“Welcome home,” I whispered in Evander’s ear as we walked into my townhouse, my arms around his waist.

“It’s so beautiful,” he sighed, leaning into me, “oh it’s perfect for us.”

“I don’t think I’ll want to live anywhere bigger than this. I plan to keep it forever so you can stay as long as you want.”

“Forever?”

“Yeah? You plan to spend the rest of your life with me, right?” I laughed, kissing the left side of his throat.

“Absolutely. I adored our time with your family. I lost track of their names though. Remind me?”

“Alright,” I picked him up, making Evander squeal as I carried him to the couch and set him in my lap, staring out of the windows at my small deck and garden, “let’s see. Remi and Teddy are my grandparents. They have Cassian, Caelan, Calliope, Cadence, Cyrus, and Cruz. Cassian is married to Penelope and they have three kids. Camden, Carson, and Oliver. Caelan obviously married my Matua and had me and Kaia. Calliope has a husband named Bobby. Their daughters are Annamaria and Marishka. Cadence’s spouse is Layla. They don’t have any kids. Never wanted them. You know my uncle Cyrus but he’s married to my uncle Carter. They also decided against kids but foster teenagers. Finally my Uncle Cruz. He’s married to Sunny and they have three daughters. My cousin’s Cosette, Athena, and Artemis. Athena and Artemis are twins.”

“I don’t need a reminder of Belle and Zeke,” he snorted, relaxing in my lap, “I talk to Belle daily.”

“I know. She seems to love it. I can’t wait to meet Kip and Queenie’s daughter. Have they named her yet?”

“I don’t think so,” Evander shrugged, “if they have, they haven’t told me yet.”

My phone started to ring from my chest bag and Evander jumped up, running over to get it and making me smile. We regularly catered to each other, never needing to ask but inherently knowing what the other might need. I had figured out most of Evander’s little quirks and needs quickly. He woke up thirsty so I bought him a water bottle and kept it filled, leaving it on the nightstand, and planned to continue this in our home. Evander liked to eat as soon as he woke up before going for a run that I had started joining him on when we were staying with my parents. Our schedules worked wonderfully together, never changing to fit each other but rather accepting that our relationship was meant to be and fit perfectly.

“Hello?” I smiled, answering when Evander handed my phone to me before he went upstairs to start unpacking as we had brought all his things over yesterday.

“Koa?” Caelan whispered, his voice thick and I leaned up, “Hey. Um… I just got a call from my dad. Papa Remi… he had another heart attack. He’s gone.”

I nearly dropped my phone in shock before clearing my throat and fighting back tears, “really?”

“Yeah. I’m so sorry baby. I know you weren’t close, it was hard to be because of the distance but he loved you so much. Remi was so proud of you and happy to have met Evan. I’m flying to Montana tonight, Alexi is following me tomorrow he just has to let the hospital know. We’re having a small funeral for him but Remi is going to be cremated. We want to try and get Teddy to move here but I don’t think he will. He’ll want to stay in their home. I’m going to help them figure everything out.”

“Dad? Your voice… it’s cold.”

“I told you when you were little when I get surprised by things or I’m hurt, I change. That’s all. Your Matua will be back soon and help me through it. I don’t want you to feel like you need to come. Christmas already cut into your classes. You’re almost done with university. Papa Remi would be pissed if we pulled you away from that again on his behalf. Stay in Christchurch, okay? I need you to take Ranger and Marmalade. Please…”

“Of course. Bring them to the townhouse and… when you get to Montana have Papa Teddy call me. I’ll do my own little remembrance thing for Remi. Dad… I am so sorry. Are you sure you don’t want me there?”

“Your grandparents will never forgive me for taking you and Kaia away from your studies because they left us. Remi put education above everything, he was a teacher after all. I love you, Koa. Tell Evander for me? He seemed to really enjoy spending time with Remington.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I will. I’ll see you soon. Depend on Matua, okay?”

“I always do.”

We ended the call and I went to the backdoor, slid it open, and walked onto the deck. Sighing softly, I sat on the hardwood and relaxed, looking up at the sky. I knew that I would lose my grandparents eventually, but Remington had seemed fine when we were in Montana all of last week to celebrate Christmas. Knowing that we had barely made it in time to be there with him left me confused and I wasn’t sure what to do.

“I’ve put most of my clothes away,” Evander wrapped his arms around me from behind and I nodded, “Honey?”

“My Papa Remi is gone,” I whispered, hanging my head, “Caelan is leaving for Montana soon. I’m going to stay here to take care of Ranger and Marmalade, they’re bringing them over. Caelan told us to stay so we will, I’m just… confused.”

