Rogier wasn't the type of guy who showed a lot of affection. Rory didn't mind — although it did make him feel insecure. What had that kiss meant to his captain? It hadn't been a quick kiss or an accident. They had been sitting on the beach for a long time, talking and kissing. Rory enjoyed the moment, not thinking about how they would act once they were among the other men again. Rory didn't feel ashamed of his feelings. After all, he was used to men who were in a relationship. Sometimes, Lee and Mack couldn't keep their hands to themselves, and Mouse and North were another couple that had never tried to hide their relationship. At weak moments, Rory wondered if Rogier felt ashamed of him, although he always tried to silence that little voice. It was bullshit, there was no reason to think like that. Instead, he cherished the moments in which they were both in the captain's quarters. At rare moments, Rogier randomly pushed him against the wall and kissed him with a passion that felt like he'd been waiting for that all day long.
Days passed by while the ship set course for the Southern Islands. Night had fallen and Rogier had asked him to come to his quarter. Like every time he saw the man, Rory's lips curled into a smile and the butterflies flapped their wings enthusiastically. This late at night, they rarely navigated. The last nights, Rory had been writing down Rogier's memories of Emiel, creating a tangible memory of his deceased brother. Although he was used to overdo stories, he made sure he stayed close to the truth when it came to Rogier's family. He didn't want to devalue the truth that meant so much to Rogier.
Rogier was sitting in his large chair, taking him in with sharp eyes as Rory entered the room. The look in his eyes heated up his cheeks, making him aware of every move he made.
"You want me to tell you a story?" Rory asked, searching for the reason for this invitation. "Or do you want me to write down your story?"
"I want you to sit with me."
Oh. Rory had no idea where the sudden shyness was coming from, but he timidly bit his lip and walked over to the man, slowly lowering himself on his lap.
A rowdy smirk crossed Rogier's lips before he bent his head and kissed him. Eagerly, Rory kissed him back. His heart made a row of flip-flops — he still wasn't used to these heavenly kisses.
Rory forgot where he was — he was only aware of the fingers stroking his hair, the fabric of Rogier's tunic underneath his hands, and the delicious warmth his tongue wallowed in. A little breathless he looked up to his captain, right into those icy blue eyes. Every touch still felt like an illusion, like a fantasy. He wanted to say something to tell the man how he felt. I want this forever. But these were words he didn't dare to say out loud.
In the end, it was Rogier who cleared his throat. "In two days, we'll go ashore. I'll request a meeting with Scias and in the meantime, I'll give the place a good look. I want you to come with me."
Rory perked up. "As your assistant?"
"No." Hesitation appeared in Rogier's eyes. "I want to establish a trade agreement. You're a gesture of goodwill."
"A gesture of goodwill?" Rory repeated, confused.
"A gift."
"You want to give me away?" he called out. Disbelief ripped his heart to shreds.
"Of course not." Rogier cupped his jaw and looked him in the eye. "But if I offer you as a servant, you'll get access to places I will never get to see. Get it? You can look for your friend, exploring every part of the building."
Rory took a deep breath. The relief didn't dare to show itself completely. He hadn't imagined the hesitation in Rogier's eyes. "That doesn't sound bad. So why are you so reluctant?"
"I don't know that guy, I have no idea what he will do to you. Of course I'll promote you as a good servant — one who also has the qualities to be a great guard. But... you're a handsome lad, Rory. And I know where many good-looking slaves end up."
Rory swallowed, and a shiver rolled down his spine.
But it's for Mouse. I'd do anything for my friend.
"I'll be fine." Rory heard himself say it, but his voice lacked confidence. What if he was exposed? What if they would succeed in freeing Mouse but not him; would they leave him behind? What if that Scias guy offered Rogier a really good deal? His shoulders slumped. Whatever it was between Rogier and him, it was so fragile that nobody but Lee and Kidd knew about it. What certainty did he have that the man wouldn't sail away without him?
"You don't have to do it, Rory," Rogier said in a soft voice. "You're the youngest, you're inventive and you can protect yourself well — and I trust you. But I won't force you."
Rory searched for his eyes. "What if he refuses to return his gift?"
"Listen, kid." Rogier lifted his chin, slowly rubbing the skin with his thumb. "I would rather burn that whole island to the ground than leavin' without you. There's no treasure in the world that's worth more to me than you."
Rory felt his cheeks flush. Was that really true?
"I was sold," Rogier said quietly. "I felt the chains around my wrists, I've heard men discussing how much my life was worth. Even pretending to sell you — let alone give you away — feels wrong. But it's a plan that might work and I want to give you the chance to show the others what you're capable of. You wanna know why I always request you to come here? Why I hold back the whole damn day instead of surrendering to the longing to touch you? Because I want them to see you the way I see you. You're so much more than "the captain's favorite". You've been fighting your whole life, you deserve to be trained as a steersman and you deserve my confidence in you. And I want them to see that potential you have — instead of whispering behind your back, claiming that you got that high position by whoring yourself. For that's not you — but the men on this ship can gossip like women."
Rogier's appreciation for who he was and his want to protect his image, warmed Rory to the core. But to be frank — he didn't care that much about what others thought of him. Everyone who knew him, knew he wouldn't get things done by getting on his knees for the captain.
"I'll do it," he said. "Of course I'll do it. We're talking about saving my best friend."
He had expected these words to be a relief for Rogier, but there was still a worried frown on his forehead.
Rory smirked. "You better make sure you don't miss me too much."
Rogier's lips curled up as well. "Too late. Can't think of anyone else I want on my lap." The look in his eyes became warm, soft. Rory got all mushy as the man's fingertips caressed his jawline. Rogier's breath tickled his lips before the man kissed them tenderly. Then he looked up, and Rory's heart was about to explode as the icy blue melted with the stormy grey.
"Stay with me tonight," Rogier said.
A blush spread across Rory's cheeks. "I'd love to," he whispered, full of tense expectation.
Rory wrapped his arms around Rogier's neck, pressing himself close to his chest and kissing him with a passion that didn't fade until dawn, when he was cuddled up against the man, feeling blissfully happy, while his captain's warmth formed a shield against whatever challenges were lying ahead.
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