SMACK
Keiko rocked to the side as her mother delivered another blow to her cheek.
“Where the hell have you been, you useless girl?”
Her mother’s monitor beeped faster the more agitated she grew.
“Who is that man you came with? Don’t think I don’t know!” she smirked, looking down at the girl. “Don’t think for one second anyone would want you! Who the hell do you think you are?!”
SLAP
“Why did you take so long to answer my call?”
Keiko ignored the woman. She knew very well that it didn’t matter what she said. No excuse was good enough for her mother. Not even death.
Doris stood on her knees from the elevated hospital bed. This way, she was a few inches taller than Keiko.
“M-Mrs. Matsuda please!” A nurse held Doris by the arms. “Please, you’ll have another attack if you overdo it again.”
Doris pushed the nurse away and grabbed Keiko by her hair.
“And whose fault is that?! Did you hear that, you useless bitch?! If your mother dies, it’s all your fault! It’s your fault!”
The nurse rushed out of the room. She’d come back with a sedative soon enough. Keiko held the roots of her hair so her mother wouldn’t yank out too much of it.
“You’re here to serve me and don’t you forget it! Sosuke moved us away because of you, and he only brought you back to serve me!”
Keiko had heard enough praise for her lazy brother. She was nothing but an inconvenience to both her mother and Sosuke. She would’ve given anything to receive the attention her older brother did. To be cared for by someone. Anyone.
At least, that was before. Back when she was still holding on to Shiro. Her best friend. The boy who she’d fought so hard to be reunited with. The same one who broke her heart and left her hours ago.
That Keiko would have given anything. But not this Keiko.
This Keiko never asked to be born. This Keiko has lost the will to carry on. This Keiko had no one to fight for and no one that fought for her.
The image of Sosuke, picking her up from school. Loading her on a bus with a plane ticket and their deranged mother. Memories of her begging him to bring her back home. Begging for him to give Shiro her letters. Her pleading was only met with indifference. Sosuke did not deserve praise. He didn’t care about mother, or father, or any of us.
“Then why isn’t he taking care of you, if he’s so great?”
The words came out on their own and she didn’t regret it one bit. What did she have to lose? She’d already lost the only thing she cared about.
Sosuke agreed to bring her and mother back from Spain on the condition that she be their mother’s sole caretaker. But that didn't matter now. She was free of this. She didn’t have a reason to fight anymore.
“What the hell did you say?” Doris looked down at her hands. Keiko watched as her mother picked up her IV pole and held it over her head.
“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY!?”
Keiko waited for the blow to come. She stood with her eyes closed. Maybe if she hit the right spot, Keiko could keep her eyes closed forever. Maybe no one would come to her funeral, like no one had come to her fathers. Maybe Shiro would smile for real again when he found out she was gone. Maybe things would be better for everyone if she would just disappear.
She waited for the pain. For the peace. But it never came. The room grew quiet. She opened her eyes and to her surprise, Tetsuya’s back was to her and he was holding the pole mother tried to beat her with in both hands.
“Please rest now, Mrs. Matsuda.” The nurse injected the sedative and Doris went limp in her arms.
Keiko’s body was lifted off the ground as Tetsuya pulled her into his arms like a child.
“We’re leaving now.” He said to the nurse as he pushed the door open with one hand while carrying her in the other with ease.
“I can walk.” Keiko pushed off the man’s chest, but he only held her tighter.
When they reached his motorcycle, he sat Keiko on the seat and leaned over her. She waited for him to give her the spare helmet, but he stayed that way. Just hovering over her as she sat in silence. After a while, he placed the spare helmet over her as he’d done before and took his seat in front.
She pointed the way to her house and only spoken when absolutely necessary. When they got to the long noisy road that led all the way to her house, she clutched on tight to Tetsuyas chest and cried. She cried loudly and childishly. She knew she was gripping Tetsuya tight enough to hurt him. But he didn’t say a word. She cried like that the entire way home.
When they arrived, Keiko didn’t move herself from Tetsuya’s back. He kept his hands gripped on the bike, though he had already shut it off. She waited until her tears ran dry before she finally released the man.
He waited until her hands were at her sides before he slowly lifted himself off his seat. He helped her down and gently removed her helmet for her, brushing her wild hair back behind her ears.
Keiko sat on her front porch and let the redness on her face subside.
