Janus went through my cooking class app, which was all basic, simple step-by-step recipes on what I can and can’t cook out in the field. There were videos on how to use the mess tin, how to set up cooking stations, and videos on simple food that could be made using the ration pacts for up to five people. 

“These are so boring” I groaned, childishly pushing away the tablet.

“Tell me about it; let’s move on to picking out the other beginner instruments that you need to learn to complete the course,” Janus suggested, getting up and walking towards the staircase.

I trailed behind Janus, holding onto my harp as he explained the various kinds of instruments that he had in his collection.

“As someone as light on your feet as you are, I would suggest wind instruments be your first to try out,” Janus suggested.

“Oh yeah, the old biddies also said I should try out wind instruments. They said it was the easiest and cheapest option I had since I can’t play anything,” I replied.

Janus stopped in his tracks. “ What?” he asked and spun around. “ You can’t play anything? Then why did you select this Class? Do you know you have to complete 12 instruments by the end of the next 12 months? That’s an instrument a month!” Janus exclaimed.

I nodded sheepishly. “ Sorry, but I want to be a Bard.”

Janus’ lip turned into a thin line. He turned back and started walking quickly down the spiral staircase.

“Well then, we haven’t got a moment to lose,” Janus said as his tentacles made another appearance, this time reaching over to grab and pull off the glass covering over the instruments on display and remove the instrument on display, handing it to me to try.

“Now be a dear, and let me hold onto your Bone Harp. You must try as many instruments as possible to see what works for you. This is a reed flute; give it a try,” Janus said as he plucked the harp out of my hands and replaced it with a small green-colored lightweight flute. 

Just as I was about to blow into it, the front door opened, and in popped the head of a young lizardian. She had long eyelashes, and her forked tone daintily darted out as if tasting the air before she looked around the room.

“Hi, Ms. Skimmer sent me to ask if you would like lunch sent up. Usually, I’d be taking the New Candidate to the canteen. However, I was told there has been a delay, which means the candidate needs more time with the reporting officer?” Said the lizardian.

“Oh, hello, Elizabeth; yes, Ms. Skimmer messed up due to her delay, and now my briefing has run overtime. Just bring up my usual, and the girl will have the flower salad with the salty chips as a side,” Janus said without even turning to acknowledge the girl.

“Oh! Yes, of course, Mr Scribe,” Elizabeth said; I could distinctly see her scales blush, even from here. “ I am….right away,” She said breathlessly and then disappeared down the corridor; the sound of her giggling echoed in the hall.

“Janus, she-” I started but was cut off.

“Never mind her, play; I must know your skill level before I send you off into the world,” Janus interrupted, expecting me to play the instrument.

I sighed and brought it up to my lip. I sucked in as much air as I could and then blew into the instrument. Immediately, the look on Janus’ face fell.

“Ah, Zero. Your level is Zero. I guess we all have to start from somewhere,” he sighed, and a tentacle rescued the poor reed flute from my hands. 

By the time Elizabeth returned with the food, I had tried a dozen instruments, all with the same abysmal results.

“If you weren’t the only candidate I had, I honestly would have referred you to the acting department. You don’t have a sliver of talent in this. Are you sure you want to keep going down this path?” Janus asked as we brought our food to Janus’ desk. 

“Well, I’m kind of locked in, and you see my harp. Wouldn’t you want to learn how to play it, even if it meant failing the course?” I asked.

Janus nodded in agreement. “Well then, the only thing to do is to make your first three instruments, pluck instruments. I’ll give you a ukelele, a tambourine, a harmonica, and a kalimba. These are all small instruments that won’t get in your way, and you should be able to at least play a tune on them. Once you are comfortable with the ukelele, I’ll get you working on a lyre so that you can work your way up to a harp. Even if your mastery might not be there, you should get a passing grade. After your apprenticeship, you can focus on the development of your harp playing skills with the Bone Harp,” Janus said as he sat down and uncovered the tray cover to reveal a large grilled fish on a bed of lettuce, with a bowl of rice and another bowl of soup on the side. 

