Chapter 6

“Remember when the director was talking about how the reason that he titled the film ‘Delusion’ was because of Seo Kang, and I said I had no idea what the puppy-shit he was blabbering about? I feel like I actually understand now.”

‘Puppy-shit’ was just their cuter way of saying ‘bullshit.’ A euphemism, if you will.

“What the puppy-shit are you talking about?”

“For the first time, I looked into his eyes for more than 10 seconds. I’m sure it was the first and the last. I’ve never felt like my soul was being sucked out by someone’s eyes like that before. ‘Delusion’? Alright. I get it. His energy and aura are so overwhelming. I guess this is what a real superstar is supposed to be like.”

Feeling like your soul was being sucked into those black holes he had instead of eyes was nothing new to Jihee. How in the world did I say those things to his face? I guess hindsight really is 20-20. That was audacious and crazy of me.

While Jihee was giving herself a little validation, Haegeum said something that struck her.

“Oh, and he was looking for you.”

What? Who was? No way...

“You mean Seo Kang?”

“Yup. He looked at me with those dreamy eyes and asked ‘Is Miss Yoo Jihee here today?’ He even knows your name!”

“Oh. That’s probably because we ran into each other that one time. Remember I told you? Before the interview?”

“What do you mean you ran into each other?”

Ran into his crotch. I mean, his lips. Damn it. I’m thinking about it again.

“Because of the interview questions. And what do you mean, dreamy eyes? You’re making that up.”

“I’m not making it up! Look, he was like, ‘Isss... Miss Yoo Jiheeee here today?’”

Haegeum dramatically softened and squinted her eyes to try and imitate Seo Kang gaze.

“Um, whatever you’re doing, I’m not buying it. You’re definitely making this up.”

“You know you’re really consistent in not trusting people. I’m your friend, girl! You can trust me.”

“Maybe you can help me trust you by taking some acting classes first.”

Just then, a dreamy bright light flashed from Jihee’s phone.

That’s weird. Why did that feel dreamy? This doesn’t feel good.

It was a text from an unsaved number.

-How’s this Saturday at 8?

Jihee knew. She knew whose number it was that she hadn’t saved in her phone. On purpose. And she knew what that text message meant.

Seo Kang had never nullified their agreement. He hadn’t just dismissed her as a stupid mistake.

Jihee was at the point where she was about ready for closure, to turn the page. I’ll lose face for a bit and be done with it. So what! Or not! Whatever. That was her motto when dealing with these things.

But she had forgotten that things always came when one least expected it.

She had no more desire. She had no more will. Yet at the heels of this unexpected opportunity was one thing: hesitancy.

Desire, will, and even her confidence had left her, leaving behind only one thought:

A one-night stand with Seo Kang... Can I handle it?

Ten years ago, Jihee turned 20. It felt like it hit her out of nowhere. And so did he. He was different than the other senior students. Clean-cut, good-looking, popular, of course. All the new freshman girls looked at him in awe, she remembered.

Bringing up her memory of him also brought back the musty stench of cigarettes and alcohol that reeked from his place. That was the place where she first lost her innocence.

She had mistaken him for some poignant thinker who was so deep into life and art, rather than seeing him as the egotistical primate that he really was.

The day he first had her was painted with the smell of alcohol and cigarettes, rather than love and satisfaction.

He lured in the hungry child with food and alcohol, and for a man who so deeply agonized over life and art every single day, he no longer wasted a single thought on Jihee after that night.

Scandalous rumors like ‘he screwed so-and-so, he’s going out with so-and-so’ would let Jihee know he was still actively luring in other hungry souls to his filthy den.

Her name was forever inscribed onto the list of girls he had screwed, an exclusively filthy blacklist.

That was what a one-night stand was to Jihee. It was synonymous with ‘the first time.’ It meant the murky stench of alcohol and cigarettes. And just like that, the flowers from her garden of innocence would be plucked one by one.

But losing her innocence meant gaining other things, too. One of which was a mirror that allowed her to look into a man’s heart, as well as a mirror to look into her own heart.

If you could see it, it would be easy. And if it were easy, you could control it.

But Jihee couldn’t see Seo Kang. Which was why he wasn’t easy, and why she had no way of controlling him.

Standing in front of Seo Kang made the mirror to her soul foggy with steam. That was why it had to be just one night with Seo Kang, and why she started to fear it.

The mass and volume of a man’s interest was measurable by the frequency with which he called or contacted you. The bigger his interest, the more often he wanted to talk to you- whether the object of that interest was a girl’s heart or body.

But Seo Kang had contacted her on the basis of their mutual agreement, out of obligation, per say. This wasn’t something that was measurable in the first place.

How... neat. Cool and clean.

Well, then, I can just do the same. A neat, cool, and clean one-night with Seo Kang.

