Chapter 7 - Ashen Pages

(1st Saga - Greater Magius, The Balance | Synoria Outlook Defense Arc)

For the first civilization I encountered to have this same appearance… It felt like some kind of sick joke from the universe itself. Regardless, the only course of action was now to follow the World Zero System’s new ‘directive’. 

It had only been a few seconds, but Yukiko had already made her way down the hill and was nearing the rows of flames. 

Tainted corrupted beasts of various shapes and sizes instantly shifted their focus to her rapidly approaching and growing presence. Blinded by rage, it seemed she wasn’t even aware of them.

I began running after her. If she kept going in this state of pure, unbridled hatred, she would undoubtedly fall victim to the numerous enemies that became nothing more than blurred specks in her vision. 

“Aeolus! Can you hear me? I could use some of your speed enhancement right now!”

As expected, there was no response. However, an additional message had appeared in place of one.

[ Divine Blessings are currently unavailable ]

There must’ve been some distinct separation between the gods and World Zero. Previously, I would've at least been able to check the cooldowns of the abilities I had obtained from Aeolus and Ares, but now, there was no such possibility. This battle would be fought purely on my own capabilities. 

With more effort than usual, I channeled my aura into my legs and layered coils of mana from weaving. Once again, there were no messages from the system, which should’ve at least stated that I had activated those abilities. 

“Yukiko!”

I called out her name multiple times as the both of us continued running, her being still considerably ahead of me.

Each attempt to catch her attention only seemed to make her hesitate slightly before moving forwards with even greater conviction, never once looking back.

Now that I thought about it, how exactly was I moving so much slower than her? I had combined both my aura and weaving, which used to be more than enough to overwhelm my opponents, yet now, these abilities felt lacking.

The system. That must’ve been it. The gods’ Manaflow System was likely responsible for my enhanced state, as at least two of them seemed to have favored me. I recalled how I felt in previous battles. Right… In those battles, activating my abilities was simple, only requiring my will through the system for the abilities to operate in perfect condition. It was more that the system was fighting for me.

Even during the fight with the titan, was my ‘realization’ of the nature of mana natural? Did any of my progression so far come from myself? Or was it all designed to appear as if I was improving by my own skill when it really came down to the system’s enhancements?

The ‘Adaptability’ trait… That was likely its purpose. And now, without any aid from the gods’ system, I felt as if I were learning how to fight for the first time all over again.

Three corrupted beasts had approached Yukiko, standing between her and the main gate that led into town. 

“Yukiko, wait!”

She gave no response and continued moving forwards. 

I was powerless in this situation.

The beasts reared their awkward proportions and prepared to slam their massive arms down over her.

Aura Release

I heard her voice as if it were speaking directly into my mind. Of course, all techniques and abilities had names, but their announcement had usually come through the system. Without the system, was it now my own senses that allowed me to hear this?

A flood of mana emanated from her body, creating a spherical field tinted in pure white with her as its center. There was something different about her aura this time. A sense of conviction, a heightened purity, an unwavering resolve, all of which had felt much dimmer in every previous encounter. 

The beasts looked as if they were moving in slow motion. But, no, it was only momentary. Her abilities weren’t as effective on creatures of corrupted energy.

Yukiko capitalized on the opening, slipping between their hulking figures and through the gate. 

At the same time, I was slowly getting more and more used to channeling my abilities without the system. Regardless of whether or not I had been the one to initiate my abilities in the past, my body was nonetheless their medium for playing out. In other words, regardless of how I obtained those abilities, my body still remembered the feeling of actually using them. The main issue now was how I’d go about recreating that feeling.

As I passed through the gate, I caught sight of the internal state of Synoria Outlook. Most of the fire I’d seen before had actually come from the burning of the fence-like walls that surrounded the town’s borders, with a few of the outermost buildings crumbling down to ashes. 

Other than that, the majority of the town in the present moment was doing fine- or as fine as they could be doing while still under attack. Brigades of civilians were doing their best to prevent fire from spreading further inwards.

I had finally caught up to Yukiko.

“Hold on! We can’t just rush in-”

I tried to grab ahold of her arm, but she resentfully shook me away.

“And why not?”

