Chapter 7 – Your Order

“Do you mean to say that you’re aware of your beauty?”

“Is it wrong if I am? In fact, it’d be strange not to notice when everyone reacts the same way.”

“No, you’re right,” Kael teased, adding playfully, “Then, I should find out how much more beautiful you are in other aspects.”

Having controlled his carnal desires, he now felt relaxed enough to reveal his mischievous side, a facet usually reserved for those closest to him. Wearing a mischievous grin, he bent down, half-serious and half-joking, to nuzzle Irene’s neck. However, as he drew closer, he noticed Irene closing her eyes and tensing her shoulders.

She must have been startled. I can’t believe I didn’t realize this. All that sex education was useless, Kael thought, despite his extensive lessons. Regaining some sense, he felt a touch of embarrassment for his actions. Seriously, I’m being humiliated for no reason because of the foolish people around me.

Kael’s gaze trailed down Irene’s slender shoulders and arms. She clenched her fist, rubbing her index finger with her thumb. Kael’s chest tightened needlessly; this wasn’t the time for jokes. He couldn’t fathom the emotions she concealed behind her stoic facade. Letting out a sigh, he moved away from Irene and stood by the bedside.

“I wanted to see you. I wanted to meet you, but not like this,” he said.

Irene slowly opened her tightly shut eyes and asked, “Then, what should I do?”

Kael detected a hint of anxiety in her question, a fleeting glimpse of her inner turmoil.

“Lady Irene, you can do as you please. We didn’t bring you here to hold you captive,” he said, his tone measured. “I merely wanted to see you one more time because you left a strong impression.”

Irene pursed her lips and averted her gaze, slightly embarrassed by his unexpected formality. It wasn’t until relief washed over her, melting the tension from her shoulders, that she realized how much lighter she felt.

I didn’t know I’d get nervous about something like this.

Until now, Irene had followed orders as a knight without much thought to her own well-being. She had been insensitive to her own emotions and had never cared to understand how she felt. But now, she was beginning to acknowledge her feelings. She was coming to terms with the fact that she was an ordinary person thrust into an unfamiliar and possibly frightening situation. This was something Irene had failed to realize about herself until now, though Kael had noticed it long before.

After a moment, Irene said, “Is that so? In that case, was there a misunderstanding? Now that you’ve seen me, can I go back?”

“If I say I don’t want you to leave, will you stay?”

“I will obey any order you give,” Irene replied. Kael had meant his question as a joke, but Irene’s response touched him deeply.

With a chillingly cold and emotionless voice, he said, “Then, take it off again.”

“I obey your order.” Irene stood up from the bed and reached for the knot of her robe.

Of course, she’s the same. Why is she accepting any order?

Kael sighed softly. Seeing Irene unquestioningly obey his commands, even this absurd one, ignited a fiery anger within him. His anger was directed toward the Theorin people who had shaped her this way.

Reaching out to grasp Irene’s hand as she was about to undo her gown’s knot, he asked, “Do you want to sleep with me?”

“Pardon?”

“I asked if you want to sleep with me.”

“Do my thoughts matter?”

The emptiness in Irene’s voice sent shivers down Kael’s spine. He desperately wanted to restore the missing spark in her soul and break the invisible chains that bound her so tightly.

“You know that something like this should happen with mutual consent, right?” Kael said. “There’s no way you wouldn’t know that.”

“The Empire’s order is the kingdom’s order…”

“Are you supposed to blindly follow any order as a knight?”

“Following every order with my life is the duty of a knight…” Irene’s voice trailed off. The more she spoke, the more miserable she felt. She couldn’t believe that following an order like this, especially when she was no longer a knight, left her feeling so defeated. She mourned her powerlessness as a hostage.

“Irene M. Voltern, isn’t your name enough to define who you are?” When his question was met with silence, Kael continued, “Lady Irene, it is your right to refuse to sleep with someone if you don’t want to. I don’t sleep with someone unless I love her.”

“Love…” Irene repeated after him unintentionally, gripped by an unfamiliar feeling as she stared into Kael’s determined eyes.

