“Dr. Kaur,” Alexander nodded to a beautiful older woman as we walked into Ruthie’s hospital room, “we’re here.”
“Hello,” she smiled, shaking my hand, “it’s nice to meet you. I’ve already been told by Alexi that you’re his partner. You’re all welcome to stay as long as you wish. We’re planning to shut off most of the equipment and simply rely on oxygen and morphine. I am truly sorry it’s progressed so rapidly.”
“It’s okay,” Alexander sat in a chair as Ezekiel took small steps toward Ruthie, “Zeke, you can touch Mum. Don’t be scared.”
“She looks so happy,” Ezekiel whispered, pointing at the smile on Ruthie’s face.
“Probably having a good dream of when you were little,” I went to the other side of the hospital bed and kissed Ruthie on her forehead, “Hi, Mum. I wish we had more time together. Thank you,” I whispered, “thank you for giving me Alexander. For trusting me to care for him and Zeke. There’s so much I wanted to see and tell you about. But I made you a promise and I’ll keep it. I’ll take care of your boys. Okay? Zeke told me he loves me,” I laughed, a tear rolling down my cheek, “called me tuakana. It’s precious. You’d have loved it. It’s okay, Ruthie. Everything will be wonderful. I’ll keep Alexi happy, I swear.”
A rapid beeping filled the air as Ezekiel hugged Ruthie’s arm and I looked at the monitors behind me to find that her oxygen levels had plummeted along with her heart rate. Dr. Kaur came rushing back into the room and started working on Ruthie, a few nurses with her and I grabbed Ezekiel, moving to stand near Alexander as they both cried, Ezekiel into my shoulder and Alexander pressed his face to my stomach. The alarms continued for a while until Dr. Kaur shut them off and watched Ruthie take a few small gasping breaths.
“Take them out,” she barked at a nurse who pushed the three of us from the room, Alexander fighting the entire time until he collapsed in the hallway, crying loudly.
“Caelan,” Ezekiel continued to cry and I kissed his forehead, trying to stay composed for the two of them, “is it hurting Mum?”
“No baby it shouldn’t hurt. Not with the medicine,” I rasped, my throat raw from holding in my emotions.
“Okay. I don’t want her to be hurting.”
“Alexi,” I set Ezekiel down and squatted, cradling Alexander’s face, “baby she’s not in any pain. You know that. Switch to doctor mode and think. What are they doing?”
“Increasing her pain medication and trying to stabilize her before she seizes,” he stared at me confused, his expression that of a lost child, “why, Cae? Why is this… my Mum is a good person. She has a beautiful soul. I…”
“Because life can be cruel and steal people from us before we feel ready. But losing Oliver taught me that you can never truly be ready for this, regardless of how old someone is. Your mum got a few of those things she wanted. She got to be a grandmother to 8 kids thanks to my nieces and nephews. Even if they never met. She watched you meet me and knew how much I care for you. It gave her that peace she needed. She knows you and Zeke will be okay. I promise that we’re going to be okay.”
Alexander gripped my arms as the hospital room door opened and Dr. Kaur came out, “Doctor?”
“I’m sorry,” was all she said, hanging her head and Alexander pulled me and Ezekiel close, crying louder than before.
We sat there for a long time, people moving around us as I couldn’t get Alexander off the floor and once he felt ready we returned to Ruthie’s room. She was lying there peacefully, the same small smile on her face but there were no longer tubes or IVs attached to her. It was as if she was asleep, with no worries in the world.
“I’ll leave you both here for a moment,” I whispered, kissing Alexander on the cheek, “I want to call my family and Harvey. Let them know what happened. I’ll also check with a nurse to see if I can’t find out about Jake.”
“Caelan?” Alexander sighed and I hugged him tightly, “You know she loved you, right?”
“Of course I do. I love her too.”
I left the two of them to say their goodbyes and grieve in privacy before calling everyone I could. I managed to catch Teodoro before he boarded his second flight and he gasped, deciding to stay longer in Taupaki to help with Ezekiel. Harvey had just arrived in Leeds when he finally responded to my call and told me he would inform Beatrice so I didn’t have to. My last stop was at a nurse's station where I found a few different nurses sitting around, checking on monitors and other necessities for their patients.
“Excuse me?” I called softly and the nurse closest to me smiled, “I know this isn’t the emergency department but are you able to check on the status of a patient for me?”
“I should be able to. What’s their name and your relationship to the patient?”
“Jacob Bennett. He’s going to be my father-in-law.”
She typed a few things into the computer before clearing her throat and looking at me again, “he was transported to the morgue a few minutes ago. They’re currently attempting to contact his wife.”
