“What is your first language, Misty? Considering you were born 5 minutes ago.” Percy asked, still certain that Misty was a horrible magical abomination he had created in a moment of extreme stress.

“<From the Backs of the Gods of the Dry Meal to the Feet of the Fullest Livers Cry out the Tears of the Forgotten Skies.>” she said in a series of purrs, meows, and clicks.

“...what?” Percy scoffed, forgetting how to hold food on his fork.

“That’s what it’s called.” Misty answered.

Brinkley, still in the shadow of the curtain behind their booth and doing his best to not overhear this conversation covered his eyes with his hands.

“That paragraph you just told me is the name of the language of your people?” Percy asked, trying to piece it together.

“We didn’t talk often, so you took full advantage of it when it came.” Misty smiled. It never seemed odd to her, everyone spoke like this on Earth.

The name had taken generations to coin. It was created so that she could remember the day that her ancient ancestor was fed by a human on the street so she could survive pregnancy and birth her whole pack. It was the memory of a person who maybe never thought of them twice, but had unintentionally fed hundreds of cats from their one benevolent deed.

This meaning was lost on Chay and Percy, who had never starved once in their lives.

“But you speak fluent English.” Chalene wondered. “How fascinating!”

“Well, yeah, Real Language is only for formal occasions. Speaking is loud and can attract unwanted guests, you know how it is.” Misty said as she took a bite out of her meal. Percy and Chalene glanced at each other like two people that did not know how it is.

Misty felt like opening up under the cozy warm glow of the lamp over their table, so she explained further. “English is the human dialect of the street I lived on, so I heard their language most of the time. Humans are loud people.”

Neither Percy or Chalene had ever met a human and they had never before realized they were loud.

“My magical creation…” Percy sighed into his eggs, massaging a pain on his forehead. “This miracle who saved me...is a one-eared she-beast!”

“Percy! Don’t be discouraging!” Chalene piped, patting him on the back. She turned to Misty with the same coached smile. “Now Misty, I’m afraid I’m not religious but all beliefs are beautiful and beneficial, so I am curious and open to your unique culture.”

“No, it’s humans.” Misty said, exasperated, “It’s what we called humans back home, I have a very old language of…”

“Home? You mean you think you’re from Earth?” Percy said, still unwilling to accept that Misty was a real girl. “You talk in Earth cat? Ugh, gross…”

“Earth!” Chalene sighed, “Ah! I see you have an owner! That must be splendid!”

Misty was confused at first by Chalene’s meaning until she remembered that she still wore the collar around her neck that Brinkley had given her. She put a paw over it, worried that maybe they had already seen that the name was clearly scratched on with a claw.

However, Misty wasn’t entirely sure why she felt so ashamed. Every cat in Avurn wore a collar with their name, mimicking the pet collars of Earth. Yet, there was no way that any of them knew a human back on Earth soil, since these were cats who did not even know the sky. 

Even now, thousands of generations apart from Earthern heritage, they still wore it, as if even here they hoped for the warm compassion of a human hand to save them from a lifetime of struggling to survive.

Brinkley wrapped his hand around his napkin, debating his next move. Luckily Misty hadn’t picked up his true scent, he made sure to conceal it. But, he had never expected she would cover her own for some weird reason. It meant he was now completely blindsided.

“It would be so nice to be loved so much!” Chalene cooed, hugging her beige sweater close. “To be taken care of and swooned over!”

“Yeah. It is. It’s nice.” Misty said robotically, her thoughts still on Brinkley.

Misty had never known human love, even though that love was stitched into the name of the pack she was made Queen of. Human love was just children’s stories she heard. That wasn’t to say she hadn’t loved any human and hoped for more, but those feelings were entirely unrequited and she felt lied to about it.

For so many years people had lied to her and told her human love was real. And what good would it do her now in a Kingdom with no humans to speak of?

“But you call them gods?” Chalene asked. There were some pink potted orchids around their booth that framed her like an illustration.

