– Good morning, my alpha.

Alex had a sweet smile as he looked down on me, sitting next to me and leaning towards me.

The daylight streaming through the window illuminated him completely. He looked beautiful, like every morning.

I brought my hand to his cheek and he rested his hand on mine, closing his eyes and enjoying my touch.

I tried to say good morning, but my voice didn't come out.

Suddenly, everything went dark.

And I opened my eyes.

I rested my forearm on my forehead and sighed.

I felt my face wet, where the tears had made their way.

That dream kept repeating itself over and over again, and every morning I woke up with my heart aching.

I turned to where Alex, my omega, should be.

Instead, I looked at Daerim's sleeping face. I ran a hand over her cheek and she grimaced.

That brought a small smile to my face.

Every time I saw her, I felt like my soul was complete like I only needed her to live.

But even that wasn't enough, because she wasn't the person I loved.

I wasn't sure if I would ever love her, but she was my partner now.

And she wasn't a bad person, so that didn't rule out that possibility.

I sighed and my gaze was fixed on a blind spot.

With every memory of Alex, his excitement when I came home from work, his smile as he watched me eat what he had cooked for me, his pouting whenever I couldn't pamper him because I was busy with some report, his loving glances that he claimed I didn't notice, his face while I made love to him, every detail of him was engraved in my mind, and they came to me in the form of dreams, and sometimes, they hit me full force.

There were times when I would simply break down, and I was completely broken for not having him by my side anymore.

At first, Daerim was very worried, but as time went by and she saw that the same thing kept happening, she would just put her hand on my back, then hug me and caress my head, as if I were a little child who had lost the greatest thing in his life. 

And so it had been.

I had lost Alex, who was my everything. 

Daerim had been quite understanding with me all this time because she knew I was suffering and tormenting myself every day.

I still couldn't understand how I had been so foolish as to let myself be carried away by my nature, just because fate had brought me together with a person who at that time was a completely stranger.

I had hurt the only person I had ever genuinely loved, and I would never forgive myself for that.

My worst mistake mistake had been that, and then they just came one after the other.

Leaving him on the street completely alone, forgetting the phone in the jacket I left with Daerim when I went to look for him, not calling him as soon as I returned the next morning, nor sending him that message that was still recorded on the phone.

The next time I saw him he was still just as beautiful, but he was hurt.

I was worried, but I couldn't just treat him like I always did, because I had hurt him and I could see it in his eyes, so I just couldn't ask anymore.

I held back the urge to hug him, and as soon as he took my hands and started talking, I felt something break and I ended up crying in front of him.

I thought that was the end of everything, but a few days ago I saw him again, three months after the last meeting. I felt many mixed emotions, I had missed him so much that this time I couldn't help but hug him, and feeling him in my arms again made me feel complete.

But in the end, I ended up saying a lot of unnecessary things because of my selfishness.

One mistake after another.

I took a lock of Daerim's hair and watched it as it slipped through my fingers.

She was sleeping peacefully. I wasn't sure if it was because of my connection to her for being predestined, but I always have the need to keep her close and protect her.

I repeated the process, my mind wandering into memories.

– Matt? 

Daerim's sleepy voice brought me out of my thoughts and I smiled weakly at her.

– Good morning. – Her black eyes looked at me without expression, surely she knew what I had been thinking until now. She raised a hand and wiped one of my tears with her finger. – Sorry. – I apologized because she had to wipe it for me. – Do you want to have breakfast?

She sighed and shook her head. 

– What time is it? 

– It's still early. – I replied after looking up at the clock on the wall.

– Fine, let's stay here a little longer.

She got closer and snuggled into my chest. I put my arm around her and we stayed in that position.

My whole being was screaming that she was the one, only my heart didn't agree.

Half an hour later, I got up and made breakfast. I took it to her in bed and went to take a shower to go to my last day of work.

I said goodbye to her and caressed her belly where my little daughter was.

Before I went home I went out for a drink with some friends, as I did every time the memories of Alex became too much to bear. And it was my last day there after all.

When I came back a little drunk, Daerim walked over to the door and helped me to the bed in complete silence.

This time, she looked different than usual for some reason.

I sat on the bed, staring into space. Daerim leaned over to take off my shoes and I helped her do it, knowing she wouldn't hear me if I told her not to worry. Suddenly, she stood up and placed both hands on my cheeks, lifting my face to look into her eyes.

– Enough. – She looked angry but sad because I could see the tears threatening to come out. – He's not here, and he will never be here again. But I am, we are. – She took a breath and continued without taking her gaze off me. – You can't keep going like this, I don't want to see you like this.

Her lower lip trembled and I felt the urge to stand up and hug her.

– We have already decided to go to South Korea. – She continued. – Let’s just go and start over, please.

What I have noticed all this time we shared together is that Daerim was really strong. I wasn't sure if that was because she was a few years older than me or maybe that's how she was, but she was really mature. And right now, she was holding back her tears as best she could.

Her request to go to South Korea a few weeks ago had been the first thing she had asked me since we met five months ago.

I agreed to do it because Daerim was right, this place tied me to Alex and everything I had experienced with him, and if we stayed we couldn't simply forget everything.

We needed a new place to start, just the three of us. 

I looked down to her belly.

Ever since I met Alex, I had longed to start a family with him.

When we first met, I couldn't believe how a person could be so beautiful. As we talked, I noticed that the beauty he had wasn't just external.

We were just a kids back then, but that didn't stop us from falling in love.

Soon after, I asked him out, and he accepted excitedly and blushed a lot too.

He was finally my Alex, my omega. 

From there, we had practically grown and matured together, side by side. That's why, when I found out about the situation at his house, I decided that I had to take him with me. My parents agreed after a long talk and that's why I started working, just for him.

During all that time, I couldn't believe how he could look prettier every day, so much so that I wanted to lock him away and not let anyone see him, for fear that they would take him away from me.

And in the end, I had been the one who had ruined everything.

I had even imagined us with children running around a big house that I would buy after forming my own company, with enough money so that they would not lack anything.

But now all that was part of the past, moments that were only part of my memories and nothing more.

Now, I had to face reality.

I was going to have a daughter, and it wouldn't be with Alex.

But she is my daughter.

So what kind of father did I want to be for her?

I didn't feel capable of doing anything, and for the first time I felt the weight of my age.

Twenty years old. 

I was only twenty years old, and I started to get scared. I felt like this was all too big for me.

– Matt! – Daerim was frowning now. – I said enough. – She sounded restless, as if she wanted to get me out of the deep, dark, bottomless pit I was in. – I'm here. – She continued. – We are here, so please don't get lost anymore, come back here. Let's just go to South Korea to live a new life, together. Let's become worthy parents for our daughter. I don't want her to see you like this when she's born, it wouldn't be fair.

I watched her, taking in what she was saying.

She was right.

I had been losing everything. My daughter was due to be born in a few months and I hadn't been fully present for her.

What kind of father did I want to be? I wanted to be someone worthy, a father she would be proud of.

I raised a hand to Daerim and caressed his cheek.

– Forgive me, Daerim. – I whispered to her, then lowered my gaze to her belly. I moved my hands to her waist and placed my forehead on her belly, tears threatening to fall. – I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Daddy will do better, I promise. – The sobs didn’t stop. Daerim took my back and let out a long sigh, surely feeling relieved. 

Seconds later, she started sobbing too.

Alex, my lovely omega. 

I have to say goodbye now, because otherwise, I won't be able to give my all so that my future princess has the life she deserves, with a home full of love.

I still love you, and maybe I will always love you, my little omega.

But it's time to say goodbye.