“He’s gone?” I whispered and she nodded slowly, “his wife just passed in room 107. Their sons are in there currently. Am I allowed to share the news? I’m a doctor but I don’t work in hospitals.”
“Yes. That would be fine. I’ll inform the coroner. Please give our condolences.”
“Does it tell you how he passed?”
“Exsanguination.”
“Shit. Okay. Thank you.”
I patted the counter before heading back to the hospital room. Alexander lifted his head as I came in, Ruthie no longer in the room and I wrang my hands, trying to decide how to share the news that he was now an orphan.
Ezekiel had fallen asleep in one of the chairs, my sweater still wrapped around him and after running my fingers through his hair a few times I joined Alexander, holding one of his hands gently.
“He’s gone,” I whispered and Alexander nodded, “blood loss. They couldn’t help him.”
“I knew,” he whispered back, “I could feel it. I’ve lost my parents on the same day. How strange this is for me. I don’t… it hurts but I… I always knew that they wouldn’t live without each other. What do I do, Caelan?”
“Live. Keep living day by day. Take care of Zeke. I’ll be here to help. I can change my hours at the office so I’ll be home when he is from school. I have to stay on my visa for five years then I’ll be a citizen. Which means I have to work. But I can change everything to be here with him. Harvey plans to take over the dairy farm until Zeke is old enough if that’s still what he wants. Or we can sell it to Harvey and let Zeke plan his future. We’ll get it all figured out. But not tonight. No reason to do anything tonight. Your grandparents and my dad will be here tomorrow. Harvey and Bea will be here in two days. We need to plan two funerals and call Zeke’s school. We’ll figure it all out okay? Teddy is planning to stay longer so we have help.”
“I couldn’t do this without you.”
“You would never have to.”
We stayed in the hospital until Alexander felt ready to leave, Ezekiel asleep in his arms. Alexander decided it was best if we went to our house, not wanting to be in his parent's home right now and I agreed, taking over driving as Alexander was barely on his feet, his emotions overwhelming him to the point of exhaustion. As soon as we reached the house, I took Ezekiel inside as Alexander had fallen asleep, and tucked him in on the couch as there wasn’t a bed for him. I raced back outside and woke Alexander, helping him to the bedroom and out of his clothes, watching as he climbed into bed.
“Can I get you anything?” I whispered, kissing Alexander’s temple.
“Water.”
“You got it.”
I ran to the kitchen and got a glass of water before checking on Ezekiel who was sleeping soundly on the couch. Once I fixed his blanket I joined Alexander in the bedroom and climbed into bed, watching as he drank the entire glass before laying back down.
“I’m here,” I whispered again and Alexander nodded, “things will go back to our new normal. I promise.”
“What even is our new normal?” he sighed, pulling me close.
“Working in our careers again. Raising Ezekiel together. Planning our future. We’ve been together for a while now, so it’s safe to start thinking of the next steps. We’ve supported each other through two of the hardest moments of our lives. Our relationship is strong and stable.”
“Our new normal is raising a kid?”
“Well, yes. Did you think I’d make you raise Zeke alone?”
“Yes. Well… no,” he pressed our foreheads together with a sigh, “I’m just so confused. Should we leave New Zealand? Go back to Montana and be near your family?”
“No. This is our home. I want to be here, with you and Zeke. I belong here, not back there. Alexi, I know you’re scattered. But it’s all going to work out. I swear. I just want to make things easier for you.”
“This helps,” he rubbed my lower back gently with his fingertips, “having you with me. I need to get to my parents tomorrow for a few reasons. We need to get Scout. Ezekiel’s things. His bed so I can set up the empty room for him. Um… I need to let his school know he won’t be there for a few days. Contact the province to let them know what happened and turn over the paperwork to keep custody of Ezekiel. My parents had a living trust so anything they owned became mine as soon as they were gone. I don’t need to work with lawyers or anything. It’s all mine. I want to sit down with Harvey and decide what to do about the farm. I want Zeke to move away from being a farmer. My parents never wanted that for him. Do you know what he wants to be? You should have gathered tonight.”
“A police officer,” I whispered with a smile and Alexander nodded, “oh he’d be the best cop. With his gentleness, he’d be able to save people.”
“Exactly. I want him to follow that. I told you, I always thought of Zeke as my kid a bit because I was so much older than him. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a farmer, they’re necessary, but Zeke was only going to do that to make our parents happy. I want him to follow his dream like I did.”
“Then we make sure he does. Sell the farm to Harvey. It’s… yours now after all.”
