If I truly wanted to find out if Hazel and my admirer were one in the same, I had to get closer to him! But that's much easier said than done. Because, how do you even get closer to someone you've vaguely known for almost 5 years, but barely spoken to? 

My ideas were dark and cold. 

Until the light flickered on in my head during maths. 

“I find the best way to remember material is to learn it and teach it. That's why this week you'll be grouping up! I'll hand each of you different papers and you'll have to teach each other the subjects of your worksheet.” The teacher declared, holding up a stack of different coloured sheets. His enthusiasm didn't waver to the echoes of groans bouncing off the equation-coded walls.

Uninterested in doing actual work, I was enthusiastic solely about the group part. If I could weasel my way into Hazel's, then I could definitely get closer to him! 

Pretty smooth plan if I say so myself.

When Mr Avineer ordered us to partner up, I was quick to take a seat at Hazel's table. I caught Dan's confused and betrayed look as I flew by, but he would come around when I explained myself later.

“Mind if I join your group?” I asked with what I hoped were pleading, sparkling eyes.

Hazel nodded slowly, looking around his friends for their permission. Finally, he gave me a soft smile and said, “Of course!”

Unfortunately, that's where my plan fell flat. We only talked about work. How do I bring up anything else?!

That's okay, I told myself. I still had PE with him.

Ugh, PE in winter, it's like this school was run by sadistic devils who get off on our bleak suffering. 

I tried to wear my shorts as low as I could without them falling, desperate for the extra few centimetres to warm my thighs. It didn't work much, stood on the damp field with my breath swirling in front of me in clouds that almost turned to ice. At least snow didn't cover the ground anymore.

“Okay, it's lap time! I know you all hate running, but it's important to get your cardio in! And it'll warm you up too!” The PE teacher yelled across the grass, out from her huge, fluffy-rimmed hood. Easy for her to say.

But Hazel liked running, he was good at it and spent no time grumbling away like the rest of us. Maybe this could give me another chance to get closer to him. 

He set off with the teacher's whistle, taking the front spot in no time at all. I took it as competition, though my stamina sucked more than a Roomba stuck on some dog's fluffy tail. 

The cold definitely helped: it slowed most people down, persuaded others from even bothering at all and I soon broached second place, jogging like my life depended on it.

We came towards the finish, Hazel paces in front of me running like there was no easier job than this. I felt my lungs starting to burn, my throat hurt from the cold air hitting it with my heaving gasps. But I pushed on.

I widened my strides, ignored the pain in my legs, and ran faster. For a second–an awe-inducing, utterly shocking second–I was in first place! I passed by Hazel, catching his widened eyes, his raised eyebrows and the turn of his head.

I breathed out with a huge smile. A new feeling burned in my chest, the swirls of pride! 

The world almost stopped to view my accomplishment, I felt the air slow around me. Everyone's eyes were watching, the sky suddenly got brighter. 

But then time caught up.

Hazel sprung forward, rushing past me and darting ahead with an almost visible gust of wind booming behind him.

He made it to the finish as the teacher declared, “And that's your final lap! Congrats Hazel!”

I came to a slow stop at the end and received similar praise from the teacher but it felt grim, undeserved. I lost. And all I had to show for my efforts were the gasps of air I was taking, completely unflattering, as I held my knees.

“I didn't expect to see you at the front!” Hazel cheerily said by my side. I shot up, a little startled. He looked completely unfazed, as if he hadn’t run 5 laps and raced me at the end. How unfair!

“Neither… did I,” I said around heavy breaths.

“That was so fun! I haven't had a good race in a while. But, you should maybe pace yourself next time.” He said with a sheepish smile.

I waved him off, forcing an airy laugh. “I'm fiiine!”

“Then we should do this again next time we're out here. I can go easy on you.” He offered, a little too proud.

I gave him a brief glare. “I hope we're never out here again.” I pulled my arms close, wrapped them around my shivering shoulders, “ I think I'm getting hyperthermic.”

The teacher tutted as she passed by, definitely rolling her eyes. “You kids are so dramatic! It's barely 5° out.” She muttered as she cleared the cones that were set up around the finish line.

My face was scrunched up in displeasure, thinking about how my fridge back home was almost 5°. We're being treated like meat, refrigerated and ignored on that bottom shelf until we're useful. Stupid school.

Oh, and would you look at that! The teacher had distracted me from my purpose! Hazel had already descended the banking, walking hastily towards the changing room with his shivering friends.

We barely had a conversation! I learnt nothing. Nothing that could tell me he for sure is the note writer.

Ugh, I hate PE.