(July 16)
Matsu's confession felt like a dream. Is this really happening? Am I awake? But our lips against each other were real. His warmth against me is real. The words out of his mouth are real. But... What do I do? This wasn't in my plans. I wasn't supposed to get so close, and definitely not have one of the boys confess to me. I'm... conflicted.

He seems to realize. "Ah... S-Should I not have said that...?"

"No... I..." I have to let go of him and sit up, facing away from him. What do I want? What do I really want? I've been avoiding my inner desires. But is it fine to act on them? Is that what I truly want?

He sits up. "D-Did I... offend you...?"

"No, of course not!" I quickly turn to him. Then I look away again. "I just... thought I shouldn't get close to anyone here... I thought... It was what I wanted... But... I think I like you too, Matsu..."

He gently places his hand on my shoulder. "I-Is it so bad... to get close...? I-It seemed to me... you w-wanted to be close... Isn't that w-why you're so nice and you're caring f-for me...?"

Is that true? I wanted to get close? I just... Maybe I just... genuinely care for him and wanted to help... so getting close like this was just an added bonus...

I turn to him again. "Is it alright that I like you?"

He quickly nods. "I'd r-rather you like me back than n-not..."

"Is it alright that I've found you cute from the beginning?"

"H-Huh...? Yes, that's a-alright..."

I lean closer. "Is it alright that I find your skin pretty and that I want to touch it?"

He blinks. "Y-Yes..."

"Is it alright that I have dirty thoughts about you?"

He turns pink. "Y-Yes..."

"Really??" I get even closer.

"A-Akiara... Y-You're embarrassing me..."

"Sorry..." I move away. "I don't want to taint you, but at the same time, I do..."

"T-Taint...?" Matsu asks. "I-If you mean what I t-think you mean... I'm not a v-virgin."

"What!?" I snap my head back to him.

"I-I've already done it plenty o-of times with my homeless b-buddies..."

"WHAT!?" I raise my voice. I can't believe it... He seems so pure and cute... But he's not!? WTF!?

"I-I'm sorry if you're disappointed..."

"I'm not! I'm just shocked!" I grab his hands. "I want to do it with you!"

Matsu blushes. "W-Well... I do t-too..."

I'm dead. I've died and gone to heaven. Matsu has already purified me even if he isn't actually pure himself. His smile is enough. Now I'm going to heaven.

Then I remember. It's early morning. Even if I want to strip him down right now, I shouldn't. I have to get our breakfast and show my face to Yuuma or he'll come to see if we're alright. I must control myself... I bump my head into Matsu's.

"Tonight. I'll have you tonight," I say.

He nods. "Okay..."

Then I leave to get our breakfast, feeling like the happiest man on earth. I really feel like I'm walking on air. I've got a cute boyfriend that I'll get to do it with tonight. It's been a while... I'm way too excited.

I'm too restless the rest of the day. I have to keep taking Matsu on walks because I can't sit still. I wrench myself away from the shower before I jump in with him. Then I try to go on another walk when it's close to dinner. But Matsu seduces me with a glance. I have to kneel on his bed as he wraps his arms around my neck. Our lips meet. He opens his mouth, wanting a deeper kiss. I grab his hips and stick my tongue inside. Wow... He's cute... But sexy... I can't take this... I want to shove him down now...

Then a knock on the cabin door makes me jump out of my skin. We quickly untangle from each other.

"Hello? Can I come in?" Ana asks, opening the door anyway.

Matsu sits up in bed, his best smile on his face. I fall back and sit on the edge of my chair, almost falling off. I correct my position and show Ana my best smile too.

"What's up?" I ask.

"I decided to bring dinner to you guys instead of Akiara coming to get it! I wanted to check on you, Matsu, personally," she explains. She hands us our food. She's acting normal so she probably didn't notice something was off. Hopefully.

"T-Thank you..." Matsu says, receiving his food. "I-I feel a lot better."

"I'm glad!" she says. "Sounds like you may be all the way better. Akiara can go back to his cabin and Hisashi can come back here tomorrow then. Yuuma wanted to make sure you were all better before everything goes back to normal. You feel fine enough to join everyone in the daily routine tomorrow, right?"

"Ah... Y-Yes..." he replies.

