It was 1am. Why was he working out at 1am? He said he couldn’t hang out because he needed to get up early tomorrow. So, why the hell was he working out at one in the morning? Our smart-watches were connected so I got updates through it. It must have been malfunctioning or why else would it be telling me that Connor “finished a workout”? That must have been it; a malfunction, I told myself as I got ready for bed. I usually stayed up quite late, but now I kind of wished I had been asleep when I got the notification, because it was making my head spin with all kinds of crazy scenarios of what Connor could be doing to make the smart-watch think he was working out. 

It was proving difficult to sleep. I had always been an imaginative kid, at least that’s what my parents called me when they compared me to my perfect, hard-working older sister, Hana. If you asked me, she was perfectionist, rather than perfect and a workaholic, rather than someone who merely had a good work ethic. Nonetheless, my brain would not let me sleep. That damn notification. I tossed and I turned, got up to drink some water, turned on my white noise machine, but nothing helped. In the end I got up, pulled my unruly hair into a messy ponytail, threw on some sweatpants and one of Connor’s hoodies I had stolen, and like any reasonable girlfriend I drove to my boyfriend’s apartment complex. I sat outside his building in my car and waited. Waited for what? No clue. Something. There had to be something. 

🝔🝔🝔

I had fallen asleep. In my car. Outside my boyfriend’s apartment building. I checked the clock on my dashboard, it read 5am. I should go home. I really shouldn’t be here. What had I been thinking? Connor hadn’t done anything wrong. It was all in my head. Besides, what would I do if he saw me sitting here like some crazy stalker? I started the engine and drove home, relieved I hadn’t been caught acting impulsive. That was another word my parents liked to describe me as. I preferred spontaneous or uninhibited, but maybe this time they were right, not that I would ever admit to it. 

Well at home, I fell right into my bed and didn’t get up until noon after sleeping fitfully, plagued even in sleep by my anxious mind. As soon as I had woken up I looked through my notifications, disappointed that there were no new ones from Connor, although my best friend, Austin, had texted me. Connor wasn’t the most romantic guy in the world, but he sometimes sent me a good morning-text, which was nice. I decided to text him first instead, he must have been busy with work after all, and he knew I liked to sleep in late, so he probably didn’t want to accidentally wake me. 

Ella: Good morning, babe! ❤

Connor: its noon

Ella: You’re right! Good afternoon, my love ❤ How has your day been?  

Connor: busy 

Connor: come over tonight

Ella: Of course! See you after work! I love you ❤

I looked at the text message exchange between us. Connor really wasn’t that great at texting, but it was just because he wasn’t very expressive. It was just through text though, usually he was the loudest guy in the room. Hana liked to call him obnoxious, but she just didn’t get it. Hana was more introverted and serious so she just didn’t see the appeal in someone with a big personality. I thought he was charismatic and playful, there was a bit of a bad boy charm to him. Connor wasn’t some boring suit-wearing, clean-cut, finance guy and I liked that he was the opposite of whatever my parents wanted for me.