Tomorrow’s #1: Lovely Runner

Chapter 2

After I stepped out of the subway station on my way home, I bought a single-serving carton of soju. I took a big sip from the straw as I trudged home.

As soon as the alcohol kicked in, my emotions surged, and I burst into tears again. I walked down the deserted night street and wailed out loud. I cried for a bit, took a sip of soju, bawled some more, then took another sip.

As I looked up at the sky, everything felt so unreal.

“Sun—” Hic!

I sobbed again.

Clenching my eyes, I took a step when someone bumped into my shoulder. I bounced back from the impact and collapsed on the ground. You would think people would stop and ask someone who fell down if they were all right, but when I looked behind me, the person I bumped into seemed to be in a rush and quickly shuffled away.

“Why did you bump into me?!” I wailed again. I was sad already, but that person knocking me down made me feel even worse.

I buried my face in my knees and bawled for a while. When my tears dried up to some extent, I lifted my head and wiped my eyes.

As I grabbed my bag and stood up, something fell out. I picked up the object and examined it. It was a flat, circular piece of iron. When I popped open the lid, which had the Chinese character for “luck” inscribed on it, a watch face appeared. The object was a pocket watch, and the hands were pointing to eleven o’clock.

Jeez, has it already gotten this late? I took out my phone and checked the time. It read eleven o’clock, just like the pocket watch.

I looked back in the direction that the person who bumped into me had vanished. It seemed like they had dropped it.

I sniffled, put my phone and the watch into my pocket, and began walking again.

□ ■ □

I lay on my side in bed and blankly stared at the wall. Every inch of my room was covered in photos of Sunjae.

The person I loved the most had died, yet not a single person asked me if I was alright. That was because I didn’t show it. I was a pro at acting like someone who didn’t care about K-pop idols.

No one had a clue. I completely fooled them. Thinking about it choked me up. The tears brimmed in my eyes.

At that moment, I heard the clang of a giant bell from my neighbor’s apartment. Their TV was turned up so loud that I could hear the broadcast of the bell-ringing ceremony in downtown Seoul, where someone was shouting, “Happy New Year!”

I quickly sat up, clenched my fist, and banged on the wall. “Turn down the TV!” I shouted.

My neighbor banged on their wall even louder. “Stop wailing like a ghost!”

“A ghost?” My lower lip jutted out. Then my nostrils flared. I could feel another burst of sadness crawling up my throat. I threw my covers over my head and wept quietly.

It was January 1st. A new year had begun, but Sunjae failed to make it to the new year. It had started without him.

I sobbed into my pillow, then turned over and curled up into a ball. I tugged my covers toward me and buried my face in them. A wail escaped through my clenched teeth. Give me Sunjae back! Damn you, world. Give him back!

As I wiped my eyes and turned to the other side, I felt something squashed under my butt.

Huh? Is that my phone? I let go of my covers and groped around on my mattress. It seemed like the light was shining from under the covers. When I looked down, the light near my butt slowly began to spread.

“Uh… What the heck?”

The light suddenly radiated everywhere and filled the room. I felt like I was going to go blind, so I clenched my eyes and screamed.

Then the light, which seemed about to explode, suddenly disappeared. Though I still had my eyes closed, I could tell it was gone.

“Sol. Im Sol.” Someone was grabbing my shoulders and shaking them hard.

Huh? What the…? When I jerked my head up, my eyes locked on a pair of dark pupils. I saw a familiar face. She looked troubled and signaled upward with her eyes.

When I looked where she was signaling, a woman with a disappointed expression was staring at me with her arms crossed. H-huh?

“Not only did you fall asleep in class, but you were talking in your sleep. Do you want to run laps around the track?”

My mouth dropped open on its own. What’s my ethics teacher doing here?

When I looked down, I saw a textbook drenched in drool left open on top of a desk. I was wearing an orange jacket, a matching orange vest, and a crimson necktie. Why am I wearing my school uniform?

I looked over at the face that I had just locked eyes with. The girl seemed familiar—it was Eunhee, one of my classmates in my second year of high school. No way, what the heck is going on? Am I dreaming?

Smack.

The teacher came over and hit my head lightly. Ouch!

“Grab your textbook and go to the back of the classroom for the rest of class.”

My face was blank, and I was frozen in my seat.

The teacher raised her voice and told me to hurry up.

I clenched my eyes shut hard and opened them again. She was still frowning at me. Why does this feel so real? I wondered.

“Okay…” Oh my god, I can even talk.

I grabbed my textbook, stood up, and went to the back of the room. Staring at the classroom from the back made me feel like I was going crazy.

Huh? What is this? I held my textbook with one hand and dug around in my pocket. I felt the pocket watch I’d picked up before with the symbol for “luck” inscribed on it. When I opened it, I saw the roman numerals from one to twelve etched on the face, but the hands were in a different position from when I first found it.

