JESSIE

The next month dragged by slowly. All I did was sleep, eat, and read the occasional book Luc had picked up when he visited the surface. The days were a bit longer here, by about three hours, but it hadn't been something I had noticed very much working myself to death back at the base. Patients were always coming in and out, and even when I was asleep my body had been tense, aware that at any moment I could be shaken awake to attend to a medical emergency.

The few days I had spent out by myself after exile had felt surreal. I spent most of my day walking, sipping slowly at the water, and taking negligible bites of stale bread that made me more hungry than satiated. I hadn't been able to sleep either, even with the knowledge that there was barely any wildlife to be a threat.

I knew that after the military had seized 70% of the settlements, the 30% that self-governed had been cut off from what had been left of the resources after the crash. I knew that there were people who wandered, and I had been afraid of the possibility of bumping into someone hostile. I wasn't a fighter. I didn't have it in me at all, but I was a man — and it was something expected.

I remember the first time Charlie had hit me. He was taller and larger than me, but still, he had winched back as if expecting me to retaliate, and in the span of a few seconds it seemed like he had realized that I wouldn't — that I would never. That he could pound me to the ground and I would be frozen in fear. I'd made myself a free-for-all — an easy target.

I wasn't sure why I couldn't — didn't fight back. My counselor had said that it must be a learned helplessness thing from childhood. I'd grown up in a family where being hit was being disciplined. You sat still and let it happen, and even when I had grown bigger than my parents — stronger than them — I had still let it happen. It was hard to explain the numb feeling that set in right at the beginning of arguments. It was hard to explain how slowly my mind shut down as I waited for it to begin.

I knew how to use a gun. It was part of my training, but deep down I knew I would never pull the trigger. It didn't matter what happened to me.

"Jessie... Cold?"

I turned in the darkness, staring at Luc before shaking my head. We spent most of the time he was at the cliff curled up in his nest together, and sometimes I would teach him a few words. The nest was more comfortable than it had initially been. There were a few more blankets that Luc had gotten from God knows where, and even a pillow that I currently had pressed under my head. I adjusted it a bit, reaching out to touch Luc's face. His eyes closed as a soft purr erupted from him.

We'd gotten into a routine. Often we would wake up together, and have something to eat, and then Jessie would fly off to God knows where. Initially, I had taken to doing my toilet business, by simply standing or crouching over the edge, but the grim and dirt on my skin had started to bother me a few days in. The saltwater cloth baths Luc had weren't enough, and neither was the act of him licking me clean like a cub in a litter with his tongue.

We still touched... but it didn't go past hand jobs and blow jobs, and with the hygiene situation for now, I wasn't keen on experimenting. I was a stickler for that even when I'd had 24/7 access to a hot shower and douching back on earth.

I had almost teared up in celebration when Luc came to understand that I needed to be in a body of water. He seemed hesitant. Practical, given how he had found me in the first place, but he had gathered me in his arms and flew me to a hidden shallow hot spring. He did that every few days now, and I made do with whatever sanitary products showed up in the stash of human items Luc brought to the cliff. He'd even found shoes my size. I had shaved a couple of times — anytime I had found an unused razor that wasn't rusted, but my hair kept growing. I had cut it once by simply holding it in a bundle and chopping off the end to return it to nape height. It probably looked awful.

I spent a lot of my time reading when he was away and sometimes going through his items. The highlight of my days was when I heard wings flapping. It meant Luc was back, with trinkets, dead animals, and weird fruit. Sometimes he brought seeds and root vegetables that I could have when he took me to the surface for baths. I made small fires with a lighter I had nicked from one of the bags, and was able to have something that wasn't crop milk, strange cliffside dried meat jerky, or fruit.

I taught Luc more words, and I learned the meanings of more of his words even though I couldn't say them back.

Towards the end of the month, it had started to rain — constantly — every couple of hours. It didn't matter how many blankets and furs Luc had in the nest, it was still cold. In a jumble of disjointed words, Luc was able to express that he had to move soon. I assumed this was where he stayed for the dry season, and he had a more secure location during the rainy season.

We slept for a bit more before Luc got up. This time he didn't simply fly off like he usually, instead today he was clearing his rock slab table, pushing things into baskets and bags he secured to the walls and ceilings. I sat up on the nest, watching him put aside my backpack before hurling the rest of the human trinkets to the innermost portion of the cliff walls. I raised a brow, getting up.

"Today?" I asked, strolling over to him. He looked up from the bag he was tying up, then nodded.

"Yes."

I nodded at that, moving to make sure I had the things I wanted. I wondered what his other nest looked like. It wasn't as if he could explain it to me. I made sure I had all the rations, a couple of clothes, two books, soap, and a blanket. I didn't need much else, knowing Luc he would make me an impressive hoard of human items in a couple of days. I zipped up the bag, throwing it over my shoulder before waiting patiently for him to finish. The only thing he brought along was stuff that could fit into his belt bag. He walked over to me, pulling me to himself until I was flush against him. I wrapped my hands around his neck, and he lifted me before walking towards the edge of the cliff.

The first time he had flown me down while conscious, I had been on the edge of hyperventilating, and just like then, he had soothed me by running his hand over my hair and cooing. His chest occasionally reverberated with purring, and before I could comprehend what was happening he would take off, kicking harshly against the edge of the cliff as he launched us downwards. I noticed that when he made his way down he rarely flapped his wings, he mostly glided through the air, only flapping to change directions or hover in place as he made a decision.

I watched the scenery below us, watching the rows of mountains, valleys, and empty stretches of leveled ground. It was then I narrowed my eyes at a particular landmark below, as a feeling of familiarity crept up on me. The valley looked familiar, and that was quickly confirmed when the crash site of metal came into view. I balled my fist in Luc's chest and he seemed to notice, pausing mid-air as he flapped his wings to keep us afloat. He looked down, following my gaze, and a distressed sound echoed through him.