“I’ll ask again. Do you want to sleep with me?”

After a moment of hesitation, Irene said, “No.”

“I’m ordering you again. Don’t take it off.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Instead, promise me that you’ll resist any such order in the future. You shouldn’t endure it. It’s late. You can sleep here tonight.”

Though his eyes were cold, his tone was gentle and uncertain.

Without waiting for a response, Kael briskly exited the room. Irene could only watch in bewilderment as he walked away, pondering which side of him was the true one, while the door closed behind him.

“Your Highness?”

As he passed the puzzled head maid and grand chamberlain, Kael remarked, “Regarding today’s events, I’ll address them tomorrow morning.”

With that, he swiftly headed to the room adjacent to his own, locked the door behind him, and hurriedly opened a window. He gasped for breath, releasing the tension he had been holding.

“What kind of life has she been subjected to?!”

The façade he had maintained, pretending to be his usual self in front of Irene and his staff, rapidly crumbled. It became evident to him that he couldn’t play the role of “Prince Kael” in her presence. Before Irene, he could only be a man.

As he dwelled on Irene’s disheartened demeanor, his irritation and frustration surged within him. He had never experienced such emotions before and was unsure of how to cope. What frustrated him the most was his inability to help Irene in her current situation.

“Why am I so powerless?” he muttered.

He attempted to control his anger and calm his racing heart, but his grip on the windowsill tightened to the point of damaging it.

After a few moments, he managed to regain his composure. Yet, he noticed a discomfort in his lower region.

“It’s as if it’s about to explode,” he sighed.

After suppressing his urges and enduring everything, the moment his tension was released, his body reacted with unrestrained vigor. If simply seeing Irene’s body had this effect, he could only imagine how he would react to even more intense stimuli.

“I can’t stop thinking about it. Perhaps I should consult Wellen…”

He briefly considered confiding in Wellen, but quickly dismissed the idea, imagining how Wellen would pretend not to be excited but would be secretly thrilled. Instead, he allowed the cold winter air to hit him as he slumped against the window frame. Kael let out a deep sigh and rubbed his face. Both his mind and body were causing him discomfort, and he felt frustrated with his inability to find a solution.

“By the way… Did I appear experienced? Oh no, what have I done? It seems it will take time to win her over,” Kael groaned in despair.

As he replayed the events of the evening in his mind, he recalled his words and actions. Despite receiving thorough education about intimacy from a young age, it didn’t mean he was skilled in romance, especially when it was all new to him. The memory of laying Irene on the bed remained vivid and was enough to make him tense again. However, the pounding of his heart didn’t feel unpleasant. In fact, it was much better than the fear he had experienced when he thought he might lose her forever.

“I’m definitely not alright,” Kael admitted, feeling as if he had gone mad. But even as he reflected on his actions, the image of Irene’s captivating gaze continued to occupy his thoughts. Like the tender flesh inside a tough shell, he found himself inexplicably drawn to her. “I wonder if she noticed the way she looked at me…”

In their brief encounter, Kael had learned a lot about Irene. She had likely sacrificed many aspects of her life to obey orders. The gaze in her eyes when she talked about following orders appeared simultaneously strong and noble, yet also fragile and pitiable. As she strived to embody the image of a perfect knight, Irene had unwittingly fortified herself with determination. Kael couldn’t fathom the pain she had endured as a knight.

He vowed to himself, “I’ll make it possible for her to reclaim everything she has sacrificed so far. I’ll let her do all that she desires.”

A gust of wind carried snowflakes through the window, which began to accumulate around his feet.

“Looks like it’s going to snow again,” he remarked with a sigh, though the corners of his mouth had relaxed. “More importantly… How can I make her fall for me?”

His thoughts expanded as he contemplated what he needed to do to win Irene’s heart. Suddenly, an idea struck him.

“The library. Yes, there’s the library!”

Despite the late hour, Kael sprinted out of the room with the determination of a scholar consumed by a burning passion for knowledge. As the night grew deeper, so did his resolve.