The next morning I awoke uncomfortably in my bed, with the worst hangover I have ever experienced. Half of my body was over the side of the bed, fully clothed, and the only thing keeping me from falling off the bed was my body's natural balance. Lazily rolling off the bed, I caught myself before slumping to the floor head first. After a loud thump, I sat up and raised my hand to comfort my aching head before trying to stand up.
“What happened?” I asked myself aloud, as I meandered my way to the door.
As I opened the door to my room, I looked back at my bed to gasp in horrid worry at the sight of Elysif asleep on the side opposite of where I had woken up and in a position that was far less than gracious. There was a slight moment of shock, but I knew that freaking out would wake her, and I did not want to poke that hornets' nest. Of course, we were both clothed, so we couldn’t have done anything that might get us in trouble… I hoped. Stepping out the door, I saw Scott sitting on the couch, with his legs propped up on an end table that he had slid in front of him. In his hands was yesterday's paper, which I assumed he had finally gotten around to reading.
“And how are you this morning?” Scott asked with a shit-eating grin.
“Uh… what happened last night?” I asked with an appropriately worried look, passing off his question while simultaneously answering it.
“You’re probably wondering why Elysif is in your bed? No, you two didn’t do anything, but I did place her in your bed,” Scott replied, as if proud of himself. As he said this, his eyes did not come up from the paper. It was oddly annoying. Normally, his demeanor and snarky jokes weren’t an issue, but this irritated me.
“What? Why?” I asked with a bewildered face, but kept my voice hushed to keep from waking Elysif. He looked up from the paper, finally, only to look at me as if it were obvious.
“Consider it training. When she wakes up, she will probably attack you and ask questions later. I know from experience. If you can escape her, you win,” Scott said, before returning to reading yesterday's paper.
“What do you mean by experience, and are you trying to get me killed?” I asked with an incredibly confused look, my voice still hushed.
“My wife pulled the same stunt on me and Elysif years ago, so I thought I would give it a try. And no, I am trying to keep you from getting killed in the future,” Scott said as if this was a big teaching moment that I was supposed to accept as gospel.
“Your wife sounds like a dangerous person,” I said in an attempt to explain in a roundabout way that he was crazy. However, I failed to account for how dense he was.
“She was considered the most lethal member of the Table for a while, so yes, she was very dangerous,” he said in a matter-of-fact way, completely oblivious to my comments' true meaning. Though, he, like I, was fairly straight forward, so it made sense.
Hearing a floorboard creek behind me, Scott and I looked to see that Elysif was standing right behind me. I jumped in surprise and quickly ran to the other side of Scott, but when I looked at her, she was rubbing her head in the same way I was. Hungover, confused, and a little pissed. With a dizzy meander, she made her way in front of Scott and while loudly yawning, kicked him in the chest as hard as she could without warning. Not expecting a kick out of the blue, Scott took the full force of her kick and fell back with the couch against the floor, creating a loud crashing sound as he smacked the back of his head against the wooden floor.
“You can’t pull off the same stunts your wife did. I can forgive her, but you’re an ass,” Elysif said, before she stepped back and slunk down against the wall. Despite her violent nature, she looked like she wanted to go back to sleep, but didn’t feel like moving any further. Elysif was definitely not a morning person. Hungover or otherwise.
“So what actually happened last night? My memory is very hazy,” Elysif asked with a tired expression as she leaned against the wall. The way she sat indicated that she had no desire to move, but only because moving hurt.
Scott laid on the ground, rubbing the back of his head from where he hit it against the floor. Then got up and put the couch back how it was before. “You all got hammered despite me warning Lou to keep an eye on you and Iscariot. Because of that, I ended up carrying and guiding both of you back here. I didn’t have your key, Elysif, and I wasn’t going to search you, so I put you with Lou as a courtesy, and also as a joke,” Scott explained with a bit of annoyance. It kind of sounded like he wanted some gratitude for not leaving us on the street, or worse, at Mama Louise’s.
“Okay, what about Iscariot?” I asked. He hadn’t said anything about our token senile old man, and I had yet to see him.
“He seduced Mama Louise and spent the night with her.” Elysif and I shuddered at the thought of that as Scott said it. “Oh, and we have a mission,” Scott added.
“What kind of mission? The Table doesn't usually ask you to go on missions. That would be a task for a wanderer like Uncle Compton,” Elysif said, as neither she nor I heard him and Mama Louise talking about this. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe we just weren’t paying attention? I don’t know.
“This wasn’t from the Table, but from Mama Louise herself. She wants us to destroy some Willowisps, and has offered her services to watch the city while we’re gone,” Scott explained.
“Well, I guess I’m going with you two,” Elysif said adamantly and without hesitation. I knew she was just bored from doing nothing but making potions for the past few weeks, but I wasn’t going to tell her no. The more people, the better.
