Harvey invited himself into my dressing room again right as I tightened the ribbon on my braid.

“Sir has an important client here today who specifically requested you. He’ll be in VIP.” Harvey said, his voice sounding grim.

I wasn’t put off by the slightest. So, what? A lot of ‘straight’ rich important old men requested me. Nothing new.

What’s new is the fact that I’m getting a warning about it beforehand. I stared at Harvey as I raised a suspicious brow.

“Sir didn’t give any details...” Harvey avoided looking at me now as he shuffled closer to the door.

Liar.

“I’d brace yourself, though.”

I nodded before straightening out the ribbons I wore for an outfit. Covering up as much as I could with the thick strips of silky fabric. Harvey was already gone by the time I turned around and left.

The other women I performed with were already waiting on the side of the stage for me. As soon as I got there we all stepped out onto the stage.

The song went as usual. My brain got fuzzy so I let go of it and let myself wonder away from my body.

Things were different in the VIP lounge however. There was a man already waiting for me on my seat. I watched as my body sensually sat on his lap, my hands running down his chest. The man didn’t give me a chance to do the usual routine before he flipped me around and pressed my chest into the couch as he hovered above my back.

I felt myself panic a bit. VIP guest weren’t allowed to go much further than this. And they all usually settled for a little lap dance and touching.

I look toward security who didn’t even look at me and that’s when I knew.

This was on purpose.

“Delicious,” the man whispered behind me, I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck before he pressed his tongue against me and slid it up.

I winced like the feeling had physically hurt me. It was gross. All of it was gross. People touching me. I don’t want it. It’s all my fault. It’s because I avoided Him, because I was late.

It’s because I’m singing. But I can’t stop.

I can’t.

My hands, arms, back, chest, thighs, legs, neck, face. Everything. None of it belongs to me. I wasn’t allowed to say no or walk away. I didn’t have a choice.

Suddenly he squeezed my hips enough to bruise and bit down hard on my shoulder. It startled me so much I was jerked back into my body and stopped singing to cry out in pain. I tried to move away but one of his hands gripped onto both my wrists to keep me in place as he sucked on my neck. He wasn’t a vampire so I didn’t have to worry about blood loss but I was worried about what he’d do next.

I felt myself panicking, blood rushing to my brain as adrenaline hit me full-force. I heard a roar in my head before I felt my consciousness suddenly yanked out of my grasp as everything went dark.

Next thing I knew I was awake and being dragged back on the stage in front of these hundreds of people with my disheveled hair and bruised neck. Unclean.

The men were grumbling about how I was insane to attack a VIP like that. They joked like I wasn’t there calling me a feral 'thing' that should be put down.

As soon as I was hidden from everyone I shoved away from the men holding me and bolted to the nearest bathroom, kicking open a stall and collapsing in front of the toilet, dry heaving into it.

I hadn’t eaten all day or last night so there was nothing that could even come out. I just felt disgusting and nauseous. I didn’t want to do this anymore.

“Samuel?” Harvey peered into the stall, “ah um, Sir wanted to see you. Now.” He looked at me sympathetically before walking away.

It never ends.

🌊🌊🌊

I knocked before entering the grand room with a huge bed and lush sheets with a velvety soft duvet.

“You’re finally here, Sammy.” Reid sat at the edge of his bed in nothing but a silky dark red robe that was completely open with a flute of champagne in his hand, “how was your performance tonight?”

I didn’t answer. I hated my voice. It’s only ever caused me problems and made people do things to me against my will.

“Speak,” he ordered, setting his glass down, and glaring at me.

“I failed,” I spoke softly.

He smiled. "Come here.”

I did.

I didn’t want to.

Reid pulled me to him, laying me on his bed. I felt his weight settle on top of me. “Sing for me, Sammy.”

I shook my head as tears welled in my eyes. I hardly ever refused or cried but tonight had been too much. I didn’t want to. I wanted it all to end already.

Between the fear, the gap in my memory, and now the dread of the punishment I’d receive right now, it was too much.

He grabbed a fist full of my long hair and pulled, forcing me to look at him, “sing,” he seethed.

I let out a sob in response. I couldn’t. Their was a huge lump in my throat. I didn’t want to be used tonight. I just wanted my body to be mine. Just for tonight.

His hands wrapped around my neck and squeezed, cutting off my oxygen. My hands automatically went to try and pry his off.

“Why can’t you be the good little bitch you used to be.”

I cried.

