They had finally made progress. Chrys was now aware of one, but arguably not the biggest, aspect of the curse, and she was not outright rejecting sex with him. Yet, he could not find it in himself to cheer. He had no idea what she thought of him, if she regretted stumbling across his castle and meeting him and getting herself tangled up in his mess. When Chrys was in the picture, his curse seemed like the least of his worries. More frightening to him, was the possibility that she was actually in the midst of planning her escape while he was going in circles around her.

“Your G.”

What the hell, it’s morning already.

Grumpily, Kyzar lumbered to the study, passing by the dining room on his way. Chrys was seated at the table, listlessly poking at the pastry on her plate, and the first thing he noticed was her bloodshot eyes and dark circles. Like him, she probably had not slept at all, and it was obvious who was to blame for that. 

“Am I understanding you correctly, Your G? Lady Chrys may visit the garden?”

Kyzar raised his arm a little more, pointing at the forest beyond the walls.

“And the forest? Your G!”

Elliot sounded like he was going to have an aneurysm or a heart attack, maybe both if his luck was down in the gutters. At least he would die knowing that non-verbal communication with a beast was possible so long as he put his heart to it.

Grunt. She’s not a prisoner here.

“My lady may run away and never return. And, did something happen last night? Her eyes are swollen this morning.”

He pointed at his sword, lying against the wall in its stand. It had been a while since he unsheathed it. He wondered if his body even remembered how to hold a sword.

“A knight? Shall I assign one to my lady?”

You’re getting smarter every day, Elliot.

“What do you think of Avis?”

Avis Lispe. He was amongst the strongest and most competent men in his knightage, and Kyzar would have no worries leaving Chrys under his protection. But there was a problem: he was very attractive, and no one had anything bad to say about him. Whereas Kyzar was an imposing purple monster well known for his cold demeanour. 

Grunt. Fine. Even though it does not please me.

Chrys’s comfort and safety would always take precedence over his juvenile jealousy. 

Kyzar was with Chrys when Elliot informed her about the new arrangements. She would have full and unrestricted access to the gardens and the forest, but she would have to be escorted at all times, especially for the latter, where wild animals roamed freely. Chrys appeared surprised by this development, and also a little wary. He guessed she did not know what to make of it – was it a bribe, or was it a disguised escape route for her if she was finding it hard to say no? But all his worries became irrelevant when she wrapped her tiny hand around his finger and murmured her thanks with the sincerest pair of eyes he had ever seen on a person.

When it came time to introduce Avis to Chrys, Kyzar excused himself, but did not stray far. Elliot, in typical Elliot fashion, got the two acquainted by announcing very loudly that Avis knew he was handsome, so there was no need to harp on it. And when he stuck his head out to meet Kyzar’s eyes with a triumphant wink, genuinely thinking he had done an amazing job at turning Chrys off Avis, Kyzar knew it was time to prepare a hangman’s noose. Elliot was an idiot.

But Chrys appeared unmoved and uneasy. From behind, he saw her dip her head in a nod, murmur a “thank you”, and that was it. The same way she had acted with Elliot in her earlier days, Chrys  made no effort to continue the conversation. Kyzar did not know if she was uncomfortable with strangers, men or just people in general, because the only living things she had reached out for thus far were himself and the silver snake.

 Sometimes, he did not understand himself. He did not want Chrys to be close to Avis or any other man, but he also did not like if she was ill at ease with them. More than anything else, he wished for her to feel at home with him and the people he held close, so that maybe, she would consider staying with him. 

Whether his curse would be broken or not, was irrelevant. He was a selfish man – if Chrys could accept him as a monster, he could simply live out the rest of his life by her side, turning a blind eye to the possibilities she would be carving out of her own if she had just ignored him.

And perhaps she was trying to avoid that restrictive life. Days turned into weeks. Kyzar lost track. Chrys never brought it up. At the start, Kyzar had not taken any meals with her because he wanted to give her space, but he gave in to his desires to see her after a few days and begun eating with her again. Since finding out about the curse, she never attempted to communicate with him ever again. She did not ask him or Elliot any questions, choosing to spend most of her time out in the forest under the watchful eye of her guardian knight Avis.

It made Kyzar sad.

They were so close, yet so far.

Depressingly silent mealtimes, eyes that turned away from him when they crossed paths. 

From his study’s window, Kyzar watched Chrys in a brooding silence. She was seated under a large tree, her pale skin and white hair blending into the snow-covered ground. In the forest, she was completely at ease. 

Since being told that she could leave the castle as she pleased, she spent most of her time out beyond the walls. She was always within his line of sight, and he liked to think that she stayed under that specific tree because she knew he would look out his window occasionally, that she knew it would give him peace of mind to have her visible to him. Wishful thinking was all it was, because Chrys could not possibly know that he liked her and worried for her. After all, he was only a monster she could not stand to look at for long.

He noticed a silver thing moving towards her.

It’s that pesky soldier again.

Chrys was quick to spot it, and she did not hesitate to put her hand out. Of course, the snake was more than happy to slink onto her, up her arm and into the crook of her neck. Avis, exercising his due diligence by making periodic checks on her, saw the snake from afar, and he unsheathed his dagger immediately.

Kyzar was nowhere near them, but it was not hard to guess how the next events would play out. Heroic Avis would try to grapple the snake away from her, and Chrys would be sad if the snake got hurt. 

Then he saw the shield manifest around Chrys.

It was enchanting, and it was beautiful.

This was magic that came from Chrys, clear, iridescent magic that could be even more powerful if the curse on her was broken. Just as he had experienced when she mustered her healing ability in his time of need, her body glowed white. A mist formed around her and the snake in the shape of an orb. 

Kyzar was not particularly familiar with magic users, but it did not take a genius to guess that her shield was severely lacking. A proper and fully functional one would have a distinct boundary that separated its inside from the outside, but hers was fuzzy at best. Still, it was impressive that she could conjure magic of that scale without triggering the effects of the curse.

She and Avis exchanged a few words, and his dagger reunited with its sheath. The snake stayed curled on her shoulder, without a doubt enjoying her warmth. Kyzar grunted in displeasure. If he was not restricted by this damned curse, he could just as easily transform into a snake and perhaps Chrys would spare him some of her affections. Or, perhaps not. His theriomorphic form was that of a large serpent, and he looked more murderous than he would ever look cute. Chrys would probably think herself a quick snack for a monster snake and faint at the sight of him. Or, she might throw another book at him.

Their eyes met.

Finally, she was looking at him, and she was not scurrying to avert her gaze.

A small, tentative smile lifted her lips. She pointed at the snake on her shoulder.

Was this what happiness felt like?

Kyzar placed a hand on the glass. Her expression was a little awkward, unsure, as if she had forgotten how to connect with him after such a long period of distance. He wanted to run to her and pick her up, to hold her in his arms and have her cling to him, but he was hesitant to even wave in case he appeared too forward and scared her away again. At long last, she was lowering her guard with him, albeit only a tiny bit, and his biggest wish was that she would not retreat two steps when he had only just inched forward in this indecipherable maze of nerves, invisible walls, attraction and repulsion.

For today, this was as far as he was willing to let his courage take him. He would not go to her.