I placed my palm over the place where my heart resided and I pushed the base of my palm into my flesh. If I couldn't calm my mind maybe I could force my heart to stop beating so loudly. Not only had I ruined my life last Friday night but I had also managed to redicle my own identity by trying to imply that it was a dare from my best friend. And that had somehow made the situation worse. 

"William!" 

My back snapped, and I raised my eyes to meet my mother's irritated brown ones. She pursed her lips as she slid a business card across the table. I eyed the floral card with trepidation. 

"Flowers, William. I need flowers."

Ah yes, flowers she said, as if I hadn't heard her the first fifteen times. I reached for the card and slipped it into the breast pocket of my shirt. 

"I need to know you can handle this, William. This event is of the utmost importance and how well it goes will determine the season for the whole sporting department."

I gave a nod and my mother's eyes narrowed with disapproval.

"Yes. I can handle this." I reaffirmed, wondering why I was handling decorating arrangements. 

My mother ignored my hesitation and proceeded, "I have already spoken to Mrs Davis. Your Job is to bring the florist here and assist her in anything she needs as she prepares for the gala."

 My mother leaned forward, peering at me through the gap above her glasses she warned, "Do I need to remind you how important this event is?"

 

 Barely holding a squirm back I straightened my shoulders, "No mam."

 

 She dismissed me with a firm and simple, "Good."

 

And with that, I left her office with my heart hammering in my chest for a whole new reason. With my head hanging lower than it should I stepped out into the foyer. Relief finally washed over me as I realised my mother did not know about the snap. 

 

 This small victory gave me the urge I needed to take care of this gala. If I could pull off a phenomenal founders Gala then maybe even the student body would soon forget about my mishap. The relief of course was short lived. 

 

 The founders Gala was a prestigious gala held every year by the university for the sponsors and donors alike. The gala was in all intents and purposes an excuse for the sponsors to check out the merchandise, of course that was not limited to the grounds and the facilities that the school provided.

 

 No, what they wanted to see was the athletes they were paying for. For most athletes the event was a prestigious thing because with the right sponsors your team could be presented with many opportunities. So yes the event was important but was it more important than my impending doom? 

 

 No.

 

 72 hours.

 

 72 hours, that's how long it had been since my incident and the world hadn't ended. Which if you ask me was significantly worse. I squeezed the edges of my leather jacket as I exited the admin building.

 

 "Hey Will," My shoulders stiffened at the familiar voice. 

 

 I turned to look over my shoulder giving Caspian a tight lip smile. Acid, and bile churned in my stomach, Caspian was on the team and most of my teammates had had no qualms showing me where they stood. Some of my teammates were personally offended by my ‘cowardice’ i.e me claiming the whole thing was a dare. While the others refused to state their new found issue with me, it wasn't hard to tell what had changed between Friday and today.

 

 Caspian pushed off the red brick wall, and with a mischievous smile dancing on his lips, he pulled out the cigarette tucked between the corner of his lips. Practically skipping, he made his way towards me and slung his arm over my shoulders. Completely ignoring my discomfort he said, "How's the boyfriend?"

 

 My body froze and I clamped my mouth shut in an attempt to stop the foul liquid rising up my throat. Caspian's smile was brighter than ever and none the wiser. Which made me feel even worse. I gripped the bottom of my leather jacket as I gave him a tight lipped smile. 

 

 "Hi Cas," I said, surprising myself with how steady my voice was, despite the thunderstorm clashing against my rib cage, "Did you need something, I am in a rush."

 

 "Oh," Caspian winked at me and my heart gave an extra nervous thump, "Just wanted to see pictures of your ..."

 

 "Sorry," I cut him off before he said the B word, again, "I really have to go. Sportsmen auction things you know." I tried for a smile but the look on Caspian's face said I had failed. So instead of convincing him everything was normal I shoved his hand off my shoulders and fled towards my car. 

 

 It definitely wasn't good form to run across the courtyard in brogues and a well pressed shirt but I needed to get away from him more than I needed decorum so... 

 

"It was a dare," I whispered leaning against my car moments later.  

A couple of students walking past me turned and I tried my best to give them a wave, with my best, ‘Football Star Athlete’ smile. It didn't help because the two girls ducked their heads and whispered something to each other then looked up at me again.

 They definitely saw the post too.

 

 "It was a dare," I whispered, again, before slipped into the driver's seat. At Least no one at the flower shop would know about my transgressions. 

 

Once again, Flowers. 

My mother wanted flowers and these flowers were turning out to be more treacherous than I expected. They were slowly becoming the thing that would undo all the sticky tape that was holding me together.

‘It is a tradition, William,’ she had said to me when I asked her about it once. Of course then the tradition hadn't affected me because I was on break and in primary school.

Now as a twenty-four year old student, who had practically run away from campus because, well.... we don't need to rehash what I did do we? I didn't like this tradition, more so because I was standing stork still In Front of the door to Mrs Davis' Sunny Smiles and the 6 foot, muscled guy that was behind the counter was certainly not Mrs Davis...

You know how in books or movies they always say it never rains but it pours? Well it was pouring, in fact it was what I thought to be a catastrophic hail storm. As if my life was not already perfectly askew, there was the last person I wanted to see on this earth, wrapping flowers up as if his entire existence was not a threat to my life.