“What kind of a siren are you if you can’t even sing. How else am I supposed to enjoy myself? You’re not as pretty as a woman,” he ran one hand through my hair, “you owe me, Sammy. I sheltered and fed you for ten years. I taught you how to please people and put a use to that voice of yours so you can pay me back.”

He finally released my throat. I choked and gasped for air, panting heavily underneath him. Lust filled his eyes as he gazed at my pained face. I tried to cover my face in the hopes that he'd stop and get off me but he only took both of my wrists into one hand as the other worked to take care of himself.

My mind was fighting with itself. Screaming. My thoughts running a million times a minute as I fought to keep my consciousness.

Oddly enough, I felt relieved. Relieved that I had more time before he’d use me again. Sure, he was using me now in a way but this was easy to clean and forget. 

Eventually I couldn’t fight it anymore and let my mind fall back into the little head space that my brain created after the second time Reid had used me. It was like I left my body and was simply just floating. No pain or feelings or thoughts. Just me. And the touches.

The lightness of Reid’s weight, his touch, leaving me is what breaks me out of my trance. “Go home,” he orders, getting comfortable in his bed.

I don’t hesitate to stand up and collect my costume, putting it on. I leave his room in less than a minute rushing for the locker room in shame.

Once I’ve cleaned Reid’s mess off of my chest and I’m dressed in the comfort of my baggy hoodie and sweatpants, I leave. My tear stained cheeks flushing when the cold air hits them.

I want to swim right now. Normally I wouldn’t even think of it after an awful day like this because I’d be too dirty for the ocean…but no one’s had there way with me like that. I think I’m worthy enough to relish in the soft embrace of the waters.

The beach isn’t far, just on the other side of the road. I’m practically running there, peeling off my hoodie and pants, folding them neatly on a rock. It’s almost three in the morning and no one’s here, I doubt they’ll be stolen.

It’s an oddly windy night and there’s a surprising amount of dangerous waves rushing to the shore, but it doesn’t stop me from diving in, feeling my legs meld together, my feet grow and thin out into a baby blue fin. Iridescent blue scales cover my tail. There are a few on the tops of my webbed hands, shoulders, and a couple on my cheeks. Gills have formed on my neck and my ears have become something like ear-fins.

I glide through the water easily. The feeling of the ocean embracing me everywhere is my favorite feeling in the world. I trust the ocean. It’s something that’s never hurt me. I can sing all I want and no fish will even bat an eye. Not that I want to sing. If I had a choice, I’d never sing again.

Then out of nowhere something slammed into my back knocking the water out of me. We struggled against each other, sinker deeper until I was able to swim out of the way of it and turned to glare at the offender, coming face to face with a wide eyed...human.

Our noses were hardly centimeters apart. Our eye contact broke and I flinched back when an explosion of bubbles and a muffled yell came from the scared human.

This idiot just let out all his air. There’s no way he’ll be able to swim back up without losing consciousness. He seemed to realize that at the same time I did because he slammed his hand against his mouth, his eye growing wider. He started to struggle as he swam back up, his movements slowing.

God damnit.

I hook my arms under his and carry him back up to the surface as fast as I can, my gills disappearing as soon as they leave the water. He doesn’t gasp for air like humans are supposed to. He just sits there limply in my arms.

Is he dead? Is there a dead human in my arms right now? This is just perfect. Exactly what I needed as the cherry on top to this shitty night.

I swim back to the shore, struggling to get him fully out of the water with no legs.

Dead humans are heavy. Or- hopefully unconscious human.

When I get a look at him he isn’t breathing- and now neither am I because, holly shit, this guy’s looks are breathtaking. His wet curly black hair and bronze skin have me mesmerized.

How can someone’s jawline be so-

oh my god! He’s dying!

I check his pulse, it’s there but it’s faint. He’s not breathing. Is this the kind of situation where one would do mouth to mouth?

How cliché. Not that it matters anyway. To me, this is just simply saving someone’s life.

I position myself over him, bring my face closer to his, taking a deep breathe and-

“Eugh uh coff,” he starts coughing and spitting up sea water that shoots up into my face. I roll him over so he doesn’t drown himself again.

I wipe the water out of my eyes. After I blink a few times I notice the man staring at me, wide eyed again.

“M-mermaid,” he stammers.

And that’s when I realize I never actually shifted back. Everything is on full display for this human, the fin-ears, webbed hands, scales and tail.

He knows.

A human knows.