“Are you going to be okay?” It was a complete contrast to the Tetsuya that had yelled at her on her first day of school.
“I’ll be alright.” Keiko shrugged her shoulders. “Mothers, am I right?”
Keiko let out a forced laugh that hurt her ribs, but Tetsuya only sighed and took a seat beside her on the porch.
“You don’t have to stick around here, you know.” She didn’t need pity, not from him.
“Has it always been like that?” He ignored her.
“No.” Keiko buried her face in her knees. “Mom sort of lost it after my dad died.”
Tetsuya leaned into her, as if waiting for more of the story.
“My dad died in an accident when I was little,” Keiko paused, putting together the pieces of her childhood she’d long forgotten.
“Dad was a nice guy, you know. Nice to everyone. He would bring friends over after work to drink.”
Keiko felt the corners of her mouth pull up. “We always had a full house. Mom was always upset by the noise. Papa was just friendly like that.”
“He sounds like he was very loved.” Tetsuya encouraged.
“Thing is... when he died, no one showed up at the funeral.” Keiko cradled herself. “No one came to give their condolences. No one cared to say goodbye, to see his family. To give back an ounce of what he gave.”
Keiko scrunched her nose, reliving the disgust she felt for other humans at that moment. “He was forgotten. He didn’t matter in the end.”
In the end, none of us matter. Keiko thought to herself.
Tetsuya stood up from the porch and kept his back to her.
“Maybe they just couldn’t say goodbye.” Tetsuya looked up at the sky. “Maybe they thought if they didn’t acknowledge his death, they could go on pretending he was still here. Maybe they’re all just waiting for him to call them up and say Hey! Let’s grab a beer.”
Tetsuya turned to look at Keiko, who was now standing up straight, staring at him in awe.
“Point is, kid, you matter to someone.”
Keiko felt the hot tears pouring down her face. She tried to wipe them off without him seeing.
“Who you calling kid, old man? I told you. I’m almost 21.” Keiko pouted.
“You’re still my worst student.” He said, patting her head.
“Eh? Your classes are hard!” She protested.
“Their core subjects, moron.” He argued.
The two laughed and talked some more about trivial things. She knew he was just trying to get her mind off of her mother. She felt guilty for taking up so much of his time.
“What about Ishida? Were you able to talk—” He cut himself off before he could finish the sentence.
“You mean Shiro?” She was surprised by his question.
“Teachers really do know everything, huh?” Keiko dug around in her backpack. “That reminds me. Could you be a dear and return this for me?”
“What the hell do you think I am, a delivery boy?” Despite his protests, he took the file from her hands.
“We talked…” she answered the question. “But it didn’t go well.”
He leaned into her as he’d done before. He was pretty interested in his student’s lives. He was either a really good teacher or just a nosy one.
Either way, Keiko didn’t want to talk about Shiro. Lucky for her, it was getting dark out.
“You should go inside.” He said, as if he’d read her mind. “If you need anything, just let me know.”
“Thanks, Teach.” Keiko gave the man a salute.
She picked her shoes up from the ground and pushed the sliding door open, watching Tetsuya as he drove out of sight.
“Shoes go over there.” She heard her brother yell from the kitchen.
She turned to look at him. He was sitting at the dinner table eating instant noodles, pointing toward the rack by the door. The smell of his dinner made her nauseas.
“I thought you guys were going to stay out there forever.” He teased with both hands cupping his face.
“Who knew Azuma was into younger chicks?” He said, spooning food into his mouth.
“It’s not like that, you idiot.” Keiko kicked her shoes off toward the rack.
“Someone’s in a bad mood.”
“I’m going to have a bath.” Keiko ignored him and walked toward the bathroom.
“Whoa Whoa,” Sosuke stood in her path. “Un momento, señorita.”
He held her chin and examined her face.
“That’s going to leave an ugly one.” He turned her face from one side to the other, examining the marks left on her skin from her latest meeting with mother.
Keiko slapped her brother’s hands away and continued to the restroom.
“I’m used to it.” She pushed past her brother and into her room. She grabbed her pajamas and some slippers and locked herself in the bathroom. She turned on the shower before taking off her uniform.
She rinsed her mouth in the sink and tossed her clothes on the floor before stepping into the shower.
Keiko held her head under the water and let it run down her face, washing away the memories of the day's events.
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