I'll go back to my cabin tomorrow? Hold on... That seems too soon... I want to stay with Matsu longer. Matsu shares my look. But if he is all better, he doesn't need me to keep caring for him like this... We can just meet up at the cafeteria from here on. But I wanted to be alone with him a bit longer...

"Great! Enjoy your dinner!" Ana leaves.

There's silence. We're both solemn.

"I guess... This couldn't last forever..." I say.

"Y-Yes... But we'll s-still see each other e-every day."

"But there will be zero alone time from here on," I pout.

"T-Then... Let's at l-least make the most of t-tonight..."

He's blushing. He's so adorable... Let's eat quickly so I can have my way with him. We both eat as fast as we can. Then I run the plates back to Ana so hopefully there aren't any more interruptions. He seems a little nervous when I get back. Didn't he say he's done it "plenty" of times with his buddies? But I'd be lying if I said I didn't like that he may be nervous for the first time with me...

[]

Afterwards, we lie in bed together. He cuddles in my arms. So nice... I don't want tomorrow to come... I just want to be in this moment, forever, with him.

(July 17)
Tomorrow comes anyway. We're awoken by the whistle. We try to wake up. I look at Matsu and he looks at me.

"Are you ready to go to the cafeteria together?" I ask.

"Yes..." he nods.

Once I leave this cabin, I'm not sure when or if I'll be able to come back. There has to be some way we can meet alone... but it seems a bit impossible... Hisashi will be back here and it's not like I can ask him to leave again. I hope I can figure something out... eventually...

Matsu and I get ready for the day and head to the cafeteria together. When we get there, I'm a little unsure where to sit. There's the table I used to sit alone at. Or there's Matsu's table he used to sit alone at. Or... There's a table that no one has been sitting at. I feel like it might just be perfect. I sit with Matsu at the table in front of the one that used to be mine, yet now this new table will be mine and Matsu's. I smile at him as he sits on my left.

Then I notice someone else has sat across from us. Hisashi smiles at us as if he knows something.

"Good morning~ I hope you're well, Matsu~" he says.

"Y-Yes, I am... Thanks..." Matsu nods.

"Good, good~ It'd be bad if you still weren't feeling well and had the fun you two had last night~"

I go stiff. What... Huh... He really does know something!? Wait, calm down... He can't know for sure until I admit it...

Hisashi meets my eyes. "No need to try and hide it~ I already know~"

"How!?" I can't help but exclaim. But then I realize I was too loud and now everyone's staring. I silently glare at him.

"Hm... How, you ask?" He looks as if he's thinking. Then he smirks and taps his nose. "Did you know I have a great sense of smell? And I can smell it on you now~ Both of you~"

"What the hell..." I say. I call Kentaro a dog, but Hisashi is the true dog. Or maybe... the wolf. Like his badge.

As if to save us, Ana appears and gives all three of us our breakfast. She beams and then goes back to the kitchen. I pretend I'm too focused on my food to listen to Hisashi's nonsense. But then I really am too focused on the food because it's as delicious as ever.

I thought I'd just get to sit with Matsu now, but Hisashi joins us each time too. Why is he doing this... Is he trying to torture me since he knows what we did last night? I still don't get how he knows still?? Why is it any of his business either?? Maybe it's because he's a pervert who has to know everything. Ugh...

I enjoy the day with Matsu as we go through each activity. I keep finding him cuter and cuter. We did it last night, but I want to do it again. I'm so sad... Will we get a chance again soon??

During the bonding activity with Kentaro, he's quiet. He doesn't seem to be in the best mood. He almost looks tired...? I decide to leave him alone and we don't really talk.

When it's the end of the day, Yuuma stops us from going to our cabins.

"Now that Matsu is all better, I wanted to host a celebration," he explains. "Please come with me outside."

Yuuma leads the way and we follow. He goes left out of the cafeteria, passes by the laundry room and the cabin where he and the others in charge stay, and down a pathway. It leads to a lake. He asks us to stand and wait for a moment. He then goes out onto the stone dock and kneels down. There's glowing light and something shoots into the sky. The night sky is lit up with crackling color. Fireworks....?

He comes back to stand next to us. We watch the fireworks display in the sky, not being able to look away. How nice... I feel like it's been a while since I've seen fireworks...

