Darkness. It enveloped my body like a cocoon.

Was I drifting along the space of nothingness? Streaming down the sea of souls? Or am I drowning in the River of Styx? Either way, I feel nothing. Will this become my forever? My happily-ever-after?

At least I’m not suffering. Or at least, I think I’m not.

“She’s not going to make it…” I hear a voice.

Was that a doctor? Did someone have the gall to take my puddle of a body to the Emergency Department? Does this mean I’m on life support?

“Please, there has to be something you can do!” another voice screamed.

The sound of a woman. Possibly a nurse. I didn’t know that they cared so much for a dying patient. I thought it would just be another day at work. Maybe not everyone is desensitized to death.

“My lady, please open your eyes!” the female voice screamed again.

My…lady…? If only that voice knew about my past, she wouldn’t be calling me no lady. However, that nurse sounds awfully desperate. I don’t think this is the right profession for her if her emotions are out of control like that.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing else we can do for her. I suggest preparing a funeral,” the doctor’s voice sighed.

Funeral? Who in their right mind would arrange a funeral for a stranger? Is this a new benefit for the homeless? No, that can’t be right…

As far as I know, I don’t have anyone who cares for me enough to arrange any such thing. So why are these people talking about funeral arrangements? Did the state see my bank account and figured to send my soul off with one last hoorah?

That also makes no sense. Uncle Sam would sooner burn my ashes into nothingness before arranging a funeral for its fallen citizen, especially if that citizen has no family or Power of Attorney. My money is forfeited. My vegetable state can’t tell anyone how to arrange anything.

Not like I need the money where I’m going anyway.

“Please, please… I’ll do anything just to see your bright and cheery smile again. I’ll prepare all your favorite treats and be your shoulder to cry on when you’re lonely!” the nurse’s voice pleaded. “Please don’t die on me, Lady Fantasia!”

…what? Who the fu—?

My eyes shot open. Everything was hazy and barely visible. Hues of yellow and green clouded my vision. Blinking a couple of times, my vision cleared up. Green, laced drapes covered the canopy, and yellow walls surrounded me.

I shot up from the bed. This looks way too fancy to be a hospital room. I don’t hear beepings. I don’t even see medical equipment anywhere. My left arm, where my good vein is, doesn’t feel as if a butterfly needle pierced it.

Which means I was never given fluid.

Which also means there’s no way I’m in a hospital.

Which could mean…

A shiver went down my spine as I tore down the drapes from the bed. Wrapped around them, I panicked and kicked until the sheets came off of me. This caused me to fall to the ground.

Standing up, I huffed and puffed as I looked around. Standing in front of me was, in fact, a doctor. Standing next to him, a maid?

They stood there, frozen in place, as if they’d seen a ghost. I could almost see their eyes dilate.

“L-Lady Fantasia?” the maid stammered.

“Who are you referring to when you say that name?” I asked her.

The maid put her hands to her mouth, eyes watering from the shock. Is what I’m asking that surprising?

“My lady… Thank Goddess Diana…” she breathed. “You’re alive…”

The maid sunk to the ground. She sniffled and cried her eyes out. I felt taken aback by her and stepped further away. The doctor noticed my weariness and shook his head as if trying to regain his composure.

“My lady, do you know where you are right now?” he asked.

“No, I don’t,” I replied.

“I see…” he said. “What about your name?”

“My name is Diana,” I answered.

The room went strangely silent. The sniffling maid looked up from her tear-filled palms and gave me a saddened gaze.

“My lady… Your name is Fantasia Everdeen. You’re a noble lady of the Proscotti Kingdom,” the maid explained between sniffles.

“...Who?” I asked.

This maid looks as though they could drown in the tears that they’ve cried. The doctor obviously has a somber look on his face.

I’m so confused.

My eyes caught a glimpse of a mirror to the right of me. I quickly make my way towards it, hoping to piece everything together.

Just to lose all the pieces at once.

I’m different. I don’t look like me at all. Long, foxy silver hair, deep amethyst eyes, button nose, freckles that cross the bridge—cheek-to-cheek. All that compliments my caramel skin tone. This isn’t me.

Is this Fantasia…?

I jump, fear taking over. No, I’m not Fantasia. I’m Diana! I hold onto myself, shivering uncontrollably. This person isn’t me! I’m not them!

“Lady Fantasia!” the maid exclaimed, trying to get up.

“Don’t come near me!” I screamed.

The doctor gives me a worried look, and the maid becomes taken aback by my sudden outburst.

“Lady Everdeen, please calm down,” the doctor says, slowly making his way towards me as well.

“I said, don’t come near me!” I screamed again, grabbing the closest object and flinging it in their direction.

It was a bulky item. I didn’t even bother looking at it. As it slammed onto the floor, the sharp pieces flew everywhere. It sounded like glass. Not like I truly cared or anything. However, it looked as though the object held some type of significance since the two individuals in front of me froze.

“Oh no!” the maid yelled.

She ran to the pieces and started picking them up desperately—and I’ve just about had it.

I pointed at the door, “Leave!”

“But my lady—!” I cut the maid short.

“Get out!!” I belted.

Sobbing uncontrollably, the maid rushed out with as little pieces as she could carry. The doctor made his way out shortly after. Finally, being alone, I became alone with my thoughts.

I couldn't believe it. First, I was Diana. Now, I'm Fantasia. I was just minding my business, floating around in my vast sea of nothingness, just to be given a brand new life. Just like that? I didn't want to have a brand new life. I just wanted to die.

Gripping the silver hair that dared to tread on my back, I screamed bloody murder, “What the hell is happening?!”

—

Nights turned to days and vice versa. I don’t know how long I’ve been cooped up in this room. I’ve never left that spot on the floor after that day. Every time a knock would come at the door, I would scream for them to go away. There would be protests, but then I would return the favor by throwing yet another object.

The sound of crashing, breaking, and shattering would get them to leave me alone. Even when it would seem that the doctor was hoping to come in so he could evaluate my wounds, I still wouldn’t let them in.

I couldn’t bring myself to let anyone in. That would mean that I had come to terms with the fact that I’m no longer Diana but Fantasia.

This is so creepy.

I’m pretty sure that I’ve died. How am I alive?

Thoughts were spinning in my head—scenarios swirled. How could this have happened? I shouldn’t be breathing, but here I am, drawing breath. I shouldn’t be seeing, but here I am, catching the sun’s rays through this bedroom.

My brain couldn’t cope. My soul was already beaten and battered by my old life. Now I was given a new one? For what reason…?

My mind went blank. Nothingness took over again. It’s been happening ever since I’ve come to this body. My body would go still, and my head would get heavier. The will to live on would leave my body for a certain period of time. The only way to stop this feeling of impending dread was to lie down on the floor.

So I did—curling up next to the unforgiving mirror, my body felt relief on the cold hardwood floor. I close my eyes, tears streaming down as I accidentally drift off into a deep slumber.

Ah, this familiar space. I’m drifting again. Maybe this time, I can truly die. I can leave this hellish nightmare behind and just disappear.

I felt a little tug and a soft voice, “You’re so pitiful, my dear.”

It startled my whole being. I opened my eyes in this empty space and darted in the direction of the tugging.

It was Fantasia. She was drifting as well, but almost as if she had full control. The thought of her being in that body, her own, felt so natural and free. I was jealous.

“Fantasia?” I asked.

“In the spirit,” she giggled.