“Run! It’s going to get me!” Said a bystander.

“Ah! It’s in my cupboard!” Screamed another person.

“Matter, what are we gonna do?” Slinky asked.

“I don’t know but man is my stomach rumbling!” Said Matter.

A few days ago, The intrepid heroes were going about their day as usual. Another patrol, another normal day fighting crime. Their day would soon be flipped on its head, though, when the chief rang Slinky with concern.

“Gentlemen, we may have a problem on our hands. I’ve received some strange reports of some odd-looking beings around town. I need you to look into this for me.” The Chief explained.

“Understood, sir.” Slinky said before hanging up.

They spun the car around and made their way downtown to see what the ruckus was about when all of a sudden they ran into something that was in the middle of the street. Slinky slammed the brakes and got out to inspect what he hit when his jaw dropped to the ground.

“W-what am I looking at?” Slinky said in disbelief.

Matter walked over and, with a big smile on his face, said “Ooh! That looks yummy!”

“Why..does it look like a cheese cracker?” Slinky said.

Just as he spoke, the cracker groaned and stood up.

“It’s alive! I wonder if they taste better fresh?” Said Matter.

“Who or what are you?” Slinky asked.

The cracker made a sound as if to clear its throat and said “We are the Ritz. We’ve come to take over your world and create a new cheesy empire.”

Slinky leaned over to Matter and said “Is this guy serious?”

“Very.” The cracker said with a devilish tone.

A large ship appeared in the sky in the shape of a cracker box. It began to fire cheese shots towards the town but shortly after the police arrived with firepower of their own.

“Chief, we need to get that thing out of the sky. Do you have something powerful enough?” Slinky asked the Chief as he got out of a cop car.

“Sweet Jemima…boys, get me the rocket launcher!” The Chief said as he looked at the ship in awe.

One of the officers pulled a rocket launcher out of the back of their vehicle and handed it to the chief. He propped it on his shoulders and, after carefully aiming it, fired it. It flew through the air and directly hit the ship which started smoking and falling out of the sky. A loud bang could be heard in the distance as the ship crashed to the ground.

“Slinky, Matter, get your butts over there and take ‘em out!” Ordered the Chief.

“Yes sir!” They both replied.

They got back in their car and raced over to the crash site where they found the ship in a small crater that it had made. They got out and inspected it for a way inside when Matter found a panel on one of its sides.

“Hey, I think I found our way in.” Matter said.

“Nice, what have we got here?” Slinky said as he looked at the panel.

As he touched it the panel came to life and on its screen displayed a menu.

“Hey, I know that! That’s one of my favorite games, Galahad! Move over and let me play!” Matter said as he pushed Slinky aside and began to play the game.

After several moments, the screen changed to display text that said ‘You Won!’ and the door to the ship promptly opened.

“Well, I guess I can’t be mad at that.” Slinky said as they walked inside. 

They made their way to the bridge where they found several crackers pointing guns at them.

“Woah. Hang on, let’s talk this out.” Slinky said.

But it was too late. One of them fired a tranquilizer dart that lodged itself in Slinky’s leg. He collapsed to the ground completely knocked out as Matter whipped out a gun and tried firing a stun bullet at them. Unfortunately, he missed and the bullet ricocheted against a wall and came right back towards him knocking himself out instead.

After what seemed like an eternity, they woke up in a cell. As Slinky regained consciousness, he looked around to see where they were.

“W-why does it look like the walls are tiled and the floors are wallpapered?” Said Slinky as he held his head.

After a moment his vision cleared and he realized they were being held behind bars and saw Matter against the bars trying to escape.

‘Matter, what happened?” Slinky asked.

“Oh, you're awake. Well, you got tranqed, I knocked myself out and now we’re both stuck in here.” Matter explained.

“How brilliant.” Slinky said.

Slinky thought for a moment as he looked at the bars of the cell. Then he told Matter to move out of the way before stretching himself through to the other side.

“Huh. I guess these crackers didn’t think about that.” Said Matter.

Slinky opened the cell for Matter and they began to make their way back to the bridge. Along the way, they found what looked like an armory and took some weapons with them. They burst through the door to the bridge and began unloading on the crackers. It still wasn't enough though, since there seemed to be even more of them this time and they began to leap towards them. Slinky and Matter were knocked to the ground and the crackers began to pile on top of them.

“Cheese. Cracker. Cheese. Cracker.” They chanted as one after another stacked on top of them.

“Slinky, If this is the end, I just want you to know…I ate your special sub sandwich the other day by accident. I was just so hungry!” Matter said.

“First of all, not cool. Second of all, we’re not gonna die today.” Slinky said as he struggled.

He fidgeted around until he could reach his pockets and pulled out a small device. As he activated it, triumphant music played and a beam of light enveloped the room. 

“What’s with the music?” Matter asked.

“Dramatic effect.” Said Slinky as he grinned.

Then, as the light faded, a dog appeared in its place with guns in both paws. Everyone stopped and stared at the dog as it growled at the crackers.

Slinky made eye contact with the dog and said “Bob…go fetch.”

The dog suddenly opened fire on the crackers and, as he approached some, began to eat them.

“What in baby Jesus is going on?!” Matter said, dumbfounded.

Struggling to push the crackers that were on top of him, Slinky said “Oh, that’s Bob. He’s a special operative I recruited shortly after we apprehended that psychotic baboon thief. He comes in handy every once in a while.”

As they both freed themselves, they joined Bob and eliminated the rest of the crackers until the bridge was quiet with crumbs and cheese splattered everywhere. 

