Jones sat down next to me on the sofa with his drink. He offered me, but I declined it.

“So how was it? Did you enjoy your date?” he asked while sipping his drink.

I stared at him; it was 10:35 pm. What was causing him to drink tonight and that too at the apartment? Were we celebrating something, or was he stressed about something? I sighed, “I told you before, and I am saying it again. It was not a date, Jones.”

“Hmm... really?”

I nodded my head. Then I decided to ask him, “What about you? Are you dating or crushing on someone?”

He chuckled and leaned closer to me. “I currently fancy someone.”

“Who? Is it one of your friends?”

He put his finger on my lips. “Shhh… Don’t go on making guesses like that. You are coming closer to the answer like that, and I don’t like it.”

I frowned. Here he is going around making assumptions about my personal life, and when I step into the same water as him, he shoves me away. “Hey! Don’t be like that.”

He took another sip of his drink. “Chris, here is the deal, my buddy.”

I sat up straight, humming in response.

He continued. “You spill the tea about your life to me, and I will spill mine to you.”

I stared at him. We have lived together for like 1 year under the same roof, but we had never sat down together like this for more than 10 minutes. The last time it happened was last year’s Christmas, and it was not a good Christmas for him.

“Yeah, sure, we can try that.” I told him.

He groaned and said, “Dude, we are not trying; the deal is already made.”

What? When did I agree to this? I said, “What are you talking about?”

“You agreed when you began making assumptions about my life.”

“Yeah, I assume.” I glanced towards him. He was mixing some drinks, “So who is it? Lyla, Richard, or someone else?”

He said, “You guessed all wrong.” He kept the glass he was holding on the table and began munching on fries. “But it is someone else, do you know Avery?” he asked while averting his eyes towards me.

Avery. I had heard it somewhere, maybe during my first year of college. She wait no, they do not use 'she’ pronoun anymore.

“Was Avery the person who came out to everyone about their identity?”

He frowned and said, “Yes, you got it. But they did not come out about it themselves. It just got out and spread throughout the entire department, in like a day or two.”

I raised my eyebrows and said, “Oh, were they alright?” It felt wrong asking him about Avery’s life person he took liking in. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s ok. They do not mind it, and I trust you; you are not like others.” His words went straight through me deep. I looked at him, trying to get back to listen to him further.

He continued, “Back then, the majority of the students did not care about what Avery’s pronouns are. Most were like chill; the students heard it and then were like, 'Ok, fine, we will refer you as they/them’.” He clenched his fists. “But there were some students who said some unpleasant words to them. So we complained about it to the college counsel. After that, they stopped, but those idiots would sometimes still pass by some comments to Avery.”

“I can’t believe people are still bothered by stuff like this; is Avery okay though?”

He said, "Yes, they are. I and my friends talked about it to them. They said they were scared at first, but now they are fine. People say some unpleasant words to them. But now they are strong, they stood up for themselves, and there are other people like them who came up and supported them too.”

That’s great. "Oh, that’s good to hear.” I paused, “Are they hanging out with you and your friends?”

He smiled and said, “Yes, they are." He took a sip of his drink.

“Don’t drink too much.” I told him.

Jones whines and puts the drink down.

I asked him, “Do they know about your feelings?”

He shook his head; to the point I fear he might snap his neck. “No No. They don’t.”

I tilted my head and said, “When are you telling them?”

He got up and began putting the drink bottles in the fridge. "Never,” he said while synchronizing it with the thumping of closing the fridge.

I sighed. “Does it hurt to try?”

He sat down next to me and brought his legs closer to his chest. "Yes, it does. What if they don’t want it? And then our whole friendship we bounded over the year fell because it makes everything uneasy between us.”

“It does not harm. But that sounds like a risk.” He shot me a look. I really want to bang my head on the table now.

I continued, “I.. No.. I.. I did not mean that way.”

He raised his eyebrows. 

I said, “The fear is quite obvious. Understandable.” He gives me a suspicious look but says nothing.

I looked towards him and said, “But liking someone is not a crime. You can talk about your feelings to them and what worries you exactly. Don’t pressure them into anything.”

“Okayy…” He said while putting his legs down and sitting properly.

A thought popped into my mind that I was giving him advice out of nowhere, so I decided to diverge away from it because I myself have no clue about dating. I asked him, “Do any of your friends know about this?”

"Yeah, Lyla does.” He leaned on the sofa and said, “She told me to go for it. But I don’t want to because they already went through a lot, and I don't want to make things complicated for them.”

“Then don’t do it for now. Maybe wait? What if you move on from them?” I said, but I was mostly questioning it to myself.

He took a breath in and said, “Yeah, I think they need some space. I can wait, but I am not sure if I would move on or not.”

I smiled, “Don’t worry about it too much. You are young. Lots of things are yet to happen.”

He scoffed, “You sound like an old man. Though you are forgetting that you are in the same boat, like me.” He said while pointing an accusatory finger towards me.

“Hmm? I don’t understand.”

He grinned, “What about Michael?”

I stared at him dazed. Well, my mind has been going frenzy when it comes to him. I have been awkward around other people, but around him it did not feel exactly the same. Sometimes the silence between us does not vibe off as uneasy. He only said a few words about it to me once.

“It does not bother me, the silence. It is not uncomfortable.”

Jones flicked on my forehead. “Ow! That hurts.”

“I was pulling you out of your dreams? So did you at least tell Michael about your heart condition when around him, in dreams?”

I furrowed my eyebrows.

He sighed, “You idiotic bookworm, I am asking whether you told Michael about your feelings in the dream at least.”

I exclaimed, “What??”

He puts his hand below his chin and looks me from up to down. “Hmm, I either nailed it about my assumption or you haven’t even tried.”

“I don’t know.”

He gave me a confused look. He said, “You don’t know what? Chris?”

“Jones, I am not sure about what I feel for him, exactly.” I told him while leaning on the other side of the sofa.

He scratched his head and said, “Well then, you can think about it later. Tell me your answer. I don’t want to be The Only Lonely One Stuck In One-Sided Liking.” He got off the sofa and began heading towards his room. "Anyways, I am drowsy. You should go to sleep too.”

“Yeah.” I told him, but I don’t think it was audible to him.

“Chris, get some sleep, ‘Cause you won’t get anyway in the next few weeks.” He said before closing his bedroom door.

“Yes.”

~~

A week passed since my visit to Michael’s house. Me and Clara breathed a sigh of relief when we submitted our group assignments, but relief did not last long any longer as we had started with our exam preparation.

The classes were draining. I would pray for weekends to come on Mondays; the time felt so long yet passed so quickly. In a blink, a week was over, and in a couple of more blinks, the exams have arrived. The sleepless nights, me and Jones living on takeaways and high amounts of caffeine—that is surely a healthy way of life, isn't it? No? Okay, fine, but everyone does that at some point in their life.

Things have been quite smoothly except for those exams, but they are still fine, still in control. But even during those times I still have been around Michael, given the fact he still accompanied in bus rides back to our places, which were quite the same as usual. I thought about what feelings I had for Michael, but the moment I did that, it felt so unsure to the point I decided to postpone it after exams.

Even after exams got over, Clara still hangs out with me. We mostly waited back at the library when her girlfriend was in basketball practice. Other times it would be with Mason and others at lunch time.

We were sitting at our lunch table, just eating our food, when Stephanie cleared her throat and said to all of us, “So have you all begun preparing yourself for a one-day trek to the forest?”