I hate being in a new school. 

I hate that I spend my night staring up at the ceiling and feeling tired during the day because I couldn’t sleep. 

I hate that I don’t understand half of my assignments and I hate that the Jeep hasn’t been fixed.

I hate that I’m stuck in this town and I’m starting to hate everything about my life.

Millie texted me a few times, usually asking if we’re still hanging out and I think they’re feeling nervous about meeting. Honestly, they were a big help in helping me find my classes, but I noticed that brought some attention to the other people in the class and they kept coming to my desk wanting answers. Some of the girls were disappointed to hear that I was already in a long-distance relationship and some kept asking if they could still exchange numbers with me hoping for a chance later on in case it ended, I don't get why they think it's okay to say that to my face. My first week of school ended and I stood in front of the bathroom mirror deleting all the numbers that were exchanged. I noticed Aunt Jocelyn checking on me and I put my phone away to comb my hair.

“Where’re you going?” Aunt Jocelyn asked.

“The mall,” I said and took out the keys from my pocket to show her. “Guess who got their car back this morning?”

“Was it expensive?” She asked.

“Yes. You’ll see it in your credit card bill,” I mumbled and decided that I would have to find a new barbershop. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Have you ever… Have you met anyone who refers to themselves as they/them?” I asked and tried to remember the proper term. “I guess their pronouns aren’t he or she exactly.”

Aunt Jocelyn raised an eyebrow and pressed her lips together before answering. “Well, first off, I know who you're talking about and to answer your question, yes. It wasn’t safe to come out as gay or lesbian during my teen years, but it’s so much different now. To be non-binary or transgender is a completely different story.”

“What’s non-binary?” I asked confused.

“Are you going out with that kid?” She asked instead.

”Yeah. Is that okay?”

“Of course. It’s not like I’m going to stop you. I don’t even know what type of people you hang out with, but I know that kid isn’t so bad and I know you're not a bad person either.” She replied and started walking to the kitchen.

I followed behind her and leaned against the side of the fridge. “Is there something that I should know?”

Aunt Jocelyn reached for a pot and set it on the stove before facing me. “I think you should be asking them those questions. I can answer it, but I think they would like it if you asked them those questions.”

I stood there wondering about this and sighed knowing that I wasn’t going to get my answers from her. “Alright then. I’ll be going.”

“Don’t be out too late,” She called out.

It took a while to find my way to the mall with the GPS on my phone and I wasn’t exactly sure where we were going to meet. I stayed in my car waiting for a message from Millie and stepped out deciding to find my way around. We agreed to meet at the food court and Millie gave me some information to find my way there. It’s the same mall that I went to with my Aunt Jocelyn and we looked into buying some new clothes for school. I walked past the shops until I saw the coffee stand and waited in line deciding to get us a drink. I looked at the menu a little longer than usual and wondered what sort of drink Millie liked. I got myself a caramel macchiato and I hoped they would like the ice white chocolate mocha. After arriving, they looked down at their cup as we sat at the food court area and there was an awkward silence between us until he moved to face me.

“Would it be hard for you to call me Millie?” They asked quietly. “People don’t understand when I try to explain it to them.”

“I’m more confused about why they don’t understand,” I answered.

“They don't see it the way I do. I don’t go by gender roles and feel like I don’t have to be restricted by the type of clothes I can wear or who I have to be. I am me and I think it’s normal to wear what you want without restriction.” Millie explained to me and they held the cup tightly. “I picked Millie because I don’t feel connected to who Alexander was supposed to be.”

“So, you don’t want to be referred to as male or female, right?” I asked.

“Pretty much. Sometimes I’m not too sure if it’s non-binary or gender fluid, but I don’t feel like I’m male or female. Just… me.” He said and took a sip from their drink as if feeling awkward. “I don’t care if it's easier to be referred to as a he. Call me whatever makes you comfortable as long as you say my name, Millie.”

I smiled and reached out to ruffle their hair wanting to make them comfortable. “Come on, Millie. What else should we do?”

“While we’re at the mall, is it okay if we look at some make-up?” They asked as they gave me this puppy-dog look. “Please, I hardly get to go look around. My dad doesn’t approve so he keeps throwing them away and I saved up for this eyeshadow that came out this week.”

I sighed and nodded, “Alright. As long as we don’t stay there long. Sometimes the perfume smell in those kind of stores gives me a headache.”

“That’s fine. I’ll make it quick,” Millie replied and happily stood up, taking their drink with them.

We spent almost three hours at the mall and I didn’t think we would spend so much time going through the stores. I noticed Millie hated the jeans in the men's section, but liked to go through the activewear and liked to try on dresses. They didn’t like sneakers, yellow-colored clothes, and extremely hated crop tops. It was odd watching this, my girlfriend was picky as well, but they usually grab an outfit that they saw online and order it once it’s in the store. It seemed like they wanted to share more about themselves whenever we were looking at clothes, but they didn’t say anymore aside from that her dad didn’t like the way they dressed and that they didn’t have many friends at school.

Not once had they brought up a friend from school when we talked about our classes and what sort of plans they had after graduating. It was odd talking about college choices and trying to imagine how our prom would be. I wondered if Stephanie would come to my prom or vice versa. I didn’t mind our little shopping spree and Millie would always be asked for my opinion so it sort of distracted me. I bought myself a sweater now that it’s gotten chilly after school and Millie thought a shade of dark red suited me when I was selecting a color. I didn’t think I would spend my weekend at the mall, with the outcast student of our school, and building a new friendship between us. I didn’t get why people bullied them and didn’t give them a chance. I still slipped the wrong choice of words a few times, but they didn’t take offense towards it and even laughed it off. I was even comfortable offering a ride once our time was done and we promised each other to hang out again soon.