7.5-The hopelessness

Carson's pov

Ella's suggestion that Emerick might not hate me seems potentially true but the memory of yesterday leaves me unsure.

"Really? But why did he ignore me yesterday?" I ask for more clarification.

"Hm, maybe he was still embarrassed about the trip, so he was too shy to talk to you." She says trying to comfort me by finding an answer
and it works slightly but not quite.

Is Ella right? Was Emerick just too shy or too embarrassed to talk to me?

"You really think so?" I ask unsure and she nods.

"Yes, a lot of boys send mixed signals and that's so frustrating." She says a bit frustrated and I give her a side eye at the mention of the word guy but also the mystery as to how she knows that.

"How do you know that?" I ask her confused and her eyes widen slightly.

But she doesn't answer. I try to prop more information out of her but instead, she returns to the topic of Emerick.

"If I were me, I wouldn't take Emerick's ignorance of you as a sign he hates you. If you still think he does, double-make sure." She says trying to comfort me.

"Thanks, Ella, I'll try," I say with a small smile.

"I hope I'm right, next time please tell me what happens, ok? I swear I won't judge you." She says with her knowing eyes.

"Well, it depends if you'll tell me about that crush of yours." I tease and she lightly nudges me on the shoulder.

"Oh, stop it with that." She says a bit annoyed but flustered and I chuckle.

After that, we leave the commercial store and we go back our separate ways.

But as I walk I can't help but think about what Ella told me. Is she right that I'm assuming too quickly that Emerick hates me and that I should make sure?

But that Emerick might be embarrassed of last time makes me smile and flustered but the sad reality quickly makes me sad.

Emerick ignored me twice and that hurts.

But as much as it hurt maybe there is still hope and even better, there is still a chance for me to talk to Emerick.

He works at the convenience store in Ella's neighbourhood, so I can go whenever I want to.

Maybe I'll go tomorrow and see if Ella was right.

——————

Emerick's pov

Yesterday was my first break since starting to work and it felt good minus the disturbing thoughts about Carson.

But it's Monday now and I'm now back to work.

I just got back from my lunch break and my coworker Ritvy was covering for me while
I was on break but now we're altering and I'm covering for her.

I wait at the counter, waiting for the next client to come and unfortunately, the next client comes in earlier than I had hoped for.

The client seemed like a teenager but I didn't pay them any mind.

I wait for the person to be done getting whatever they want to buy on this hot gloomy day.

Eventually, they come to pay and I freeze once I notice who it is.

Carson? Again?

I thought last time was a coincidence but it can't be this time...he was here the last day I was working here.

He puts his stuff on the counter and smiles at me and I get this weird feeling.

Why is he smiling at me like that? He forgot about last time.

"Hi, Emerick." He simply says smiling and I frown unsure what to do.

I internally debate whether I should answer but I remain frozen but I get snapped out of it.

"Emerick? What are you doing? Make the kid pay." My coworker Ritvy says annoyed and I flinch.

Right, I'm on work duty, I have to scan his things. Doesn't matter how strange it is that Ritvy's back already.

I take his things and start scanning them and he looks at me confused.

"Emerick? Why are you acting like we don't know each other?" He asks hurt and confused and my blood turns cold for a second but I remind myself that I'm on work duty.

I avoid looking at him and ignore his questions even if every part of me wants to answer.

I finish scanning and look at the total.

"The total is 9,87 $, cash or card?" I simply ask as I've told plenty of other clients and he looks at me with a hurt look my heart cracks at that but I try my hardest to ignore it.

"Cash" He simply says in lower spirit than when he first entered. 

I hate that it's my fault but it's for the best, Carson is trouble, and Carson is confused.

He takes out the cash needed and I hand him the rest of the extra cash in return.

Before leaving, he looks at me one last time, which is an unfortunate silence but although every part of me screams to say something, anything, I don't find the courage to.

He seems to take it to heart and then takes his things and leaves.

Once he leaves, I release a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Who was that? He seemed to know you." Ritvy asks confused yet curious.

"It's no one important," I say nonchalantly but she looks at me skeptically.

I stare deeply at her and she does too, starting an eye contact context but it ends once we hear the bell of someone coming in.

I really hope she's not getting any ideas because I have a bad feeling about this.

——————-

Carson's pov

Ella wasn't right, Emerick really does hate me...

I can't believe he just avoided me again. Why is he doing this? I really don't understand. Other than the kiss, what did I do wrong? At this point, I would much rather he'd tell me what makes him hate me, not this cruel treatment.

"Hey, why are you looking so gloomy? It's hot outside." My brother suddenly asks me and that startles me.

"What? No, I'm ok." I say surprised and he looks at me skeptically.

"You would have to be as dumb as rock to not notice something's wrong with you. Come on cheer up! What's got you so gloomy?" He asks confused and a bit annoyed.

I look at him unsure whether I should tell him or not.

"It's about Emerick..." I say sadly and he frowns.

"Emerick? I thought you were over that kiss. It really isn't anything to bother with too much."
He says annoyed yet I know he's confused.

"Emerick works at the convenience store in Ella's neighbourhood and I saw him twice but he ignored me both times," I say sadly and he frowns.

"Surprising but that's not the point, so you're sad about that why? He's just a guy." He says harshly but he's confused.

"You know how I told you I liked him?" I say with a small voice and he nods.

"Yeah? What about that?" He asks confused but now curious.

"Well, I still like him." His eyes widen but his face softens.

"So like, you're heartbroken because he's been avoiding you?" He guesses unsure and I nod.

"Yes," I say sadly and he nods as if pondering something.

"I see..." He simply says still seeming like he's pondering something.

"Cayden, you're confusing me," I ask confused and he snaps out of whatever he was thinking about.

"What?" He asks annoyed but it comes off as harsh and I flinch.

"Do you have an idea what I should do?" I ask trying to find some hope.

"I don't know man, you must have freaked him out real bad by kissing him if he's avoiding you like that. Maybe he's homophobic." He suggests at first nonchalant yet he seems triggered by the word homophonic.

"Maybe..." I say hopeless.

"You said he works at the convenience store in your friend's neighbourhood?" He suddenly asks dead serious and I nod confused.

"Yes?"

"Good," He simply says and leaves.

I look at his back confused.

What was that about?

———————

Emerick's pov

I'm still bothered from yesterday but I continue to work as usual.

So far everything has been fine today, however upon noticing a familiar figure, my day is disrupted.

"Emerick, I heard from my brother you work here," Cayden says with a smile but it comes off as strange.

"Yes, I do?" I ask confused and then I realize my mistake once he smirks.

Ugh, I shouldn't have answered.

"It seems like you've made my brother sad and I don't like that. But I'm willing to give you another chance. Tomorrow's our birthday at our house and I'm inviting you for Carson, he'll be happy to see you but don't tell Carson you heard this from me. So, are you willing to come?" He asks with a dark threatening look and I freeze.

What?

Have I officially lost my mind?