When I wake up, it's two in the afternoon, and wow. A full eight hours of sleep, that's unheard of.
Almost immediately after I gain consciousness, I remember the night before, and can't help but groan. Since I'm so tired, I can't remember every little detail, but I do know I was able to avert the entire caught-lying-about-a-sister situation. After that was settled, my exhaustion caught up with me, and I think Dex tried making me food? I know I said some weird stuff, and I'm positive I fell asleep at my kitchen table.
I wake up in my bed.
This perplexes me, sitting up and glancing around the room in confusion. The blanket on me falls to pool in my lap, and Fluffy is fast asleep to the left of me. It takes at least a full minute for me to finally work out what probably happened.
Dex had to have put me here. There's no other way I could've ended up in my bed, because I've never been a sleepwalker. I also fell asleep in his presence, and he's already shown so much concern for my well being. I wouldn't put it past him to carry me to my bed. I also didn't put this blanket on myself, so...
I should do myself a favor and stop thinking about this. I have a weird feeling in my stomach, and my body is warm, and this is just way too much for me. I am not used to feeling emotions at all, let alone feeling ones that affect me so much my body has a reaction. Seriously, why am I so fucking warm? It's annoying.
I shake my head and decide not to think about it, taking a shower and feeding Fluffy. I then enter my kitchen, planning on finding a bag of chips or something. However, I take pause when I find a note on the fridge. I take few steps towards it, frowning as I read the neat, unfamiliar handwriting.
good morning
mac & cheese in the fridge—>
-dex
That's all it says, and I can't help the small smile on my face at the simplicity of it. When I open my fridge, sure enough, there is a plastic container I completely forgot I even had, full of mac and cheese.
I grab the mac and cheese, as well as my bottle of ketchup, and set it on the counter. I don't even plan on microwaving it, because once again, my standards for food are low due to my lack of resources growing up. The food I did have access to was never good, usually expired, always bland. The only way to add any flavor was through condiments.
Honestly, though... if anything, putting ketchup on my cold mac and cheese and eating it with two plastic butter knives—the only cutlery I have available at the moment. I really need to go to the store—would give me away as a serial killer faster than anything else.
I should probably start putting more effort into being normal. Especially since I have no idea how long or far this whole thing with Dex will go. However, he's been in my house three times now, and I've seen him shirtless, and he allegedly carried me to my bed last night. So, there's something going on, I just can't put my finger on what.
Having a friend is kind of nice, though. I always thought I tolerated people at the very most. Well, except Willow. I'd consider her a friend, even though I basically raised her through her teen years, including basic education. So, she feels more like family.
After eating half the container of mac and cheese, I put it away, and I essentially spend the rest of the day reading and actually indulging my hobbies for once, at least until it's time for work. Except, when it is time for work, I genuinely think about calling out. Sorry, but I really don't want to face Dex after last night. Of course, I can't remember the details, but I know I probably embarrassed myself.
I need to not let him see me so exhausted again. My filter is basically nonexistent, and I am incapable of taking anything seriously. That is not a good recipe, especially around a police officer.
I take my time getting ready for work, hoping he'll leave without me and fully knowledgeable that there's no way I'll be early. Seriously, I can't be early to anything. I'm either right on time or late—usually right on time.
Today I'm late, and yet, when I exit my apartment... there he is. Waiting.
I freeze in my doorway, Fluffy sticking her head through my legs so she can go back to convincing me to stay, as per our normal routine. Dex already seemed to be in a good mood, but he smiles when he catches sight of Fluffy's desperation to keep me from going to work.
It takes a moment, but I'm finally able to shut the door with her inside, although it is a struggle. Honestly, it's my fault for freezing like that. I should know better, that dog does not stay distracted for long. I need to be fast if I want to leave without trouble.
I turn and find Dex standing there, still smiling, and my face already feels warm. I am incapable of beating around the bush or stalling when it comes to conversations I need to have. So, right off the bat, I say;
"Sorry about this morning."
I can't help how tense I am, looking at Dex like I got caught doing something wrong. I don't know why, I just find the concept of someone having to take care of me like that embarrassing.
Dex's expression is soft, though. Almost comforting, and he nods his head in the direction of the elevator. Both of us begin walking that direction, though I'm fidgeting nonstop since he hasn't said anything yet. About halfway down the hall, he finally talks.
"Do you remember what happened?"
I frown, trying to recall the details—though not too much—as we draw nearer to the elevator.
"Well, we talked about my lie, and then I was tired so you took me to my kitchen. Uh... after that, you made me food... I don't remember eating. Maybe I said some weird things? I'm not sure, I don't remember going to bed though. I must've been really tired."
Okay, I'm acting like I remember a little bit less than I actually do. I know for a fact I slept at that table, and I know Dex had to have been the person to take me to my bed. Part of this is just to see if he will lie to me, but I genuinely don't remember anything I said to him before I fell asleep.
Judging by the way he's looking at me as we step on the elevator, however, it had to have been something I'd find embarrassing. I already knew that, though.