"Down," I said, feeling my breath catch. "Down. Please."

I wasn't sure why I was desperate to see the crash site after all these years, but a part of me was desperate.

Luc made the nervous noise again. He squeezed me close to him, but he did start making us descend towards the crash.

"Thank you," I mumbled, giving him a reassuring smile as I buried my face in his chest.

When Luc's feet touched the ground, I felt like my heart crawled into my throat. He placed me down gently, stepping aside so I could look up ahead.

I stared at the crashed starship, mostly in awe of its size. I'm not sure, but in the past six years, I had almost forgotten how huge it had been. It was a mini city, housing tens of thousands of people — and for a little more than half of those, this was their graveyard now. Luc churred at my side, making me turn to my side to look at him. I smiled a little, but it mustn't have been convincing enough to get him off my case.

His hand settled on my head, running his finger through my head. "Jessie, okay?"

"No," I answered honestly, staring a the rubble in front of me. Some parts of it were rusting. The yellow-green painting wearing off to expose the blue-black metal underneath. I part of me tried to remember where we had exited from, but it had to have been using a stair attachment that had been pulled apart years ago.

Luc pulled me into his arms, and my back pressed against his chest. He stared at the rubble with me, nuzzling my hair. "Closer?" he asked, softly against my ear.

I nodded. "Yes."

It didn't take another word for Luc to take us up into the air, he flew closer to the starship, finding a crater-sized hole in the ceiling before flying closer to it.

Luc lowered me into the starship, and the sound of the soles of my boots hitting the floor echoed through the hallway. I looked about, as memories of this hallway on fire filled my mind. My lips were in a thin tight line as I came to terms with the fact it was just rubble and charred metal now.

I wandered through the corridors, and Luc followed me, his dragging wings making a sweeping noise as we moved through the chambers. The air in here smelled stale and sterile, despite the years of dust accumulation. Many of the corridors were dead ends, leading to heavy metal doors that no longer opened. Like I had done when I had woken up all those years ago, I avoided looking at the cryo chambers, even though now, most were empty, or the people in them were nothing more than bones.

Luc churred behind me. He sounded nervous. My eyes softened as I looked back at him, watching his eyes dart across the steel-rounded walls. He didn't know what any of this was. It must have all looked bizarre, I reached out to hold his hand, and he looked at me, immediately purring. My heart swelled.

I—

I wasn't exactly sure what we had, but there was an affection there, and I cared about him. I didn't want to stress him out. I squeezed his hand.

"Okay?" I asked, and he seemed to think about it for a while before nodding.

"Yes."

We continued down the corridors, sometimes making turns into open rooms. Offices, storage units — the medical supply closet. I examined that one, checking for any properly sealed medication that could still be handy. Only a small number of the ship's inhabitants were awake during the journey, and not even at the same time. It was mostly support staff, engineering, and various military personnel.

My eyes darted around in interest when I noticed we were in engineering. There was more rubble here than at the center of the ship, and the floors were sloped at an angle. It seemed the starship had landed nose-first on its side. I slowed down when we were at the command center, taking my time to look at the now-dark screens that covered almost every surface of the room. Once upon a time, there would have been close to twenty people here, doing nothing more than making sure the star ship's manual piloting didn't shit bricks.

My brows furrowed a little as I crouched by the captain navigator's seat. I knew where the black boxes on spaceships were. It looked like this one was torn out. I stood up, walking towards where the more archaic controls were — locked in the back. A collection of different colored wires plugged into a manual switchboard The door to them was jammed open with just enough space for me to slip in. I bent down, locating the hatch I knew the backup black box would be. It opened and...

It was empty.

I raised a brow, slipping past the door again. Luc stood by the door to the command center, churring occasionally when my leg made contact with a stray bit of metal.

"Just a bit more," I mumbled, giving him a reassuring smile as I continued my inspection of the command center. I used to know a man in engineering. I wasn't close to him. I just called him by his last name — Zhang. All of us had our names and departments printed onto our suits. He used to go and on. He loved what he did. I tried to shuffle through my memories of him.

Focus.

There was a reason I was remembering him now.

"Even the backups have backups," I remember him saying with a shrug when someone had asked what would happen if the life support's backup system gave away.

"Even the backups have backups..." I muttered to myself, wondering if this applied to the black box. I walked around aimlessly for a bit, trying my hardest to think. It could be in a different room.

No.

My eyes went wind as I contemplated if my guess was right. The captain had a copy, and so did the manual pilots. The primary driver of the ship was the AI core. I walked over to the central pedestal in the room. The clear column wedged between opaque mental would have once glowed flickering whites, blues, and reds to show the status of the AI. I bent down, inspecting the metal holds for a hatch.

I found one — small enough to miss. I pressed on it like the back of a clock, and it popped open exposing a cylindrical device. I took it out, standing up, and pressing a series of buttons, pushing past all the nonsense flight log as I tried to tune in for the last moments. Who knew if the battery even still worked—

"We're in the middle of an ionic storm!"

Jeff, the ship's main pilot. I remembered his voice.

"Everyone in navigation needs to be marched down to the main lobby too, commander's orders." A gruff voice said.

"We're going to die if someone doesn't fly this," a young man's voice shot back.

There was a sigh, and then laughter from what I assumed were other officers. "You can get back to checking on the autopilot after the coup. Now, hands up, and file out."

"Autopilot? We need to manually fly this! Ionic storms and solar flares weren't on the menu when the flight path was programmed—"

"Everyone awake has to be marched to the main lobby to recognize the power exchange. Commander's orders—"