When I opened my eyes again, John was sitting on the floor next to the bed, sleeping.

I had no idea what time was it, but it was completely dark outside. I reached out my hand to wake him up but stopped halfway.

I watched him for a moment. 

This guy was worrying about a person he didn't know that well, to the point of bringing me food and even falling asleep while waiting for me to wake up, probably to make sure I ate what he had brought.

I didn't remember anyone doing something like that for me before.

How curious he was.

Just now as I watched him sleep, it seemed strange to see him so calm, very different from usual. He was almost always smiling and talking to everyone he could.

I tilted my head to get a better look, but when I did, I accidentally moved my knee and hit him in the arm, causing him to fall forward hard.

I covered my mouth with both hands and opened it wide.

John whimpered and brought a hand to his forehead, rubbing it.

I couldn't help but laugh, covering my mouth with the sheet to muffle the sound.

I pulled the sheets up to my head, unable to stop laughing.

When I finally stopped, I poked my head out from under the sheets, wiping away a tear, to find John pulling out what he had brought from a thermal backpack with a small smile.

He looked up at me and smiled even more.

– I finally hear your laugh. It's like... music for my ears. – He suddenly said. – I like it. 

I stopped smiling and lowered my head, embarrassed. 

– Thanks, I guess.

– But it did hurt. – He added, making me laugh again. 

– I'm so sorry, it was unintentional. – I said, trying to hold back my laughter.

He smiled and handed me a Tupperware with food, but took it away before I could take it.

– You should sit down, I'll turn on the light. – He stood up and went to turn it on.

I followed his advice, but not before putting Matt's jacket aside so it wouldn't get dirty.

When he came back to me, I took the Tupperware and held it close to my face so the smell would reach me directly.

It was curry chicken and it smelled delicious.

John moved his hand near my feet as he looked at me, waiting for me to pick them up so he could sit down. I folded them and he did.

We began to eat in silence.

– Do you always have chicken for dinner? – I asked, remembering that they had also made something with chicken the other time.

He had just put a bite in his mouth, so he waited until he finished chewing to answer.

– Not always, but it is easier to prepare.

– Is that so? – I replied, remaining silent again.

John finished before me and waited for me to finish as well. When I took the last bite, he extended his hand so I handed him the Tupperware.

– It was delicious. – I made a pause. – Thank you, John.

He smiled and took it.

– I'll tell mom. – He put it on his and bent down to take the thermal backpack, putting both in there and closing it.

I had said thank you for everything he was doing for me, but I didn't say anything.

As soon as he finished he leaned back, lying on the bed.

I smiled and brought my knees to my chest, hugging them with both arms. I rested my chin on them, still watching him.

My eyes drifted to Matt's jacket and my smile slowly faded. 

Thanks to John coming, I had put aside what had happened, but right now, in this silence, everything came back.

Memories flooded my mind and my vision became clouded with them, feeling hurt, weak, and sad. So many negative feelings that I felt as if my heart could break at any moment.

I hated feeling this way.

I didn't cry anymore, but the emptiness I felt was much worse.

– Is it... painful? – I suddenly heard.

I blinked a few times and looked at John.

He was staring at me.

I had no idea if seconds or minutes had passed. His question had caught me off guard. If he had asked me that a few months ago, I probably would have blown him off by butting in and asking stupid questions. But now, I knew him well enough to know that he didn't ask lightly.

His question was deadly serious, and he seemed genuinely concerned.

I tightened my grip on my legs and slightly buried my head between my arms, staring into nothing.

– Yes. – I simply replied.

I could hear a sigh from him. 

– I'm sorry... I can't be of any help to you, Alex.

I turned my gaze to John and he had a sad look on his face. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything.

We stayed silent for several minutes until I only felt like saying a few words.

– It hurts… More than you can imagine.. – I gritted my teeth hard. – I had everything, I was so happy.

I could visualize the future I had planned for myself falling apart.

John watched me, still lying down.

– Destiny is... Trash. – I blurted out as a final phrase. I didn't want to say anything else.

John sat up and leaned over to me placing a hand on my head, gently stroking it in comfort.

– You mean it's a shit? 

I widened my eyes at that. It was a strong word, but it definitely described it better, so I smiled slightly and nodded a few times.

He smiled back.

– If you say it's a shit, then shit it is. 

I smiled at that and then let out a small dry laugh.

– It is. –  I sentenced.

We stayed in that position for so long that my legs started to go numb.

I let out a moan and John stopped his caress abruptly.

– Are you alright? Does something hurt? – He sounded alarmed. 

I looked at him for a second and then smiled.

– It's just my legs, they went numb. – I said stretching them until they hit his leg.

– Oh. 

He pulled back the sheets and stretched my legs over his. 

– H-Hey...

– Don't worry, I'll move them so you can get through.

Right now, John looked like he was a mother taking care of her little son.

He started to stretch and contract my right leg and as soon as he did, that annoying tingling started all over my leg.

– Oh my god. Stop, stop! – I whimpered.

He stopped immediately and looked at me. 

– What is it? 

– The... tingling... – I said, not knowing if that had an exact name.

– Tingling? – John pondered. After a second he seemed to understand and his expression changed from a worried one to a playful one.

– No... – I warned him, stretching my hand and pointing at him with my finger. – Don't you dare.

He ignored my complaint and started to move my leg, making me let out a small cry.

– Stop it, stop it! Please, John! – I complained, laughing at the strange sensation my leg was transmitting.

I kicked for him to leave me, but that only made it worse so I stopped. I reached forward and started hitting his arm, while he laughed and continued with his thing.

– God, I'll kill you! – I told him, still laughing involuntarily.

I leaned forward even further and contracted my legs, using John's arm as a boost, managing to escape his grip.

I ended up with both hands on John's arm and my head pressed against him, catching my breath from laughing so hard.

I moved my leg slightly and the feeling came back, so I turned towards them and began to slowly move both feet until it passed me.

Just in case, I stood up and walked in place. I sighed in relief and sat back down.

My gaze went back to John, who was faking an innocent smile.

I looked at him reluctantly.

– You're going to pay for this, remember that.

– You sound like a real mobster, how scary.

I lowered my head and laughed, shaking my feet that now dangled beside the bed. We had ended up sitting side by side.

I looked ahead.

When John goes back home, I will be alone again, and all the thoughts will probably come back to me like knives.

I didn't want that at all.

I considered asking him to call his mother to come over, but I knew she would be worried if she found out I was living here.

I took a look at him and gulped.

– John.

He leaned forward, leaning on his legs and turning to face me to get a better look. I took a breath and fixed my gaze on him.

– Yeah? – He asked nervously, probably because of the way I was looking at him.

– Could you stay with me today?