4-The onset of summer break

Emerick's pov

No matter what I try to come up with, there's nothing that can explain Carson's sudden urge to kiss me like that yesterday.

I just can't get over that, it was so unexpected, especially coming from Carson.

Carson can be naive and dense at times but it's not like him to go that far, yet he did and it's frustrating that I don't know why.

I really wonder what went through his head there. Was it a bet? Oh, I hope not. Although I doubt it, you never know.

Ugh, this whole thing has been driving me crazy and it was only 1 day, 1 day!

And what I really do not appreciate is that even if it was a day, with everything that happened on this school trip, he's threatening old feelings to come back and I don't like that, everything was perfect before the trip.

And then last night he dared to play with my heart even more. He had that sad look on his face as he went to sleep.

And although he hasn't talked to me since then, even as we woke up earlier, he had that sad look again and it pisses me off. I hate how I almost feel bad for lashing out at him even if I know it's him who went too far.

It's all so frustrating.

Regardless, this whole school trip has been a disaster and I'm just ready for it to end.

As disastrous as it has been, the good news is that as soon as we get back home, it'll be summer break and I won't get to see him until late August.

That's good for me because I don't know what I'd do if I had to see him again.

I know I'll probably not forget whatever happened on this trip, especially as he wasted what was probably both of our first kisses over something so stupid.

Through I hope to keep all this in the past.

I really should stop thinking about this, I'll just go crazy if I continue.

I take a deep breath and I take my language.

As the school trip is now coming to an end, it's time for each of us to take our bags and leave our cabins.

I take mine and take one last look at this cabin.

It really is a pretty cabin, it's such a shame that my memories of it will remain not good ones.

I get ready to leave but I'm not the only one getting ready to leave, Carson is too but I completely ignore him.

He's currently putting all the stuff he had unpacked from his bag back into his bag. I can't believe he did that, it's completely stupid and oh I also saw his pajamas. I can't believe he still has patterned pajamas, it looks like kids would wear them.

Another reason why Carson is embarrassing and I should not get involved with him.

Feeling uncomfortable at the sight of that, I open the door and leave.

As I left, I noticed that he turned his head at me and he looked at me with this sad and apologetic look on his face and I hate that. It makes me squirm in my pants. Stop making me feel guilty!

Regardless, I leave the cabin without waiting for Carson. I walk in the direction of the bus waiting for us where lots of students are waiting to get in.

Luckily it doesn't take long to get there, thank goodness because my bag is kinda of heavy, I'm not that strong.

I hand in my cabin key to one of the teachers and then I wait in the crowd of teenagers waiting to get on the bus.

I drop my bag on the floor to get rid of weight and it's a relief.

Waiting is tiresome and annoying, I just can't wait to get on that bus and get everything over with.

Eventually, the teachers finally allows us to get on the bus. So, I take my bag but I get surprised by the weight of it and it causes me to almost stumble.

I expect to almost fall but suddenly I feel the weight lifting off my shoulder, I look up and notice it's a guy my age towering over me who has taken my bag.

"Hey, there take it easy." He smiles charmingly and I blush slightly humiliated.

And upon looking at him, I noticed it was that guy that I sat with on the bus two days ago, Justin.

"I don't need your help, Justin," I say bluntly despite being a bit cut off guard by his weird nice act.

His big smile diminishes into a small smile.

"You sure about that?" He questions me with a small daring smile, how annoying.

"Yes," I simply say hoping he'll get the message that I don't want to talk and luckily it seems like he does.

"Well, have a nice summer." He says randomly sounding awkward as he gets into the bus.

How strange, he seemed so confident and then the next he seemed nervous.

He's not as jock as I thought he was, well especially compared to Carson's brother Cayden.

I thought he was the same as they are friends, but I guess not, he just seems nicer.

But I can't ignore that guy's ignoring height.

He was towering over me, well he's towering over everyone standing at 6.3 ft at only 16.

On top of that, he's actually quite handsome, I'm sure lots of girls love him. Too bad my type is not him but instead a certain childish guy.

Justin is already well built as a 16-year-old and is indeed quite tall, it's impressive and annoying. I don't know what thing he ate to get that tall because I wish I had gotten some of that food, that way I wouldn't be that small.

He has dirty blond hair with freckles and of course hazel eyes on top of that. He also has what others call a charming smile and he has the appeal of others due to that.

So yeah, he's automatically handsome but even I think he's objectively good-looking.

Too bad my type is not him but instead a certain childish guy.

Besides Justin is straight, why am I even thinking of him like that? That would be getting into another unrequited love, I've already got enough of that with Carson.

Ok enough about Carson, thinking about him makes me sick.

I get on the bus and try to find a spot where there is no one there and luckily I do.

I put my stuff down and sit on the seat where there's a window.

I take off a book and my headphones, then I start to try reading even if I still hear a lot of chatter despite having headphones.

I luckily manage to read a few pages of my book but then I notice louder noises close to me and I take off my headphones.

Someone gets pushed to sit next to me and my eyes widen once I notice who it is, Carson.

"Cayden! I told you it wasn't a good idea!" Carson complains embarrassed as everyone looks at the scene interested.

"Nah, I think you'll thank me later." Cayden smirks and I glare at him.

What is he thinking? I thought he was supposedly on my side. Then why is he pushing Carson to sit with me?

"Cayden..." Carson says as a last plea but Cayden moves on from the row laughing alongside his girlfriend that now joined him.

Then there's dead silence between us despite all the chatter around us.

Though there's no doubt there's tension between us and I already hate it.

I thought it was over but now I have to deal with Carson for another 5 hours. What a pain. Why must I be stuck with him?

Hating this tense atmosphere, I try to put my headphones on and read my book once again but I get interrupted.

"I'm sorry...Emerick..." He just plainly says apologetically and I flinch.

Oh wow, he's sorry now? But sorry about what? Sitting together? The kiss?

Although I almost give in to his sad expression, I resist and put on my headphones.

And although seeing his sad expression bothers me, I ignore it.

I can't give in to this again, I already did too much.

———————-

A few hours have gone by and there is not much time left on the road.

Although Carson and I did not talk, I have now another pressing issue.

It wasn't too long ago but Carson fell asleep, at first he had his head leaning on the seat but a minor bus turbulence caused his head to fall on me.

By that I mean, he's now sleeping on my shoulder and I don't know what to do.

It's so awkward and I feel uneasy but what I hate right now is that it makes me
flustered and I shouldn't be. I shouldn't feel embarrassed that he's sleeping on my shoulder.  Ugh, I hate this, I hate that Carson's warmth on me is tingling my skin.

Gosh, I really can't wait for this trip to be over...