Her tone was foreign, as if I were speaking to a completely different person.

“Haven’t you always been a confident expert in combat? Someone who could formulate strategies mid-battle? People are dying as we speak, so why are you, someone with the traits and powers capable of making a hero, suddenly so fearful?”

Afraid…? I was the one who was afraid? Not the one with the panic-stricken face?

“You were slow to leave the wagon, hesitant to keep up while these people were fighting for their lives. Hell, we’re wasting time right here and now!”

She turned to leave again. Where she planned to go, I had no idea. 

“If you’d just listen for a moment-”

“Listen?! Do we look like we can just stop and listen?!”

She was shouting at the ground with her back towards me, standing still but growing ever more distant.

“Do you know what it feels like?! What it feels like to watch everything y-you…”

She stuttered and trailed off. I already understood what she was going to say next, and she knew that she couldn’t undo that realization.

She slowly turned around to face me, eyes faintly glistening with tears, her expression ridden with guilt.

***

It was another ‘out of body’ moment, standing in that dark empty space. Around me, brief glimpses of the life I’ve cherished illuminated that void with warm colors for fleeting seconds.

I watched the scene of my first experience with mana from a distance, in which I had accidentally copied my brother’s attribute and headbutted my dad with a forehead as strong as steel.

I watched the scene of the first Event I had ever fought, my parents waiting in the brush in anxious anticipation for anything to go wrong for them to leap in.

I replayed the scene of my initiation to the village sentry, the fireworks bursting in the sky, the cheerful laughter, all of it. The scene I once dreamed so high, had dove so deep into fantasy to protect. 

All of those dreams were fading, crumbling before my eyes.

A final scene played out before me. I watched the house I had grown up in, the house I had failed in, the house I had succeeded in, slowly being swallowed by flames. The ashy scent, the buckling of wood, all of it. I felt the sensations as if I were back in that cursed body at that very moment.

Why… why was I being reminded of all this now…? I could run away in the darkness, but I’d never forget that scene. I could reach out towards that house, but I’d never save what was lost that day. Even still, I felt the urge to just lift one arm towards those memories, yet I stopped myself. I’d only get burned trying to reach them now.

I felt it again. That dull, empty sense of clarity. The feeling of being ‘myself’ even tho I’d just been the same old me-

A stray thought interrupted my stream of consciousness.

Have I been the same? Just what has my goal been these past two days? 

What was there really left to save..?

Why was I still roleplaying the hero?

The passing memories suddenly grew distant, as if reality itself was trying to pull me back to the real world. My physical sensations were returning. I could feel the solid ground beneath my feet, and the burning house began to blur and overlap with the actual chaos surrounding me.

Right. These people’s houses, their town, their memories were all burning down before my eyes. Even knowing that, I still wanted to stay with my own fleeting memories for just a few moments longer. 

The empty void shook. I could now see a wisp of light unlike the previous memories, hovering off in the distance. This one was of a light blue tint, rather than the oranges and yellows of the others. I took a few steps towards this light.

As I grew closer, it took on the form of someone I couldn’t say I knew all that well. No, I couldn’t really say I truly knew her at all. Only, she looked much younger than the girl that previously stood before me.

I was now within a few paces of the pale light, now fully in the shape of a young girl, passively ebbing in the air as if waiting for me. The figure turned around and took a brief look at me before being blown away, the light dispersing like snowflakes in the wind.

The rush of light encircled me and obscured my vision, startling me as I bewilderedly looked around. Just as suddenly as it began, the whirlwind ceased, revealing new surroundings within my own mind. 

I wasn’t watching a memory, no, this was a full blown scene I was standing right in the middle of. The setting appeared more tangible, as if reliving an actual memory rather than watching blurry projections of my recollection.

Only, this memory wasn’t my own. The street, the buildings, all of it was unfamiliar. Yet, I knew this location. After all, it was the same setting burning down around myself in the physical world.

I heard some noises from between the buildings, returning my attention to the scene depicted. I checked the alleyways between a few buildings before finding that same person from before. That small girl with a striking resemblance to the one I had been traveling with was standing alone in that shadowed, dirty crevice, bawling her eyes out.

These were Yukiko’s memories.