We should have stayed in the fucking trees.

Between Krys and me, we managed to carry five piles of kindling. I decided to be nice and throw one in the direction of the adults, but when I kept the rest for my camp, everyone (read as: Trent, Dawson, Abigail, and Kendall) had something to say.

“That’s not fair!”

“What about us?”

“Dude, that’s just selfish.”

“Um, did you expect me to get kindling for everyone?”

“It’s the principle,” Abigail said, stepping forward. “You gave the walking dead kindling after McBaldy and the rest talked shit about for hours, but not your own peers?”

“Abby. Two of them are sick, and the others are caring for them. Are you sick? Is there a condition you have that I don’t know about? Do you have a, ya know, legitimate reason as to why you can’t go secure your own branches?”

She opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water, but nothing came out. “Ya know what? It's not my problem, regardless of your answer. I informed you that we," I exaggerated my pointing between Krys and I, "were going to go look kindling for our camp. I ended the announcement by suggesting, if not imploring, you to do the same. You aren't in my camp, therefore I don't feel the need to burn up calories for people who wouldn't do the same. Or have you been switched with a doppelganger somewhere between the crash and now?" I paused, looking between the rag-tag group, waiting for one of the eight to speak up. All three boys sucked their teeth but glanced away or rolled their eyes. Kendall and Abigail just huffed but kept quiet. Faintly in the back of my mind, I noticed the absence of Caleb, Grace, Jennifer, and Mason. I made a mental note to see who they allied with, but I had a feeling I knew where the cards would fall. I realized that this meant either "That's what I thought... Also Matt, Liam, and Butch, were already in the forest. Are you not camping with them?’

“I, I...yes,“ Abby managed to get out.

“Well, then go cry to them. I'm done with this," gesturing at them with my hand in case they weren't picking up my tone, "for tonight. Now, good day,” I finish, waving off Abigail and the rest like the pests they were.

Yet they stood, staring at me like I'd grown two heads.

“Good day.”

They finally started scurrying off as I turned back to my shocked friends.

Quinn, having experienced the full force of my anger early in our friendship, understood that this was fairly tame for the amount of stress I was feeling. Krys just rubs my back, and it doesn't escape my attention that Quinn's focused on said hand with suspicious eyes.

I take deep breaths to calm myself down.

“I knew Abigail was entitled, but not that damn stupid,” Reyya spoke up in the silence. A snort escapes me and the group.

“Yeah. I’ve known her since first grade, and she’s always been…a piece of work.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

“Yeah....Onto more important things, can anyone start a fire tonight?”

“Ooh, I can!” Inès is basically bouncing in the sand.

“Not expecting that. I’ll leave it to you then.”

Inès gives us a thumbs up before walking towards the shore.

“Wait, where are you going,” Octavia calls out.

“I can’t make the spinny thing, but I can make a spark with rocks. My cousins and I used to go into the woods all the time, and we kept trying to make fires, but it didn't work, forcing us to watch a whole bunch of videos on it. You can do it with flint rocks, carbon steel, and stuff like limestone and quartz. My cousin almost burned our uncle's backyard once we got it.”

Octavia voices what the rest were thinking. “But you can't find that here."

“Actually, limestone can be found in the ocean.”

“It’s not just freshwater?”

“Nope. You can find it on beaches. But that's not necessary because I always keep quartz in my jewelry box for good luck, and you know I don’t leave the state without my jewelry. I’ll grab some fallen piece from the plane and scratch at it with the quartz.”

“Wow.”

“Righhhhhhhh? Tavi, come on.”

“Since I’m done, I’m using the bathroom,” Zahra says, brushing off the sand from her clothes as she stands.

“Oop, I need to go too,” Reyya sighs.

“Me, three.” Krys hops up.

The three set off, and it’s just Anthony, Quinn and I.

“I’m going to talk with Micah,” Ant mutters before stalking off. 

Make that two of us. Quinn says nothing for a second, but I know it’s coming.

“Are you and Krys back together now?”

“...I actually don't know.”

“You two make me sick.”

Krys wrapping themselves around me as we all settled for the night didn’t help clear the air. 

To ease the stress of today's events, Tav went ahead and warmed the wind somehow over the fire with a rinky-dink set up and poured some into everyone’s cup or bottle. The drink only made Krys more clingy, but I didn’t protest because it was the only thing holding me together. Ignoring the looks passing around the camp, I put my blanket over us when they got comfortable and snuggled even closer.

My phone didn’t work. I couldn’t read my books. Instead of my ceiling, which would be pitch black, I had a starry sky to stare at. Instead of oldies playing softly from my record player, I heard the waves rushing back and forth and loud-ass insects from the trees I could hear all the way over here.

And breathing. I hear people breathing all around me. I know we’re all awake. Ant is trying to put up a front like he’s sleeping but his breathing’s off. Quinn recited lines from the play she was supposed to star in when we returned. I can tell Zahra is crying, and probably Reyya, just more quietly. Octavia and Inès are whispering low enough that I can’t make it out over the fire I can barely feel.

I'm so tired, but I can’t go to sleep. It’s all too much. All the things I couldn’t do temporarily now felt like impossibilities. I can’t give my mom her good night kiss. I couldn’t hear my sister sing the lyrics to her newest song. I wouldn’t be able to hold the last stuffie Pop-pop gave me.

I didn't process that I was crying until everything blurred and I felt Krys’ hand wipe my cheek. They wordlessly rolled over until I was on top. Krys held my face to their neck, hand rubbing my back. I clung to them for dear life. I knew my grip was suffocating, but they said nothing. Krys didn't have to say a thing because their tears began to mix with mine.

I reach for Quinn’s leg near my waist. She silently lays her head against my shoulder. The next thing I know, I feel Inès’s long hair on my calf, and her face rests on my thigh. I watch Octavia get on my opposite side, her face burrowed in Krys’ side.

The tears slow down as I drift in and out of light sleep. Zahra and Reyya joined at some point; whether it was for warmth or comfort, I find myself believing it was a mix of both. Ant held out the longest but still came over. I feel his body heat by our heads. Is it bad that I imagine him being curled up like a dog napping by its master? I give in to the urge, looking up to see him just so. He even has his hands crisscrossed as he sleeps on one of his forearms.

While this is touching and all, I’m praying for this to be a figment of my twisted imagination.

I drift off again, hoping for this to be a dream.