“I know. I want to sleep, honey. Everything is muddled in my head.”
“Sleep. I’ll make us breakfast when we wake up. It’s four in the morning. No one will be mad if we sleep in late.”
I waited until Alexander drifted off before climbing out of bed and heading onto the deck off of the master bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind me. Doing some quick mental math, I called Cyrus, knowing he was still awake as it was late afternoon in Montana.
“Hey,” Cyrus sighed as soon as he answered, “Baba told me the news. What can I do to help?”
“How did things go with uh... I don't remember their name?” I changed the subject, sitting in one of the lounge chairs.
“Ah, they turned me down so I’m deciding what to do now. I don’t want the ranch. I’m giving it to Sunny and Cruz. They need the space. I’ll just keep living with Baba and Dad I guess,” he sighed.
“Ever wanted to live in a huge home in front of a river?” I laughed.
“Ha ha very funny. I have no skills that transfer to living in New Zealand.”
“Yeah, you do. You own a landscaping company. That’s a perfectly good career to have out here. You have a degree in agricultural management, idiot. Get a job in Auckland with the province or whatever it’s called. We both always talked about leaving, I’m trying to give that to you. I can help you with everything as far as getting your visa and a career. Cyrus… I need someone in our family with me and you’re my favorite.”
“You’re mine too,” he whispered, “are you sure, Caelan? This is terrifying for me to consider.”
“You’d have me and Alexi close along with Ezekiel who he now has to take custody of. He could use Uncle Cyrus to have fun with and I guarantee someone out here would find your ruggedness charming. It’ll be a better life than living with our parents forever and you can continue to get help out here. I’ll be there with you easier this way. We were meant to stay close, Cy. Of all our siblings, you and I are the closest. Even having twin sisters, our souls match. You’re my baby and I need you here with me. Please…”
“Okay,” he laughed softly, “I love that idea. But sell Papa’s house and help me get one in Taupaki. I don’t want to live half an hour away from you three.”
“Four. Alexi’s uncle Harvey is moving back to Taupaki to take over the dairy farm. He works on an oil rig.”
“Wait… really?”
“Yeah? Why do you sound so excited?”
“Could he get me a job on the rig?”
“Probably. Harvey is really nice. Why don’t I fly you out here for two weeks? You have a passport right?”
“Duh, we used to travel all the time. I keep it updated.”
“Come out here, meet with Harvey. I know he works on the rig about 8 months a year but he’s one of the top guys so I’m sure as a beginner you’d only be there a few weeks to a month then come back. Alexi was talking about building a few more things on the property. I’m wondering if we can’t build you a small home out here too. Somewhere separate but we’re still together.”
“I love that idea. Okay. Send me a ticket and I’ll be there. I also want to help support Alexi. I really like him. He’s so good for you, Caelan.”
I looked over my shoulder to find Alexander sitting up in bed, watching me talk on the phone and I blew him a kiss, smiling when he returned it, “I know. I love him, Cyrus.”
“Have you told him?”
“Not yet. But I will soon. Once things are calm.”
“Good. Talk soon.”
“Love you. Bye.”
“Love you too.”
I walked back into the bedroom and kneeled on the bed, setting my phone on the nightstand before gently placing my hands on Alexander’s shoulders with a smile as I straddled him.
“Cyrus wants to move out here,” I whispered, caressing his collarbone, “he wants to meet with Harvey about getting a beginner job on the oil rig. Are you okay with that? One of my brothers being here?”
“We need to buy him a modular home and drop it at the back right of the property since the left will be our pool and pool house. You never need to worry about my acceptance of our family living close by. It’ll help with Zeke as well. I was thinking… we’ll need to cancel our trip next fall.”
“I know,” nodding, I kissed him softly, “I hope you aren’t going to be out a lot of money.”
“A little but it’s okay. Cyrus doesn’t want your Papa’s house?”
“He doesn’t need all that space. It has six bedrooms. Insanity. So we sell that, use the money to get the house and pool, split it up between all the kids, and just be comfortable. We have a lot to do over the next little bit but we’re going to be okay. We have each other.”
“Always. Caelan,” he cradled my face, kissing me softly as the sun started to rise, gentle orange light spilling into the room, “I love you,” he whispered against my lips and I leaned back, “I’m not telling you this because of what happened or because I’m not thinking straight. I’m saying it because it’s true. I love you, Caelan Lucas Hope.”
“Oh Alexi,” I sniffled, kissing him a few times, “I love you too.”
“We’re going to figure all of this out together. Every step of the way.”
“I already promised that.”
“I was saying it more for myself.”
“Good.”
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