind: 

“Me gustan los gatos, tengo un gato que se llama Mushroom!” 

(I love cats, I have a cat named Mushroom!) 

The Spanish teacher stares at her intently, and she shakes her head vigorously, visibly infuriated to see her joke around like that. I stop a smile from creeping up my lips, and then I meet Stacey’s gaze. Does she really have a cat named Mushroom? That’s a goofy name for a cat, but it’s creative. 

“No, it’s: Vengo de Estados Unidos y estoy empezando un nuevo año. Good for you that you have a cat named Mushroom, but I don’t think that’s what you wanted to say.” 

“Such an idiot...” Stephany snorts in the back, gossiping around with her friends. 

My heart throbs and I feel my blood boiling. Oh no, not her. I forgot her this summer, as well as her and the main bitch. And Riley. But Ann-Marie's clearly the worst. However, I prefer brushing it off, staring at the tall teacher as she insults her brutally for saying this.  

*** 

I love the math teacher. I love how she managed to get her job, too. She teaches us difficult stuff, step by step, alright. Though she starts singing at random times, she’s quite helpful now. (If you want to pass a class doing absolutely nothing, naturaly.) 

I swear this girl spent thirty minutes singing about how beautiful and useful papers were to note down our information, and that computers were useless. Nobody agreed, and I wish I could’ve pressed the button “skip.” But I’m not complaining. I had a good rest. 

Okay, okay, I’m being mean. So what? This woman helps us pass the time. Some people were snoring. She didn’t mind it at all. Even though she said focusing was the best thing a human could do. The fact that I remember some of the things she said means I’m not completely deranged and that I did listen. 

Finally, the bell rings. Thank God. In a way that we can learn new things, of course. Not that she’s boring, I enjoy learning new things-this is a lie. 

“Why are you running, Jules?” Elijah asks me, not trying to stop me though. He just follows along, as well as Evan. 

“Let me guess, the girls?” Evan insists, tugging on my shirt as I head nowhere. 

“No, he’s going towards Nora, surely.” Elijah teases. 

I’m not listening to them; I just keep walking. I hate lying to others, so I remain silent. They guessed already. After a while I reach the Spanish class, seeing my ex leave the room. Nothing interesting there. Then, I realize that Ann-Marie is pulling someone over with the wrist. Nora. 

They stand in front of each other, and they’re glaring at each other. Hard. Nora seems furious, yet she lifts her chin and tries to act like she’s fine. She isn’t, though. I just stand there watching, knowing it isn’t the right moment. The boys stand next to me as well. 

With the way they’re looking at each other, I know that blondie has something in mind., Why did I even bother going out with her at the first place anyway? I feel like this girl is going to do bad to Nora. She’ll make her mad, and I’m sure she’ll use me as an excuse. 

Lost in thought, I don't realize Ann-Marie looking at me. Our eyes meet, and she smirks widely. Nora doesn’t even notice.