“We don’t really think of them that way. It’s just what our language sounds like. We talk in poems.” Misty explained. “It makes sense when you know what our poems are and what they reference to.”

“Poems?” Chalene mused, her eyes were full of wonder.

“I hate poems.” Percy sighed.

“Yes, so it’s just a phrase. Just a saying, <If the Gods of the Dry Meal Saw us Death Would be...> That’s...that’s what it sounds like.”

In an astonishing moment, Misty realized that was what it sounded like.

“It doesn’t really mean they’re actually gods of the dry meal. And that’s...no...that’s what I sound like? All the time?”

“Oh! But everything you say must mean something! A proper lady must always be aware of what she means!” Chalene lectured, very particular about ladyhood despite seeming really young and inexperienced. 

She was really getting on Misty’s nerves.

“It’s just a saying!” Misty insisted. “Not something I actually believe! Just something people say!”

“But you said it! Oh it sounds so fierce! Death even? I heard the Laquems keep everyone so very quiet down on Earth, it must be frightening!” Chalene scoffed.

Quickly, Percy wrapped an arm around Chalene's shoulder and gently covered her mouth. “Shh! Chay! Don’t talk about Laquems!” He whispered, hugging her close. Even in the quaint little restaurant, he was still a little bit on edge.

“You are right! I’m so sorry. There aren’t any here, don’t worry, Perce.” Chalene told him, tapping his cheek.

“Don’t want to get attacked multiple times on the same day.” He groaned. “I just want to live one damn normal day.”

This perked Misty's interest. She had been wondering about Laquems, which was also the name of the boogeyman from her youth. She assumed cats here didn’t fear them, but perhaps they still did, just in a different way. The rumor on Earth was that Laquems would kill your human and steal you away if you spoke in front of them. But here, where there was no humans to hide your voice from—what could be the danger?

“Why did you come early anyway? Why not take the later train with Clovis?” Chalene asked him.

Percy leaned away from her and went back to his plate to play with his food. It was a cold and irritating response.

“The people love my Boo! They wouldn’t hurt you if you were with Clovis!” Chalene smiled, her eyes sparkling in earnest.

It was then that Misty realized that the two cats in front of her weren’t actually dating. Instead, Percy was only an unrequited freindzoned buddy who was clearly suffering from acute teenage heartbreak. It was unclear if Chalene knew this and was relishing the attention it or did not know this and was in denial about him.

“I’m in a really bad place right now, Chay. If I’m near him or by myself or near you, it’s all just as terrible, all the ways.” He sighed, hiding his eyes from her behind his hand.

“You don’t think I’m your friend anymore?” Chalene asked quietly, Misty feeling a little bit third wheel. (Brinkley feeling fourth wheel.)

“We’ve been friends forever, but we haven’t been...friends...in a long time. I can only make friends with magical abominations. Like Pookie and um, this one I created somehow.” He waved his long fingers towards Misty.

“My name is Misty and I am a real girl.” Misty said squarely, licking her plate despite Chalene’s glare of dissaproval.

“Do I have to make a pentagram or something to send her back? How do devils work!?” He sighed.

“Oh, Devils are human problems. Misty isn’t so bad! I like her quirks. I like her!” Chalene answered as she took the plate out of Misty’s paws so she could not embarrass her further.

A clamor erupted from the front of the restaurant, a shattering of plates and breaking glass broke the cute serenity of the tea room. The beaded curtain became unstrung from it’s strings, and the little crystals scattered across the floor.

One awkward cat stumbled out of the mess, she was wearing all black and her fur was adorned in cute butter colored stripes along her head and tail. The long sleeves of her robe were split, so as she waved her arms, the ribbons of her robe followed like a dancer.

“Speak of the Devil…” Percy sighed.

“Oh my.” Said Chalene, without needing to turn around to know who it was, “Pookie! You’ve outdone yourself!”

Pookie slipped on beads, took down a waiter, and another platter fell, rolling on the floor until it spun in a long loud circular warble that accelerated until it's spin clattered flush with the ground.