"This month is July," Yuuma suddenly says. I look at him while he stares at the sky, the light dancing in his dark brown eyes. "We couldn't have fireworks on the 4th, but I still wanted to. So I'm glad we can do it once Matsu is feeling better. I hope you all don't mind the camp too much, even though you're here against your will. I want to make it fun if I can."

Fun... Truthfully, the camp isn't bad. It hasn't been the most fun, but we just have to endure it. Although, Yuuma seems sincere, and surprise fireworks are nice. Maybe I'll try and see the camp as fun for now.

Once the display ends, we help clean up the used fireworks. Then Yuuma lets us go to our cabins. I don't want to have to leave Matsu. We've been connected at the hip for about 2 weeks. Our relationship is new and still fresh. I don't want to part ways tonight!!

I hold Matsu's hands, sad. Matsu understands and holds my hands back, tightly.

"I guess I'll just have to see you at the cafeteria in the morning..." I say.

He nods. "W-We can spend every day t-together..."

I nod solemnly. "But it's not enough..."

He leans down, since he's taller than me, and gives me a peck on the cheek. He beams. "M-Maybe we can find t-time again another n-night."

"Right..." I really hope so. Would Yuuma even get mad if we switch cabins on our own for a little bit...? But there's still the problem of Hisashi having to leave so we can be alone. It's too soon, I'm sure Kentaro and Gin are glad to be rid of him after so long. I'm not sure how it went while I wasn't there...

I have to let Matsu go and he enters his cabin. I just realize Hisashi is the only one who hasn't gone inside yet. I turn to him.

He smiles. "You know, Akiara... I'm glad you became close with Matsu, despite your efforts to keep a distance from everyone."

Huh??? He... He knows....?? Seriously, what is up with him... If he spied on me and Matsu last night, then I could see how he knew what we did when he said so this morning... But I've never said my intentions out loud. How does he know?? Was it that obvious?? I thought I was hiding it... But maybe not...?

"No need to look so shocked~" He comes closer. "I can just tell these things. But now that you have Matsu, you'll stop being a stranger, yes? I want to be close with you too~" He moves next to my ear. "Won't you have sex with me too~?"

I step away. "No way. I have Matsu."

"Hm... But having only one partner is no fun, is it? You can have me too if you just ask for it~ I'd like to try it out with Matsu too~ Was your time with him good?"

Sure I've found all of the boys here attractive to some degree... And I didn't expect to start a relationship with one of them... I'm still getting over that... But having more than one partner?? Like polygamy?? Or wait, polyamory?? It's... strange... But when I think about the other boys and having relationships with them too, it's a nice image... No, what is Hisashi putting into my head!? And would Matsu even be alright with that...? I don't even know what to think right now...

I look away. "I'm not talking about this. Good night." I then walk away and to my usual cabin.

As soon as I step inside the cabin, I realize it's been a while and it's a little awkward. Kentaro and Gin look at me. What should I do...? Say something...? But what do I say...? Do I even need to do anything...? But the awkwardness is kinda suffocating...

"I'm glad Matsu is finally better...!" I start. "And um... How were things here...?"

Kentaro clicks his tongue and looks away. Did I offend him!?!? NOOOOO.

"It was fucking awful... I despise that pervert," Kentaro growled. I guess I didn't offend him...? Only Hisashi did....?

"What happened...?" I ask, finally stepping away from the front door.

"He kept saying perverted things. Then he climbed into your bed, still acting like a disgusting pervert. I couldn't stop him or I'd accidentally wring his neck..."

"I see... Sounds like chaos..." Scary... But he went into my bed?? Will I have to change my sheets...? If he's that perverted, I'm a bit worried...

Kentaro stands up from the edge of his bed. "I'll dispose of your bedsheets if you want. I'll burn them." He clenches his fists. He's scary...!!!

"It's alright! You don't need to go that far! I can at least change them and Tamiyo will wash the ones he used," I say.

He huffs and sits back down. "Whatever you say..."

Then I get ready for bed, changing my sheets with ones from the closet. The sheets actually don't have any strange stains. Oh well, I'll have Tamiyo wash them anyway.

As I do all of this, I can feel Gin staring daggers into my back. What does he want?? He's being scary too!! If he doesn't say anything, I don't know what he wants from me... Please just let me sleep in peace...