“Oh,” he sniffled, kissing the back of my head softly, “I’m so sorry. He was so nice to me.”

“He really liked you,” I nodded, covering his hands with my own, “can… we go down to the beach tonight? I want to do my own little memorial. I have classes starting again tomorrow so I understand Caelan’s point of me not going with them but I have to do something.”

“I was already going to suggest that. Once we have Ranger and Marmalade, we’ll head down to the beach and find a piece of driftwood. Take your pocketknife okay? We can engrave the wood with his initials and birthday then send it off with the tide as the sun sets. What was his favorite food?”

“I have no idea actually. But my grandparents are vegetarians.”

“Hm,” he kissed my cheek before nodding, “I’m a good cook. I’ll head to the store now and get ingredients. I have an idea for a memorial dinner we can have. I’ll cook for us. We can toast him as well with wine.”

“Thank you, Evan.”

“You’re my boyfriend,” he came in front of me, laying his hands on my shoulders as he kneeled on the deck, “I will do anything to make this easier on you.”

“I know,” I whispered and we shared a soft kiss before Evander grabbed his keys and left the townhouse.

I paced around after closing the backdoor, my heart low, the need to keep myself busy filling my brain. In my pain, I threw myself entirely into cleaning and getting things settled for my semester to start tomorrow, waiting for Evander to come home or Caelan to arrive with Ranger and Marmalade.

I was in the middle of reorganizing the office when the doorbell rang and I ran downstairs, throwing the front door open to find Alexander, “hey Matua,” I sniffled, hugging him tightly.

“Hey. Thank you,” he kissed my forehead as he passed Marmalade’s carrier over, Ranger sitting at his feet, “Your dad can’t drive right now, he’s mentally all over the place. It took forever to get him to even stand up, let alone pack. He’ll be gone for a few weeks. I’ll be back in two, I can’t take any more time off work. I brought their food too and I’ll make sure to send a little extra money to your account in case you need to get them anything. If, for whatever reason, either of them needs to go to the vet while we’re gone, call me and I’ll cover the cost of that. I pay all your bills right now after all,” he laughed sadly, “sorry. When I lost your grandparents, Remi and Teddy became surrogate parents to me. This sucks.”

“I feel the same way about you and Caelan so I can’t imagine how I’ll be in fifty years when we go through this for you,” Evander called from behind Alexander as he came up to the porch, his arms filled with bags, “we’re here, Alexi. Anything you guys need.”

“Thank you, Evan. I’m so glad you and Koa met,” Alexander nodded, “I have to get back to Cae now. Evan, take care of Koa for me?”

“You never had to ask. I always will.”

“I believe you.”

We watched Alexander leave before taking the pets inside, Ranger bouncing happily as he always seemed to when I was around him. I laughed softly, scratching between his ears and Ranger licked my shin before he started to explore. Marmalade was meowing loudly from her carrier and I let her out, watching her jump around and sniff things.

“Did Alexi bring any of their supplies?” Evander called from the kitchen as I lay down on the couch, “If not, I’ll go back to the store and get things.”

“He did. It’s in a bag over there. Just need to put Marm’s litter box in the bathroom down here. I don’t want it upstairs, I’d rather our room didn’t smell like cat pee.”

“Alright,” he smiled gently, pulling his silver waves into a ponytail, “Ugh, I need a haircut.”

“Go tomorrow. When I’m at school. I won’t be able to give you attention anyway.”

“Koa,” Evander came over and climbed on top of me, his left knee tucked into the couch cushions, right foot firmly on the ground to stop him from falling, “I know you’re hurting. That’s to be expected baby. I don’t want you to think that I’m dying for your attention right now. I love our time together, but we are two full people who are combining our lives. I’m not dependent on you to be happy,” he kissed me slowly and I wrapped my arms around his waist, a tear rolling down my cheek, “I have my own happiness in my heart. You’re just part of it. I can take pride in myself now. You taught me how. I get to be part of a real family, not just my brother and Queenie. I got to meet Remi and that means so much to me. I would have been devastated if I hadn’t. I know how important your family is to you and that means they’re important to me too. You be sad as long as you need to be. I’ve got us.”

“I’m not used to this,” I whispered, studying his face and Evander smiled gently, “Beau was fully dependent on me. I couldn’t do anything if he wasn’t involved.”

