Alessio was pinching his nose, doing paperwork when we came into the centre. He looked up, and I heard him sigh. “Thank god, you finally came get treated.”

“Yeah.” I muttered.

“You don’t look very willing to me,” Alessio said, and kept checking his phone.

“Are we interrupting something?” Alexi asked, and Alessio shook his head and said nope, but checked his phone again. “Alessio?”

“Yeah, damn sorry. Lev is keeping me updated on a few things. Sasha and Lev are keeping me updated on the all the papers Yuri brought from Nikita, and then our surrogate is going into labour. It’s going to be a bit, but I am admittedly distracted.”

“I can wait.” I said and smiled a bit.

“Like hell. You’ve been waiting too long. Take your damn shirt off and let me see the damage now.” Alessio demanded, before muttering under his voice all kinds of things.

Pulling off my shirt, I set it on the chair, and he got gloves on and started pressing on spots and he pressed on bruised spot, and I dry heaved. He just hummed before he yanked me around other places in the clinic.

“Grab me a couple pain killers from the large white bottle with the red label, and a paper cup of water.” Alessio said to one of three nurses that we had in the medical centre now. I wasn’t here enough to know them all, but I knew he had paid for them to be educated, and he had just been waiting for them to graduate.  

He had picked partners of both family’s members. To my understanding, there were two women and one man that were picked from the six he sent, and the other three were sent out to gain hospital experience in case they were needed in the future. Until a few weeks before they graduated, he had kept that information to himself about what he was working on.

“Thank you,” he said and took the two cups, handing them to me.

I took the pills, dropping them into my mouth, and followed suit with the water. Swallowing them down, I winced. Alessio frowned at me, and I couldn’t help but be reminded of Alexi. They even frowned the same. I was pretty sure we all did.

“It must be nice to have all these nurses now. Not just you.” I said, as Alessio was pulling things out of a cupboard.

“Hmm, it’s better, but I get thinking every day about snagging one of those doctors from the hospital and demanding they take half of my job. But then Lev reminds me that is abduction, and it’s illegal even to me,” Alessio groaned and looked at Alexi. “Beat it, I’ve got this.” 

Alexi looked at me for a moment, but ultimately left. Alessio started touching my ribs again. “So how are you Nikki? And I don’t mean the ribs. Alexi is gone. You can be truthful with me.”

I let out a sigh. “I’m not fine. But I’m here. My brother showed me my car and tried to make me understand that both of us should be dead. I just don’t understand. Why would someone speed in the snow all while texting? How could you be that selfish?” I hissed and felt angry again.

“We buried Nonna with your father. That was my dad’s only request the entire time. He wanted nothing else. She looked peaceful, and they did a good job making her look like she was sleeping. There were many people who came to the restaurant for her celebration of life.” Alessio said, and I felt sadness pooling in my chest again. The words, I’m sorry, were on my lips again and Alessio had to know that because he looked right at me. “Don’t bother saying you’re sorry either, you have nothing to say sorry for. You were struggling, and we all knew that. Your brother is fiercely protective of you. He kept everyone away, even your mother.”

“Yeah. I understood that. I shouldn’t have pushed everyone away, but I really thought it was my fault she died. I didn’t know about the truck driver being so stupid that day.” I hissed, and Alessio sighed. “We kept telling you it was a tragic accident.”

“I didn’t care. It felt like it was all my fault. It still does. I could have prevented her death.”

“Nikki, you cannot keep beating yourself up about this. Nonna is sadly gone, and she can’t come back no matter how much you hope, pray and beat yourself up,” he said, looking at me with a deep sympathy in his eyes.

He wrapped my ribs, even though I told him I wasn’t interested. But Dr Alessio did what he wanted, by choice or force. He got the nurse to get me some more medication and leaned back in his chair when he handed them over.

“I’ll let Maddox know you can return to work medically once your ribs are healed. Mentally, well, that’s not my department, that’s over there. Go if you feel off, or need someone to speak to that isn’t family,” he said.

“No need. I’m getting back to work tonight. Creed was supposed to do a club round. I took over that. I need to get some clarity.”

