!!!CW, references to de@th, references to wounds, mild cursing, references to coming out!!!

Chapter 4

Where were you?

Lee’s father appeared in the hallway, baseball bat in hand, and found his child on the floor staring up at nothing in horror. “Lee? Honey?” he said cautiously. Lee’s head turned quickly as they met their father’s gaze. Quickly they clambered up wincing as they put weight onto their arm. “I’m ok Dad,” Lee shook their hand waving him off, “Just tired I guess… fell asleep while standing.”

Lee’s father narrowed his eyes, pausing a moment but wished his child good night and shuffled back into his room. As soon as he closed the door Lee bolted down the hallway into their bedroom. They shut the door behind them and slowly slid down the frame, bracing themself on the cool door.. “A-alice?” They stammered, breath not coming to them, “Are you still here?”

A long pause, long enough that doubt creeped into Lee’s mind. Had they really just seen Alice? She seemed so…sad. A slight knock on the door made Lee jump and they looked up to see Alice slide through the door above them floating in the air and turning to face Lee. “Hey babe” she smiled, “What’s up?”

Lee stared at her. They raised a hand out and put it through Alice’s shoulder. Cold dug its way into their hand. “Y-you're actually here?”

“Um, yeah?” Alice gave a strange look at her friend. She stood up and looked around the room. She climbed up the ladder onto the top bunk of  Lee's bed and sat down. It was a familiar perch to her. They had spent months begging Lee’s father not to throw out the bunk beds when the bottom bunk had been broken. Where it once was now laid a full size mattress that Lee often slept on. Seeing Alice cross her legs and look down, it felt like almost not time had passed. If not for the gash in her neck, Lee would have been willing to think they had just imagined a whole year of their life. Lee stumbled to their feet and clicked a power strip turning on fairy lights around the ceiling, illuminating the room with soft light. Not much had changed in the room over the past few years. And having Alice back was strange. Looking up at her perched in her favorite spot, if it wasn’t for the slight translucency and soft glow she would fit right in as she always had. This room had been just as much Alice’s  as it was Lee’s. They had only been over to her house a handful of times, and Alice’s room was bare. Lee couldn’t bring themself to take Alice’s pictures and posters off of the walls. She looked around the room eyeing the one thing that had changed recently. “Does this mean you finally told your dad?” she asked, pointing at the pride flag hung above the bed.

Lee was still staring at her. “Uh, yeah, it was fine.” They could not believe she was here. They didn't know what to think. They had been seeing the dead ever since they were little but never someone they had actually known. The only other person in Lee’s life to have died was their mother and Lee had just assumed she moved on considering she knew the gist of how the afterlife worked. But to have Alice actually here? This was new. 

Lee stepped cautiously over to their desk and sat down on the large pillowy chair, tucking in their feet and throwing a blanket over their shoulders. The room was getting really cold. They looked up, again, at Alice who was looking at some photos hung above Lee’s bed. “Alice?” they asked.

She popped her head over the edge of the bed to look down at Lee. “Yes?” She was smiling ear to ear, and Lee felt a pull in their stomach. I didn't realize just how much I missed that, they thought. 

“Why are you here?” Lee asked. 

Alice scoffed and furrowed her brows. “What? Are you not happy to see me?” she pouted down at them. 

“NO! It's not that!” Lee protested,” it's just… where have you been?” They felt their throat close up, and choked as they spoke. “I looked for you Alice. I went everywhere. School, your house, the woods, I even…” Lee paused, “I even went where they had said they found you, just to make sure you weren't lost. You weren't there. So where were you?”

Alice rolled her eyes and sat up. She tried to grab one of the stuffed animals on Lee’s bed, one that she had left behind but couldn't pick it up to put it into her lap. Frustrated, she rubbed her palms against her knees. “I don't know Lee.” she answered. “I just remember feeling a lot of nothing and then I woke up down the road. I wanted to see you and suddenly I was here. I know probably even less than you.”

“Do you know how long it’s been?” Lee asked.

“ I don't know.” She answered, her tone came out irked. “Your hair is shorter.”

“What does that have to do with-”

“I don't know! Maybe I could have been able to tell if you let it grow out?” She plopped her chin into her hands. “Maybe a month?” Alice shrugged.

Lee shook their head, running a hand through their hair suddenly just as self conscious as they had been the day they got it cut. “Alice, it’s been a year. Like today.”

“Oh” Alice said.

Lee waited for her to continue. “That’s it? ‘Oh’?” Lee closed their eyes and took another breath.

“Oh I'm sorry, how am I supposed to react to my death exactly?” Alice snapped, crossing her arms. “Honestly I think I'm handling things rather well.”

“ Well I haven't!” Lee shouted. They winced hoping their father hadn't heard that. Alice widened her eyes but didn't move to say something. Lee rubbed the exhaustion around their face. Their fingers were getting cold and they had no energy for this. Not with how crazy exhausting the day had been and going off of very little sleep lately. They sighed. “Ok... do you know what you want?”

“ What do you mean?” Alice replied. 

“Do you remember when I was telling you I could see ghosts?” Lee asked.

“Yeah! You would tell me about them all the time, like that one frozen guy Mike.”

“Nick.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway,” Lee continued. “ Usually they have a reason to stick around. It can be anything really. For some people it is simple. Like giving a message to a loved one. For others it's something I can't really do.”

“What can't you do?” Alice asked.

“Well i haven't had anything too hard but there was one time my mom was helping a man who had died in a war a long time ago. He wanted to see his son but his son had already died. He got upset and left but mom said she still saw him for a while.” Lee thought back. They hadn't had any ghosts they couldn't help yet. And they really didn't want Alice to be their first. Yeah Nick couldn't be helped yet but, the day Lee turned 21 they figured they could at least try. 

Alice groaned and layed down into the bed. “I don't know what to want. I wanted to see you.”

Lee thought for a moment. They knew Alice well, just as well as they knew themself. Suddenly something clicked. “I've got it!” 

Alice shifted back up resting on her elbows. “ You have what exactly?”

Lee smiled. “I have your reason for sticking around.” Lee jumped out of their seat and tossed the blanket down. They spoke as they climbed the ladder into the top bunk. “Don't you think it’s crazy for you to just appear the same night you died a year ago?”

“Yeah I guess so.'' Alice huffed and sat up, making room for Lee as they settled next to her, “but I don't really see where you're going.” 

“ I think it's pretty simple.” Lee settled into the bed pulling the stuffed animal Alice had been playing with into their lap. “ Maybe you can't rest until we find the person who did it. Maybe they're about to get away with it.”

Alice rolled her eyes. “Seriously?”

Lee smiled. “Seriously.”

“Ok no,” Alice held her hands up for Lee to stop. “You're making this sound like it's coming straight out of a shitty teen drama show.” 

Lee laughed. “Yeah. and that's exactly why you would be wanting this. It is the exact same shit you would fall for hook line and sinker. Only you would orchestrate this as your last wish. Come on,” Lee leaned in towards Alice, “you know you would. And …” Lee pointed at the gash across Alice’s neck, " I know you're pissed about that.” 

Alice rolled her eyes and seemed to think for a minute. Finally she sighed and looked up at Lee. “ You know what? You're right. Where do we start?”