I pulled off my tray and found a crisp and fresh bowl of salad with edible flowers and bits of slices of mandarin oranges and prawns. On the side was a heaping pile of fries covered in sea salt and vinegar. 

“Oh my, this looks amazing,” I said, stabbing a fry with my fork. “ How did you know I would like this?” I asked, biting into the crisp and salty goodness.

“Well, I might not have any good social skills, but I have learned many things about the galactic beings from my studies on their culture and their musical instruments, and so, of course, butterflies, known to draw a lot of nutrients from sodium, then to like to eat salty food, and had a predominantly vegetable-based diet, but sometimes like to eat seafood, which is why I ordered the flower salad for you as it has prawns in it for your protein. There is a lot that can be learned from music around the world. Don’t let anyone tell you that your class is less than that because you can play with instruments all day. There is a lot to learn, and you will be far more learned and mature of an Entertainer than those vapid actors that go on to shine in the starlight and then get kidnapped like moths to a flame,” Janus advised, shaking his head as he thought of the other department. 

“Janus, you seem to really dislike them, like a lot,” I laughed, helping myself with some of the salad.

Janus sighed and leaned back. “ It’s not that I dislike them. They are just really annoying. The HODs of the other Entertainment Classes love to lord over me with their vast number of candidates and their high success rates in being able to place more entertainers in high-ranking places in society every year, and they claim that the council should do away with my course. However, without music, there is no dancing or singing. I am the only one standing up for myself here, so I guess I’m bitter about that,” Janus explained. “ Anyway, don’t take it to heart; this is just office politics; just do your best out there, and all will be well,” Janus grinned, happily cutting into his fish.

We ate and chitchatted for about thirty minutes, then washed up in the washroom at the far end of the second floor and returned the dishes downstairs to a food cart outside the door. 

Once back at Janus’ desk, he reviewed some ground rules about the A Points again and reminded me to complete my data privacy course when I had the time.

“Alright, I think that’s everything. Your onboarding is officially complete. Welcome to the Bard Track, Alaina; as your Reporting Officer, please contact me if you have any questions, and I wish you all the best!” Janus said, shaking my hand firmly with his right hand while handing me back my tablet with one of his tentacles. 

“Thank you so much for all your help. I will try my best to learn to play these first four instruments and find the ingredients to fix the harp” I replied, returning the firm handshake, then accepting the tablet and stuffing it into my bag.

“ah…I wouldn’t put it there if I was you. Unfortunately, accidents happen, and the first thing to go is that huge backpack. It’s better to keep your tablet on your personage. Maybe in a vest pocket or a kaki pants pocket,” Janus advised nervously when he saw me packing the tablet away.

“Oh! Right,” I said, taking out the tablet and trying to see where I could slot it.

“Oh! Do you see the little button on the back? Press it, and the tablet folds small enough to put into a wallet,” Janus suggested. 

I turned the tablet over and pressed the almost invisible button on the back. Sure enough, it flipped over and over until it just fit snugly into the center of my palm.

“Wow, it’s the size of a matchbox,” I exclaimed, impressed.

“Yes, it is much more secure like this and capable of withstanding a thousand pounds of pressure. Back in my day, there were certain unsavory practices of apprentice robbing and kidnapping. I’m not sure if your batch still has these issues. However, this will ensure that wherever you go, you will still be in contact with me, even if you are locked in a chamber at the bottom of the ocean. Keep it on you at all times, even when you sleep,” Janus advised worriedly.

I nodded and slipped it into an inner vest pocket. It had compressed into a thin piece of metal, so it didn’t leave an impression when it dropped smoothly into my vest. 

“Alright, I guess I’m set. Is there anything else I need to know?” I asked, picking up and shrugging on my bag.

“No, except take good care of the Bone Harp,” Janus said, picking it up from the desk and handing it to me. “ And don’t die; the worlds you will travel through are strange and daunting, but if you survive, you will be better for it.” Janus smiled warmly.