AMVERY

As Louise watched on, slack jawed with a dopey expression on her way-too-gorgeous face, I got out of the ring. I didn’t care if the crowd completely dumped on this, I needed to recover a bit.

My stomach was starting to hurt from all the kicks Kylie had hit me with. I wasn’t prepared for how much tummy hurting would slow me down, so I took a few at ringside and stretched.

This was part of my master plan to pull out a win. I stretched dramatically, doing jazz hands and the like, dancing around on the sidelines basically.

“Amvery Astrell is taunting her opponents quite obnoxiously!” The Beez said.

“What the hell are you doing?” Louise asked. “Get in there!”

“Lulu, how do you deal with having a tummy ache when you do sports?” I asked as I did some jumping jacks.

“Don’t call me ‘Lulu.’” Louise said.

“Just answer the damn question.”

“Get in the ring and tag out and I will.”

“No,” I said. “And my tummy ache is because of all the kicks, not because I have to go, I’m sure you were gonna ask that next.”

“I absolutely wasn’t.” Louise looked over at Kylie and Mikayla, who weren’t fighting back. This made me more optimistic about my chances.

This was a gamble, but my hope was I could take advantage of a glitch in the game. If I couldn’t, I was about to look like a major idiot. For the glitch to work, I needed to be outside the ring near the barricade separating us and the fans with enough energy built up for one finisher…and to have a weapon, so I grabbed a DFA signature, a lightweight bat covered in DFA logos. They were just under the ring and accessible with a button press in game. I found them in a similar locale in this world, safely packed into a tub.

“Oh my god,” Louise said when I stood up, weapon in hand. “That’s not gonna work.”

“Tsk, tsk, don’t you know your DFA?” I asked as I jogged around. The announcers were on the side of the ring opposite to the entranceway, and I had to stand diagonally to them for this to work.

“This is some impressive stalling.” Graptikulus Krisp said.

“What the heck is going on?” The Beez asked.

Mikayla got down from her spot on the side and approached me. As she rushed to strike, I held the bat out. “Here!”

Mikayla swiped the bat and looked possessed as she swung at my back. I didn’t anticipate how much it’d hurt, and fell to the ground screaming and writhing in pain. My screams were replaced with a hearty cackle soon after, because my plan worked. She just got herself disqualified.

Let me explain the glitch. In DFA, the non-player fighters will get themselves disqualified if you can make them complete certain scenarios. Stand in a specific spot and throw a weapon at them, then they will catch it and smack you with it. As long as disqualifications are in play, the glitch can be repeated endlessly and you gain the same amount of experience points as if you won the match normally. It was cheesing it, absolutely, but if you wanted a quick run or to skip past annoying fights, it was a great method, and now I knew that it worked here. The pain in the back gave me pause for using this method a lot, though.

The crowd reacted like we won the match normally, booing me just like they were supposed to (I was the bad guy after all!). Mikayla and Kylie looked confused about what just happened, but shrugged and went to the back. I rushed into the ring to celebrate. Louise was furious. Before she stormed off, I had to tell her one last thing.

“I Won. Single. Handedly.” I said.

* * *

“What is wrong with you?” Louise asked. “You can’t win every match like that. What if we’re going for championships?”

“Then weapons will be legal. And I’ll just use weapons.”

Louise had cornered me in the locker room (thankfully we were both dressed this time) and had spent a good fifteen minutes chastising me for winning our match.

“You should be happy, you’re 2-0 now and you didn’t even have to lift a finger.” I said. I was happy to not have a losing streak going.

“I don’t want to win because of a glitch.” Louise said.

“Well, if I don’t see any other way, I’m gonna,” I said.

“I also would like you to not exclude me from matches again,” Louise said. “That makes me angrier than exploiting a glitch.”

“Why? Now you’re as rested as if you didn’t have a fight.” I said.

“Because!” Louise snapped, her tail lifting up and slapping on the tile ground with a hilarious ‘plop’ that made me giggle. “Don’t laugh!”

“Sorry, that was just,” I said. I picked up my own tail and repeated her slap. “See? You’re trying not to laugh.”

“I am not,” Louise said. “If we’re going to be a team, I have to actually contribute.”

“Or what?” I asked.

“Or our truce is over,” Louise said. “And I’ll make you regret breaking it.”

When Louise Lumi sent threats my way, it meant she was pretty mad. But I knew she was a softie deep down so I knew it was just an opening to get her even angrier.

“Louise, you know we’re both stuck as a team,” I said. “Why don’t you just calm down and—”

“I am calm!” Louise bellowed. Then she realized how loudly she just shouted.

“Ya don’t sound very calm there.” I said.

She growled. “You are going to drive me—” Louise froze mid-sentence.

Mikayla and Kylie were headed our way. If they heard Louise’s shout, they didn’t act like it. They also didn’t act like they just lost a match for stupid reasons. In the game, the DQ glitch was basically non-canon as it didn’t affect any stories, so I wasn’t expecting either to bring it up.

“Good match out there.” Mikayla said.

Louise looked ready to say, “Was it?” but held her tongue. Her face was still beet red, and she was likely now in an internal war between rage and embarrassment.

“We…definitely have some work to do as a team.” Louise said, her teeth firmly gritted. I loved that I had her so flustered while her favs praised her. “Do you have any advice for us?”

“Well, the plus side is that you’re both talented, and for rookies you have a pretty good grasp on your powers.” Mikayla said.

“But you two have negative partner chemistry in the ring, so that’s one thing to work on.” Kylie said.

“How would we work on chemistry?” I asked.

“Practice?” Kylie shrugged. “A lot of practice? Mikayla and I had a rocky start too. If you’re stuck teaming together, you might as well try.”

I expected Louise to geek out about how well she knew Kylie/Mikayla lore, but she just nodded. She was dorky enough to genuinely get out a little notepad. As if “practice a lot” was something she’d forget if she didn’t write it down.

"Where'd you even get that?" I asked, and the only answer I got was a scowl from Louise.

“The big cage match is soon,” Kylie said. “You’ll be entered as a team, you know.”

“Damn,” I said. I forgot that the oddball partners storyline ruined the […]lash of the Titans match by turning it into a team deal. Well, it was kind of a team thing no matter what you did. But I didn't want the oddball partners storyline mucking it up. Both Louise and I waited to see if they’d say the name of the cage match out loud to settle our debate on that, but neither did.

“Are you settled now?” I asked when Mikayla and Kylie left.

“I’m a bit cooled off, yeah,” Louise said. “Which is impressive considering how infuriating you are.”

“Heh,” I said. “Right back at you.”

Louise rolled her eyes. “I’m going back to my room. Any last things you’d like to get me to shout at you about?”

“Um…” I said. “That party thing’s next, isn’t it?”

“Right…” Louise said.

“You got a date to it?” I asked.

“No, but it’s definitely not going to be you if you’re asking,” Louise said.

The welcoming party for DFA Academy was one of the early major social events in game, taking place right before the cage match event. We’d get to dress up in fancy outfits and attempt to make lots of allies.

“We might have to go together, though,” I said. “The whole team thing?”

“I don’t remember this storyline affecting the welcome party,” Louise said. “That event stays relatively the same no matter which storyline you’re in.”

“True…” I said.

Louise had clearly had enough of my company and left shortly after. I had at least finally annoyed her enough to leave me alone, as I felt like I spent more time with her in the short time I’d been in this world than I had my entire life prior.

The oddball partners storyline had a fair amount left as it ran through two major shows. Two boring months of this storyline. Maybe I could squeeze as much fun from this as I could to make it more tolerable. Getting Louise angry seemed like an easy avenue for fun.