Twelve o’clock? I turned my head and looked at the clock on the classroom wall. It was three in the afternoon. Is this watch broken? No, this is just a dream.

There was a knock and the front door of the classroom opened. I recognized the woman at the door, who wore rimless glasses and had her hair in a tight bun, as the school nurse. “Ah, I’m sorry to interrupt during class,” she said. “I’m here because of the physical exam results. Could I have a word with Im Sol?”

Everyone looked at me, the girl standing at the back of the room. As I stood still blinking like an idiot, my teacher signaled for me to go.

I closed my textbook, opened the classroom’s rear door, and stepped out into the hallway. I took a few steps down the hall and stood in front of the nurse. If my memory was correct, she should say something like, “Your blood test results showed that you have acute anemia, so you must get a prescription for iron supplements.”

“Sol, the results of your last blood test showed that your numbers are much lower than the average. You have acute anemia. It would be dangerous not to do anything, so you must take iron supplements.”

My memory was indeed correct.

“Does your vision ever get blurry, or do you lose your balance when you’ve been sitting?” the nurse asked.

I stared at her blankly, and she looked at me as if wondering what was the matter with me.

“Sol…?”

“Yes?”

“Are you okay?”

How could I be? I turned my head and scanned the field past the hallway windows. The maple trees planted on the field’s periphery had turned red. A covered scaffold was set up on the left end of the field to block the area where they were rebuilding the cafeteria.

The reconstruction of the cafeteria. I remembered that when the students complained that the construction noise was going to affect their grades, the supervising teacher had shouted, “You don’t even pay attention in class!”

Suddenly, the sound of falling debris snapped me back to the present as a cloud of dust floated over the scaffolding. I recognized everything around me… because this was my past.

□ ■ □

I sat on the bus nervously, shaking my legs as I chewed on my thumbnail.

“This stop is Jagam High School. The next stop is Jagam intersection.”

I lifted my eyes from my knees and looked out the window. A row of maple trees lined the street. After passing under a pedestrian bridge, scenery that I felt like I had walked through before spread out before my eyes. I had once come here by myself because I wanted to step into the schoolyard of the high school that Sunjae went to, but I couldn’t figure out the map, so I had gotten lost near the pedestrian bridge.

I pressed the “stop” button and stood by the bus’ back door. My heart was racing. Everything was just as I remembered it, and I could feel my heartbeat with my entire body. Is this what people call lucid dreaming? Is it supposed to feel so real? I wondered.

The school nurse had kept asking me if I was okay, but since I was startled by the fact that the same conversation we had six years ago was repeating itself, I had run out of her office and left school entirely. But if this dream is about my past, and I’m living it again regardless of my will, then maybe I’ll be able to meet Sunjae, who I never got to meet back then.

After leaving my school, I waved down a taxi out of habit, but I didn’t have any cash on me. This dream was so accurate that I was using the exact same Hurada wallet I used at that time. I had no choice but to get on a bus.

On my way to Jagam High School, I happened to catch my reflection in a building’s window. I had short bangs, long hair tied in a ponytail, and pink socks over my pantyhose. This is exactly how I looked six years ago. I couldn’t help but gasp.

I walked swiftly and then began running. My heart felt about to explode because of my desperate wish. I don’t care if this is a dream. I want to tell Sunjae that many people love him, but their voices simply weren’t as loud as mine. I want to tell him that he’s such a wonderful person.

I began to run out of breath, and my sides hurt. I couldn’t help but hunch over. After taking deep breaths, I lifted my head and saw a sign that read “Jagam High School.”

Wow, this is absolutely nerve-racking. I mustered up my courage and stepped past the front gate of the school. I thought this was a dream, so there was nothing to fear. Still, I couldn’t stop my heart from racing like crazy.

I walked across the field in front of the school. From afar, I saw a student leaning casually to the side in front of the sink. He wore gray pants, a white shirt, and a beige knit vest. Whether I squinted my eyes or opened them wide, it was clear he was Sunjae. Oh my god…

“Sunjae!” I sprinted at full speed toward him. My voice rang through the field, and his familiar head turned toward me. I could clearly see his face.

Sunjae… It’s Sunjae. I’ve only seen pictures, but this is Sunjae in high school.

I made it across the field in no time and hugged him. Was I always this fast? But then again, I can fly in my dreams sometimes.

Since I couldn’t slow down, Sunjae ended up staggering back a few steps. I buried my face in his vest and burst into tears.

“Sunjae, it’s really you!” Sniffle! “You’re really here! This is real!” I cried.

“Wh-what the…?” Sunjae sounded surprised.

Suddenly, someone yanked my shoulder as if they were trying to rip me off of him.

With my face covered in tears, I looked at Sunjae and then at the person grabbing my shoulder. It was Baek Inhyuk.