Matter walked over to the window and said “Uh oh. I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”

Slinky joined him by the window as they realized they were in deep space. Then Slinky approached the ship's control to try to figure out how to fly it. Before he could get very far, Matter pushed him aside and began to push buttons.

“Don't worry. If I can fly a ship in Galahad, this should be a piece of cake.” Said Matter.

“Wait! You don’t know what you’re doing!” Slinky said as he pushed away Matter.

He pressed a button and a robotic voice rang throughout the bridge.

“Select your destination.” The ship said.

Slinky inputted Earth and tried to activate it but nothing happened and the voice rang again.

“Sorry, I’m not sure I understand. Did you mean Earth?” the ship asked.

Slinky grumbled to himself and tried it again but the voice said “You pressed no. Please select your destination.”

“I pressed yes!” Slinky said in frustration.

“Allow me.” Said Matter sliding Slinky out of the way.

He selected Earth and confirmed the choice as the engines began to whirr. Then a countdown appeared on the screen with ten seconds on it.

They sat down and strapped themselves in as Slinky folded his arms with an annoyed look on his face.

“Look. Some people are good at some things and some people are just better at flying ships.” Matter said.

The ship lurched forward and accelerated at an enormous rate. Several minutes went by before the voice spoke again.

“Approaching Earth. Please remain seated until the ship comes to a stop.” Said the ship.

As the ship slowed down and they floated in front of Earth, the ship began to shake and alarms started going off.

“Ship integrity has been compromised. Engine failure is imminent. It was a pleasure flying with you.” The ship said as it spoke for the final time.

“Quick! This thing’s gonna crash! Let’s grab some space suits and get out of here!” Slinky said.

They put on suits they found on their way to the door of the ship and they hastily made their way out into space where they began to float towards Earth.

“Hey Slinky, if we fall to Earth, aren’t we going to, like, die?” Matter questioned.

“Don't fear bro. Bob can help us once again. Hold onto his body and don’t let go.” Said Slinky as he looked at Bob.

As they reached the upper atmosphere and gravity began to affect them, Bob released a large parachute as they slowly began to float down to Earth. After what felt like a few hours they could see the ground and they tumbled in some grass. They got up and took off the suits before making their way to the station to relay what happened to the chief when they stopped in their tracks.

People were screaming and crackers were rampaging the streets. Cheese was everywhere and several fires were blazing among some buildings. They looked at each other and then went back to their base as fast as they could. They sealed the entrance behind them and then contacted the chief.

“What is going on here?!” Slinky asked.

“Boys, After you guys left to investigate that ship, more arrived and they overpowered us. We were forced to retreat but there are still so many civilians in trouble. We need your help!” The Chief explained.

Slinky hung up the call and began to pace back and forth.

“What do we do? There’s too many of them to deal with.” Matter said.

Then Slinky stopped and looked over at a machine covered with a cloth with the letters P.C. partially visible. He uncovered it and turned it on.

“This is probably the most risky thing we’ve ever done. I don’t know what’ll happen to us. I’m not sure how our bodies will react to the machine since we already have powers. But this is the only solution I’ve got. Are you with me?” Slinky said as he looked at Matter.

As Matter was putting a sandwich near his mouth he stopped, looked at it, and then put it down.

“Wait for me, sandwich.” Matter said in a serious tone.

They walked through the archway of the machine as it glowed and began to rattle. They exited out the other side and suddenly they felt immense pain.

‘What’s going on?!” Matter said as he gritted his teeth.

I-I’m not sure. Let me run a quick scan.” Said Slinky as he painfully made his way over to one of the computers.

After a moment he turned to Matter and said “I think our bodies can’t handle multiple powers at once. We need to use our new powers quickly before they're gone!”

“In that case, open a live feed to the whole world.” Matter said.

Slinky was confused but didn’t have time to question it as he typed on the main computer to gain access to every screen in the world.

“Okay. We’re live. May I start first?” Slinky said.

Matter nodded and Slinky began to address the world.

“Attention Earth. My name is Slinky. Right now we are being invaded by aliens known as the Ritz. But don’t fear. We are going to fix this situation so please hang on for just a bit longer. Now, all of you crummy crackers, I want you to listen very carefully to what my partner Laughing Matter has to say.” Slinky said.

Matter took the microphone, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

His eyes then opened and he yelled “Prepare to die you delicious evening snacks!”

Slinky stopped the broadcast as he collapsed to his knees.

“Hey, the computer said my new power can control anything electronic. Yours is just to create noxious gas. I’ve got a plan. On the count of three, we will simultaneously withdraw all of our new power at once. I’m going to focus on destroying everything that the Ritz has including their ships and devices that they brought here while you focus on spreading your gas to every cracker on Earth and eliminate them.” Slinky explained.

Matter nodded as got into position. They both took a deep breath before Slinky began to count down from three. When he said go, they unleashed all the new power they had inside them at once and they grunted in pain. Around the world, machines and ships began to explode and fall out of the sky. Gas floated quickly around every cracker and enveloped them until they were killed. After several hours, the chief called the heroes and said that he received reports that all of the Ritz were taken care of. As they heard this, the last of their new power left them and they fell to the ground now weakened.

“H-hey. Matter. W-we did it.” Slinky said.

“Yeah. We’re so c-cool.” Said Matter as he coughed.

People all around the world cheered as they were saved and the entire police station celebrated as the chief put a plaque of Slinky and Laughing Matter on a wall that was visible to everyone that would walk through.

This wasn’t the end of our extraordinary heroes though. There was one last story that I have yet to tell. And this time, it was something they weren’t expecting. 

Truly, the end is near.