Severus sat down and grabbed an apple for breakfast…or lunch…Late brunch. After several days he finally went through his mail again, money wasn’t getting tight or anything but if he starts losing dedicated customers, it could. He hasn’t been feeling exactly motivated to work on his commissions, quite the opposite, but sometimes you have to force yourself. That’s what working is all about after all, whether self employed or not.

Medicine, relaxing potion and…and…”I hate this.” He hates it.

It’s always the same, every damn week he makes the exact same concoction. He can’t take it anymore. His talents are completely and utterly wasted on this nonsense. Why is he still even pretending like he wants any of this?

He threw the letters to the ground and leaned as far back as he could into his seat.

Where did it all go wrong?

Maybe he’s just gotten sick of his skill, makes sense, when you do nothing but the same monotonous actions with little to no change you tend to face this small issue known as “insanity” and “boredom”. If you mix those two together, you end up with a mind close to explosion.

He doesn’t wanna do this anymore, ever since leaving Hogwarts potion brewing became more of a hobby that he forced himself to turn into his line of work. Turns out if you turn your hobby into a job, it quickly sours and any enjoyment you had fades into the wind.

At this point in his life however it seems strange to just suddenly change occupations out of the blue…then again, he quit his former stable job despite the risk before.

Severus let out a groan before picking up the letters and preparing the orders. 

He’ll think it over for a few more nights, it could always just be that today was a “bad mood” day. He tends to get those quite often during this warm season. August was an enemy he just couldn’t deal with…Well, he could brew cooling potions more often, but uuuugh he just doesn’t wanna move a finger most days. Thank goodness the season was ending soon.

Severus searches through his herb rack and gets to chopping, his eyes simultaneously barely able to stay open and unblinking.

The hours passed and as soon as he was done he sent off his owl with every single flask alongside letters that read very similar to each other. He might’ve mixed up names here and there, but, genuinely, he couldn’t give less of a shit about that right now.

He drags his tired, sweaty body back to bed and falls into the sheets. There he lays for quite a while, not quite being able to fall asleep yet also unable to get up. His bed felt gross, his skin felt gross, everything about him just felt so gross. A shower might help with his skin, the sheets needing nothing more than a simple cleaning spell, but the idea of raising his arms at any point for the rest of his day seemed improbable.

Severus’ mind began to wander, trying to think of anything to somewhat entertain his tired mind.

…There was really only one thing he could think of right now, the only topic that added a sort of difference in his life, the Potter family.

After that extremely awkward lunch argument he felt strange coming by. Lily still frequently invited him throughout the summer season, but it was clear she was trying to hide something.

Her efforts were in vain however. Severus had noticed that Harry was…different. He didn’t seem like a bad kid or anything but there is always this air of unhappiness around him. He never looks excited or interested in anything.

Whenever there was someone around he didn’t do anything aside from fiddling. Snape could swear the boy seemed afraid whenever anyone was near him. He doesn’t seem any better when alone though…

Lily wanted to invite Severus to Harry’s third birthday, but James uninvited him afterwards. Lily didn’t want Severus to know everything but she still let Severus in, James meanwhile doesn’t want Snape getting too close to Harry for whatever reason. James seemed much more insecure about his son. He still cares for the boy, but his parenting style was very different compared to Lily’s.

The biggest difference is definitely how the two would get the boy to play.

Lily always tries to get herself involved somehow, doing funny voices with the plushies and frequently forcing him to play some sort of board game that Harry doesn’t actually seem to enjoy all that much. James would often force toys on Harry, if that makes any sense. He gives the boy something and if he notices that Harry didn’t do anything with he takes it away and replaces it with something else.

Neither of them seem to let Harry play in his own way.

Severus would see the boy frequently hiding somewhere outside or doing his preferred method of play in his room during rare moments when his parents weren’t trying to push and pull him somewhere.

Harry likes to touch things and see how they react.

Once Severus saw Harry scratching at a lone Daisy that had somehow grown in their yard, he scratched at the yellow part until there was nothing left aside from the petals, then started crying. Later Severus saw Harry scratching against the stairs, he was trying to draw the flower he scratched before but his nails were really short, too short to leave marks into the wood. Harry still tried over and over, applying more and more pressure, he ended up hurting himself and causing his thumb to bleed in the process.

Severus quickly took out his wand and performed a simple heal spell. After Severus had performed the spell Harry looked up at him with wide eyes, his tiny hands tried reaching for Severus’ wand but the man simply put it back into his robe pocket. Harry pouted at him…it was the first time he saw the kid with any other expression aside from neutrality.

Whenever Harry cried, seemed surprised or even laughed, Harry’s face didn’t change much. Sometimes it seemed like his face would twitch, like he’s trying to hide his expressions on purpose…but why?

Ever since Severus had met the boy he was…fascinated. It’s unclear to him why, as most of the time the kid did less than a pet tortoise would. Somehow he could just understand things, notice aspects that neither Lily nor James seem to see. Snape was not a fan of children, quite the opposite. Harry however…he couldn’t help but feel a strange connection to him. 

Snape didn’t see why Harry’s difference was treated like a negative trait by his parents. Harry may seem unhappy, but that doesn’t mean he necessarily IS unhappy…right? Maybe that’s just nonsense conjured up by his tired mind.

He supposed there was one problem, something genuinely concerning about the kid. He wouldn’t speak, ever. 

Sometimes Harry made noises, to get things like food and drinks, but most of the time he would just sit quietly without a single peep coming out of him. The only time Severus had clearly heard the boy’s voice was when he spooked him a few months ago.

It’s likely why James seems so much more concerned compared to Lily. James had always  lo~ved to talk, Severus still remembers the many times James and Sirius would constantly cluck loudly like chickens in the library. He talked to pretty much anyone in school, and even with Severus most of his bullying began verbally before he got a lot more bolder in later school years.

“Ugh…” Severus thought he’d push those memories far away but most of them were still way too clear in his head.

Anyhow, James must be worried about Harry’s potential social life. It’s not exactly easy to make friends with others when you’re quiet and “well behaved” after all. He likely wants Harry to be more rebellious and active like he used to be.

Harry may be a toddler now, so there isn’t much to worry at this time in terms of friends…

Time passes each day however, and someday, if the boy doesn’t change…he might become the “Snivellus” for a “James”.

…Or maybe Severus is just projecting his own issues and childhood hang-ups on a child with some sort of developmental issue. In reality his life could be just peachy. Due to being a Potter he will have plenty of admirers simply for being a member of a popular bloodline and if the genetic lottery favors him just like his father Harry might also be loved for his face.

As Severus continued fantasizing about the Potter family and their drama, evening was beginning to approach and Snape had finally gotten the energy to stand up and take a warm shower that’ll hopefully fix him for at least five hours minimum.