“That’s not something you need to worry about with me, Koa. I’m okay doing things alone. There’s a lot I prefer to do by myself honestly. Getting my hair done, shopping for hygiene products, and seeing the doctor. I don’t really want you along for those things. It’s not you. I just want to know I can do it by myself. We may be a couple, but we both have to have our independence so that we don’t lose ourselves in our relationship.”

“For someone who has never done this before, you sure know what to do,” I laughed, snorting when Ranger ran over and licked my cheek, “Ranger!”

“It’s nice having them around,” Evander giggled, patting Ranger on the head, “I’m going to start dinner. Can you do something for me?”

“Sure, baby.”

“Go shower. Shave your beard off. Take some time for yourself. You need the time to process losing Remington without anyone around.”

“Do I really have to shave my beard?” I pouted, making Evander scowl.

“That was our agreement and you refuse to use the beard oil I got you.”

“Fine. But kiss me first.”

Evander smiled and leaned down, kissing me slowly as I squeezed him. We sat there for a bit, sharing gentle kisses before he pulled back and pressed his forehead to mine, his eyes tightly shut.

“This is the second happiest I have ever been,” Evander whispered, “I adore you but nothing compares to finally escaping my parents. To having that freedom.”

“I understand. Nothing compares to me realizing I could finally touch people,” my chest was heaving and Evander scooted back, gently rocking his hips, “E-Evan!”

“Sorry,” he laughed loudly, “I could feel it and wanted to tease you a little.”

“Oh you’re so mean,” I spanked him lightly, “don’t do that to me! It’s a hard day.”

“It’s a hard something that’s for sure.”

“Evan!”

“I won’t apologize again. Go shower. I’ll have dinner waiting.”

“Thank you,” I sighed as he slid off of me, “don’t tease me that way.”

“I’m your boyfriend,” he shrugged, rubbing his shoulder gently as there was one small area that was still raw from the new skin that had formed, “I will always tease you. We just aren’t ready to go further yet.”

“I am but I know you aren’t and I will always respect that.”

“Thank you,” he kissed my cheek before humming gently and going around the island that separated the living room from the kitchen, “Are you going to be annoyed if I play music while I cook?”

“Not at all. Do whatever makes you happy, Evan. It’s your house too.”

He giggled and started playing music from his phone, moving around the kitchen as Ranger watched. I stood there for a few moments, enjoying the scene in front of me before heading upstairs to shower and decompress. Evander had been correct, trying to process losing Remington with others around me was difficult.

Once I was alone in the shower, I could feel the tears burning and let them through, crying softly as I leaned against the wall. It took a long time for my tears to finally stop before I truly showered and felt clean. After climbing out, I entirely shaved off my beard, snorting when I saw how young I suddenly looked, and grabbed comfortable clothes, changing before heading downstairs. Evander was setting the dining table, humming softly as Marmalade followed him around, Ranger asleep on the deck as Evander had opened the entire wall to let fresh air in.

“Thank you, baby,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around Evander’s waist, “you take such good care of me.”

“Until you graduate, I’m not working. I’ll be on house duty. I also enjoy doing things like this,” he turned and kissed my cheek before smiling, “Oh. So smooth. I love it.”

“I’m not sure how I feel but I can understand it bothering you when we kiss. What did you make?”

“A salad with berries and pecans, cucumber soup, roasted asparagus, and a tofu poke bowl. It’s too hot to use the oven so I focused on things I didn’t need to use it for. Um, I also made lemon posset. That’s made with cream but it works. I didn’t have time to make berry jam so I just bought some.”

“Evan,” I gasped softly, “baby you didn’t need to do this much.”

“Hm? I love to cook. This was nothing for me. Only took about an hour. Even the soup. It just had to chill more than anything. The posset will sit in the fridge until we’re done with dinner. Anyway, I got white wine, that’s refreshing over red, and we can eat then head to the beach.”

“This means so much to me… thank you.”

“Of course.”

We settled into dinner, my eyes wide the entire time for two reasons. The first was that Evander was surprisingly an incredible cook, everything flavorful and cooling. The second was simply that I was proud of myself still for being open to new foods without panicking or acting disgusted if they touched.

“Dinner was incredible,” I sighed happily as we walked on the beach.

“You keep reminding me,” Evander smiled, picking up a long, flat piece of driftwood, “this is perfect. Give me your knife.”

I pulled it from my pocket, handing it over carefully and Evander quickly carved Remington’s initials into it followed by his birthday.

“Alright,” Evander pulled me to the edge of the water and as the sun set I tossed it into the waves, watching it tumble and disappear into the ocean, “goodnight… Papa Remi.”

“Goodnight, Papa,” I whispered, squeezing Evander’s hand tight.