"That's pretty much it." Decari replies simply, and doesn't continue. Well, I guess he's not lying, since that pretty much is it. However, he's not clearing up any details, which I guess I don't really need him to do. Then again, I'd love to have a better picture of what happened. I don't like it when my memory isn't reliable.
So, he's not in the wrong, since it probably wasn't a huge deal to him. Still, I squint at him in suspicion. Dex just purses his lips, visibly trying not to smile.
That's it, I have to know.
"What did I say?"
Dex shrugs, "nothing crazy."
That's it. Instead of standing next to him, I walk around so I'm standing directly in front of the guy. Glaring at Dex, which he doesn't seem at all fazed by, I cross my arms. "Tell me."
Decari's amused, fond expression doesn't falter. He looks my face up and down, eyes seeming to linger on certain areas for whatever reason. He looks at me for a beat too long before finally saying;
"You're cute."
I cannot recall a time in my life where the anger drained out of my body so fast, and that concept irritates me further. I'm feeling a lot of conflicting emotions at the moment, but externally, I feel like my body is on fire. As if I wasn't already red enough, having to face him after making a fool of myself this morning, now it's way worse.
I reach up and cover my face, having no idea how to even respond to that. I don't even know if I'm capable of speech at the moment, anyway. I really need to ban Dex from complimenting me, because both times he has thus far, it has completely thrown me off.
I hear the elevator ding when we reach the bottom floor, and Dex grabs my elbow since I'm still covering my face. He holds onto me until we exit the building, and despite my irritation... I find myself sad that we have to part ways.
That's when I remember. The subway. The train.
Shit! What time is it?
"Shit," I mumble, mood doing a complete one-eighty as I take out my phone and check the time, finding that I would have to basically teleport there to make the train. "Ugh. This day keeps getting better."
"What's wrong?"
"I missed the train," I tell him, already mentally preparing myself for the verbal berating I will receive from Kristy. Of course, it's not like she will actually care that much, but none of my coworkers are happy when I'm late. Understandable, since that means they have to do my job until I arrive. That, or dayshift has to stay later. "Kristy's gonna kill me."
"You take public transportation?"
I put my phone away and look up at him, frowning, but then I realize that he usually parks on the other side of the lot. He's probably never seen where I actually go, since we typically part ways at the same time. "Yeah. It's fine, I'll just catch the next one."
"You know..." Dex begins, and his tone of voice is off-putting. Undoubtedly, he's about to say something that will change the whole tone of the conversation. "The police department isn't far from your hospital."
It clicks, what he's getting at, and it does not help my flushed cheeks. Since when do I blush this much? It's exhausting, all my life I've felt emotions behind a glass wall. A barrier, keeping them from really affecting me. However, it seems that Dex's presence magnifies them.
No, no, that can't be it. I just care way too much about what he thinks, and caring means I feel more. That's it, it has nothing to do with Dex himself. Maybe.
Okay, that doesn't even make sense.
"I can give you a ride. From now on, if you want, since it's on the way."
At some point, Dex and I started walking again. Towards his car. Without my permission, my legs moving on their own.
"That's... that's okay, I don't want to inconvenience you. I've been taking the subway for years."
"Sounds like you could use a break, then."
Eventually, we reach his police car, and I can't help but appreciate the irony of the situation. I belong in the back of this thing, handcuffed, on my way to death row for the things I've done. Yet, here I am, getting in the passenger seat after Dex called me fucking cute.
There's a lot going on in Dex's car. There's a laptop in between the seats, on some sort of strange mechanism where it can be moved freely. There are all kind of buttons aside from that, which make no sense to me, and he has a shit ton of files in between the seats. Also, normal cars don't have a metal barrier between the front and back.
"Sorry for the mess, not much room up here," he apologizes, even though it's not that messy. Does he not remember the constant state of chaos that my apartment is always in?
"That's okay," I tell him, "it's interesting."
"The car is actually my lieutenant's. I'll get mine back today."
I hum, unsure what happened to his but not asking since I need to minimize conversation, watching Dex pull out of the parking lot. It's quite amusing, driving down the road and watching all the other cars slow down and behave when they see him. It's an experience I could get used to, and when he pulls up in front of the hospital, I'm thankful nobody seems to notice—or at least, they don't act like they do. Police cars gain a lot of attention, which I probably should've predicted, but the extent still catches me by surprise.
Conversation throughout the ride is minuscule, and it feels hours long since I'm so stressed, overthinking everything. Saying goodbye to him ends up being the least stressful part, however, because i actually know what to say in the situation.
"Uh, thank you for the ride," I tell him, and he smiles.
"Have a good day at work. I'll see you tomorrow."
I have no idea why I can't breathe right now, why this entire situation is sending my nerves through the roof. All I know is that this feels weirdly domestic and I need to get the fuck out of this car.
So, I do, and when I see Kristy standing on the other side of the glass doors with a coffee and a terrifying grin on her face, I decide to just let go of any hope that the day will get better.
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