“Nikki, I say this as both your cousin and your doctor. Are you sure you are ready to do this? After accidents it’s normal to be nervous in vehicles. I don’t want you to rush this.”

“I need to do this if I want to start moving forward. I just know this is what I need to do.” I said.

Alessio clearly had other things he wanted to say, but he didn’t. Instead, he just lightly wrapped his arms around me and set his chin on my head. In the few years that I had got to know both my brother and my cousin, we were closer than some relationships from birth. I don’t know how it worked out like this, but it did. Alessio, like my brother Alexi, treated me like a younger brother who needed the world.

“If you are doing the club round tonight, you’re working with Ilya and Blondie. Ilya will most likely have Vito at his side, so you’ll have to catch a ride with Blondie.”

“Sounds fine. Blondie and I get along well.” I said. We got along better than well; we got along great. Somehow we always ended up teamed together when. We played with the gel bead blasters regularly and I knew him enough now to carry a conversation and work alongside him.

“In terms of your concussion that they suspected you had, just take it easy and let me know if you have a headache, migraine, your ears ring or you puke. Otherwise, right now, you’re healing.” Alessio said and checked his phone.

“If the baby comes tonight, make sure you let me know.” I said and smiled lightly.

“Of course, everyone will get a photo and all the details,” Alessio said, and you could see how impatient he was about the baby coming.

“Lev and you are going to make great dads. You both are great with all the rest of the kids, so yours will be no different.” I said and stretched my arms a bit. The wrap kept me from being able to expand my ribs fully, but I was sure that was the point here. I waved to him and headed out of the medical clinic.

Outside of the doors, I took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. For midday, it felt dark, like the sun had lost its shine to me. Somewhere deep in me, I could feel the warmth on my skin from the sun, but at surface level, everything felt cold. Numb.

Inside the Vincent compound, I could hear the kids playing and Zev arguing with Emerson about what snack to give all kids. If I took a second to look, I knew right alongside them I would see my daughter. They were most likely heading out to play in the backyard. If she was with them, Creed and Alexi wouldn’t be far behind.

They went by, and I watched in the entrance for my daughter. Side by side with Emerson’s son, they waddled in winter gear. My little chick. She turned sideways and saw me, her little eyes lighting up. She yanked her hand away from him and came running.

Wrapped around my legs, she cried, and her little words were not understandable as she grabbed at me. Gently trying to move her, she cried louder and clung to me tighter. “No! Daddy no!”

“Daddy is just trying to move you. Take a deep breath, Amore.” I whispered, stroking her light brown hair. She kept crying, and it was taking a toll on me, broken bones or not. I wanted to pick her up and make sure she was ok.

Thank God, Maddox seemed to pop up from his office, the father inside him most likely hearing Meadow screaming her head off. He scooped Meadow up and she screamed and cried, but fizzled out when she realized she could look directly at me.

“Meadow, your daddy has an ouch from a few days ago. He can’t hold you, no matter how bad he wants to.” Maddox said patiently, and turning to rest her on his side like he did with Ares.

“Uncle Maddox will hold you, and you can give me the biggest hug you can, Ok?” I said and moved closer so she could wrap her little arms around me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me the biggest hug she could.

“Hey, that cheating.” I heard Alexi mutter as he came over and looked at Maddox holding Meadow. She saw him as she let go of me, her face covered in tears, and she looked around. Her little bottom lip trembled. She was looking for Creed.

“He’s on the phone with Grandma. I gave him the phone so I could come get my favourite chick to talk to grandma too.” Alexi said and took Meadow from Maddox’s arms. Once she was in his arms, and couldn’t see his face, Alexi stuck his tongue out at Maddox and taunted him.

Alexi walked off with my daughter, but not before hollering to me he would bring her back to me in a day or two. That left Maddox and me standing there looking at each other. He reached out and set his hand on my shoulder.

“Glad to see you’ve finally come out on your own. If you need someone to talk to, your options are endless.” Maddox said, patting my shoulder before he left, heading to the backyard. Chances were, he was going to rob Emerson of their son. Ares was Maddox’s shadow, almost always.

Touching the damp spot on my shirt, a little tug made me wish I had hugged her just a little longer.