“So I’ve officially declared war on my PE teacher. Not that she knows that.” I grumbled at the end of our lunch table, trying to share my failure of a day with Jacie as quietly as possible. The rest of our friends were sitting close enough to hear if we were to talk normally. 

“My lessons are only inside now. They either get the trampolines out or stick us in front of YouTube videos of Just Dance. No one really participates.” Jacie says, mixing the food in her pasta pot until she can take a bite.

“Wow. Good for you.” I say to her smug smile.

“So, you think it’s Hazel? Is that why you’ve been ditching me?” Dan butted in with his trademark flat face.

I shushed him with my voice and threw a hand over his mouth to really emphasise it. “Shut up, not so loud!”

He slowly pried my hand away, one brow twirled up. “Sorry.” He at least complied.

“You know how fast rumours spread! It’s already super dangerous using my locker now.”

Dan snorted a quiet laugh, briefly checking his phone on the drab, grey table. “You’re right about that.”

My jaw fell open and my cheeks fizzled a pale red as I stared him down. “You’ve seen it?” I ask, slightly mortified. 

Some of the notes have been way too personal or downright embarrassing to show Jacie and Dan, so they–for the most part–have only seen a handful of them. I was listing my sparkling pink locker in the same off-limits category as those notes! So to find out Dan had somehow seen it was mortifying!

Dan sat up a little straighter. “How could I not? It’s right next to mine. And blinding.”

This pulled Jacie into the conversation even further. “Wait, what? What happened to your locker?”

“Nothing! That’s not important anyway! I need to figure out how to get to know Hazel more so I – to answer your question, Dan – can figure out if he has been writing the notes or not!” I said, fighting to keep my voice low and my arms from expressing the annoyance these two were giving me!

Alas, my efforts were briskly scooped up and thrown harshly back at my face when Josh turned away from the rest of the group to face us. “You’re getting to know Hazel more?” He asked.

I stared at him blankly, my arms pulled rigidly to my sides.

Jacie was quick to step in, nonchalantly waving her hand while she took another bite. “For a project they’re struggling with.”

I nodded along, unable to ease my limbs. “Yep. It’s just soo awkward right now.”

“Ew, you have group work in the middle of revision classes? Why does this school hate us?” Josh replied, blissfully unaware of the truth, just how I’d like it.

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” I deflate against the cold table.

“The Christmas fair’s coming up, right?” Laura cuts in, perking my ears with her museful voice. “Why don’t you guys all go together? You’d get to know him lots there.” She suggested.

Jacie nudged her shoulder with bounding excitement. “Omg, yes! We should all go to the fair!”

Laura shook her head, “Sorry, I’m stuck taking my little brother to it.” She grumbled, resting an annoyed face on her palm.

“I’m not going to a Christmas fair. What would I do? Go on a kiddy ride and eat candy floss?” Josh grimaced with a shaking head.

“Uhh, yeah. Pretty much.” Jacie nodded.

“Nah, sounds–” He took a swift glance in my direction before shuffling on his seat. “Boring.”

“Uh– Back up, say what you were gonna say!” I demanded, pointing a stern finger his way.

By this point, Laura had turned to the rest of our friends and Dan’s face was firmly stuck to his phone once again. The only eyes I could feel were the amused twinkle of Jacie’s.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything else! Boring! It’s boring!”

“You were gonna say gay!” I accused, watching the sweat begin to build at Josh’s sandy hairline.

“Nuh uh, I would never!”

“Yeah huh, you would! Are you worried we’d find out?” I continued teasing.

He huffed but I’d give him credit. He didn’t turn away from my intense stare. “Find out what? That I have a huuuge crush on you?” He said with the flutter of his eyes.

I held a hand out over Dan, one Josh half-heartedly grasped. “Oh my god, you do?”

“Since 3 minutes ago, yes!” Josh played along.

Jacie started giggling, but I think that had more to do with Dan’s ever-straight face that he’d managed to convey a whirlwind of displeasure on, between Josh and I.

“I’m sorry Josh. But- I can’t,” I pulled my hand away, holding it tentatively to my chest. I closed my eyes with furrowed brows. “I have to ask another boy to the fair with me!”

“You cheat!” Josh accused.

“I know. This is goodbye.” I held in a strangled sob as I stood. “I’ll always love you.”

Josh holds his head down with discontent oozing from his sad shoulders. “Me too…I’m pretty amazing.”

Jacie took a break from her giggles to truly look between us. “What is happening?”

“No– Don’t stop me! This’ll only hurt more!” I throw my bag over my shoulders. “Farewell!”

I took my leave.

As I stepped through the cafeteria door, the drama inflicting my mind and body was washed away and shut behind me. 

I was on the search for Hazel in no time. I knew his friends convened on the third floor during breaks, but what would be my excuse to go up there? I didn’t want to seem like a stalker because what if he isn’t the note-writer? I’d just be showing up all over his life for no reason. He might think I'm creepy!

So I instead paced around the bottom of the stairwell to the third floor, like a different kind of weirdo, trying to walk a solid plan into my stupid brain.

“Elvis? Are you okay?” I froze to the sound of that familiar voice.

I turned slowly, squeezing a smile onto my face. “Hazel, heeey. I’m good. Just- trying to get the blood flowing back into my legs after it froze outside!” I laughed, hopeful to change the subject. 

“Right.” He said with a round, cute smile.

This was my chance. I just had to go for it. “Hey, are you going to the Christmas fair by any chance? If not, me and my friends are going and you could totally join us if you wanted!” I tried, biting my lip the second I finished my sentence to stop more words from pouring out.

He looked slightly taken aback, but his dazzling smile was back on his face after a few gentle seconds. He brushed his blue hair out of his eyes as he bashfully replied, “Sorry, I’m already going with my friends. But if it’s the same night, we could totally meet up! It’d be nice to hang out with you.”

I feel the pressure leave my shoulders. “Yeah, that’d be cool! Anyway, I uh, have to go now! See you at the fair– maybe!” I wave as I leave and boy do I leave. As fast as I can without running.

That went… semi-well. Yeah, okay. Christmas fair is sort of a go!