“Huh?” Scott said aloud with a stupefied look.
“Willowisps are rare, and possibly very dangerous, so I’m coming along. You’ll need someone to make sure you don’t die, and I also want to see if there are any special ingredients that I can get off of them,” Elysif stated.
“Okay, fair enough,” Scott replied, as he couldn’t think of a reason for her not to.
“What is a Willowisp exactly?” I asked, as I had no idea what that was. The folklore of a wisp was known to me, but I had never heard of a Willowisp.
“It is a creature of great power that few have records of, due to their rarity and their ability to kill. They are extremely hard to kill. So hard, in fact, that I can count on one hand how many people have seen them and lived,” Scott said, showing a few fingers for emphasis.
“And we’re going to kill one?” I asked uncomfortably, as the more he described this, the more it sounded like a suicide mission.
“No, we’re gonna kill several of them. Now pack your bags,” he said, ignoring my tone, before getting up and going to his room. Elysif and I both sat there in shock at his last sentence, before Elysif sighed and drowsily slumped further to the floor as if it were a soft bed.
“Okay, Lou, you slept in the same bed as me, which makes you my lover. So, as my lover, you need to carry me downstairs to my flat,” Elysif said to me from the floor, as if her reasoning made any sense. If she was going to guilt me into carrying her downstairs to her place, then she needed a better excuse.
“No, it doesn’t,” I replied, before heading back to my room. As I started packing I didn’t hear the door to the apartment open, so I assumed Elysif was still lying there. The longer the silence pressed on, the more guilty I felt. Though, I really didn't want to look back at her. I soon regretted feeling any form of guilt, as while I was busy, she chucked one of Scott’s empty rum bottles at me. The bottom of the bottle struck the back of my head with just enough force that I fell sprawled out on the floor with a rather loud thump. Quickly, the room felt as if it were spinning, and I soon lost consciousness. In the end, I guess I failed Scott’s “training.”
Hearing this, Scott scuttled back out of his room to investigate the loud thump. He saw that Elysif had now stretched herself out on the short couch, holding her head with a dubiously amused but pained grin on her face. It was rather obvious that she had yet to recover from her hangover, as her clothes were torn and out of place, along with her hair. The most obvious of all was her attitude, as she was less energetic, snarky, and merciful. Continuing his tour, Scott peered into my room to see, without showing a single hint of shock at the sight of me passed out on the floor, with one of his empty rum bottles lying close by.
“Quite the sturdy bottle,” Scott chuckled to himself before sauntering into my room, picking up the washbasin beside my bed, and dumping it all over my face. The shock caused me to shoot up in a frenzy, but all I could do was give him a surprised yet annoyed look.
“What the bloody hell was that for, you drunk?” I exclaimed.
He shot me a look as if I had just killed his dog… not that he had a dog. “First of all, that hurt my feelings. Second, you needed to wake-up. We have to catch the closest train out of here and you both still need to pack,” Scott said.
“Well, tell that to Elysif,” I replied, before spraying some of the water that was dripping into my mouth out in front of me.
“Elysif, why haven’t you gone to your place and started packing yet?” Scott asked, like a father who wants to have a conversation about recent actions, but Elysif lazed about her spot on the couch.
“Ugh… I would, but I have the worst headache ever, and Lou refuses to carry me downstairs,” Elysif said with a whiny groan.
“Tell that to the lump on the back of my head, you ass,” I replied. I was definitely not helping her after that. Though our back-and-forth banter sounded more like two siblings having a petty squabble.
“I am surrounded by children,” Scott said under his breath with a shake of his head and a heavy sigh. Ultimately, he decided that he didn't care to argue with anyone, and knew that I would backsass him a lot less. “Lou, carry her downstairs and get her inside her apartment.”
“Can’t I just toss her down the stairs? It would be much faster,” I asked sarcastically, despite actually considering the option.
“... No,” Scott finally answered after looking like he was considering it as an option as well.
“I forgot to mention that I also saved your life, so you should be more grateful,” Elysif said to me from the couch. Now that did make me feel a bit guilty. That, and she wasn’t going to give up on this till I did it. I could just tell.
“Fine,” I said, before meandering over and picking her up, princess-style. Scott, seeing that my hands were full, gave me a hand and opened up the door to let me out of the apartment. The path down the stairs was difficult to handle, as I was still hungover and didn’t feel like I was capable of walking straight. To top everything off, I was also holding a sixty-three-kilogram person in my arms. Thankfully, we made it downstairs without falling. Once I had left the apartment, Scott stood there shaking his head in mild disappointment.
“I swear I have been drinking a lot more since I started babysitting those two… I wonder how many bottles I can fit in my luggage,” he said, before going back to his room and stuffing six bottles of liquor into his suitcase before he couldn’t fit anymore. “This is gonna be a long trip.”
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