I am going to make it the most erotic, sexiest night ever with the man that is the object of every woman’s desires. This will mark a big cornerstone in my sex life.

After pep-talking herself, she responded.

-Sounds good.

No turning back now.

Seo Kang texted back immediately. It was hard to believe this was coming from the guy who hadn’t given her any gesture, reaction, or form of contact until now.

-I’ll pick you up. Address?

She sent him her address. No reason for me to turn down his offer. Superstar Seo Kang is going to personally come and pick me up.

So long as it isn’t violence or needles, there’s no reason to turn down what a man offers. It was a kind of principle that Jihee went by.

Should a man offer a gift, receive it. Should a man take you out for a meal, eat it. And if he offered you a glass of wine, enjoy it.

But if a man offered his heart… well, if the man in question was in the “fling” category and not the “serious relationship” category, then they should be considered just as dangerous as violence or needles. That was where you refuse. It went against the rules.

Especially if it was a one-night stand, there should be absolutely no give or take of emotions. Even more so if it was a man as mysterious and vague as that steamy mirror.

The only thing you needed to give and take during a one-night stand was ‘killer sex.’ Nothing else.

***

“You got a date, huh?”

Ko Bongsoon, Jihee’s roommate and childhood friend practically since birth, stood next to Jihee as she meticulously applied her makeup.

Bongsoon’s body language made it clear that she wasn’t going anywhere until after she was done interrogating Jihee.

“You’re bored, aren’t you? Are you not seeing Kangmin today?”

This girl had the son of a conglomerate chasing after her for her hand in marriage yet there she was, picking on her friend like she had nothing better to do.

“Yoo Jihee puts on a face mask before putting on her makeup. Why? So her makeup looks better? So her skin looks moist, glowy, and perfect? You know how my knee starts to ache right when it’s about to rain? It’s the same thing.”

“Is that so?”

“It is. It’s a sign. The only way this story is headed is that Jihee is about to see a man that’s very, very special. Am I right or am I right?”

Yippie-yi-yay! Ko Bongsoon hit the nail on the head!

“You know what… we’ve lived together for way too long. I think it’s about time we go our own separate ways. What do you think? You need to hurry up and marry Lee Kangmin so you have other things to do rather than invade my privacy.”

“I’m gonna be by your side ‘till the day we die, sister. Your privacy is mine to devour.”

“No wonder Kangmin hates me.”

This is why Lee Kangmin always gives me a sour look. His girl loves me way too much.

“So, who exactly are you seeing?”

“Alright, I’m seeing a guy. It’s a date, happy? Why else would I be trying so hard to put on this face?”

A date with none other than the Seo Kang.

If Ko Bongsoon found out, she would start foaming at the mouth. And if she knew exactly what was going to go down when we met, she would faint with foam in her mouth.

“Who is it?? Tell me about him. I can already tell he’s someone special by the way you’re doing your makeup.”

I think it’s about time Ko Bongsoon and I got a divorce.

“This is me trying not to be the uglier one, okay?”

Given that Seo Kang’s beauty was unmatched, Jihee had to pull out the big guns.

“Heyyyyy, so he’s incredibly good-looking. Cool. What else? Spit it out, girl.”

“You’re not Conan O’Brien and this isn’t the Tonight Show, OK? I’ll tell you later.”

“You always make me the one with the cheap mouth. You make me spill my beans and eat them with your dinner every night, while you keep yours packed so tight and hide them away as if you’re trying to let them ferment for God knows how long. When am I ever gonna get a taste?”

“Sweet baby Ko Bongsoon, are you upset? Throwing a tantrum now, are we?”

Jihee put on a rose-colored lipstick and smacked her lips. Her eyes then caught the dress she had taken out of her closet in the mirror.

It was a burgundy dress with buttons down the front, from the neck down to the hips, and it hugged her body in all the right places to show off her curves.

It accentuated her figure without being too in-your-face or suggestive - it was just the right amount of subtlety. It was Jihee’s go-to dress. It was THE dress.

She put on a black coat to cover the dress. The dress would soon become undone by Seo Kang to reveal what lay underneath.

What lay underneath would also become undone, wouldn’t it?

“Be good watch the house, Kkobong~”

Bongsoon hated being called ‘Kkobbong,’ which was why it was so much more satisfying for Jihee to say.

“I’m not your pet dog, you know! I need a little respect, here!”

Yet she follows me to the door with those puppy eyes to see what shoes I decide to put on. You sure you’re not my little puppy dog? This is why I adore you.

“OK, I need your help. These heels or these heels? Which ones would you pick?”

“You owe me a whole chicken for this. This one!”

Bongsoon pointed to the black, strapped high heels. You had to undo a buckle to take them off. They were the same ones Jihee had chosen.

There was a reason Jihee had been leaning toward those particular heels. The longer it took to take them off, the more room there was for the suspense and expectations to grow.

Like the puppy dog she was, Bongsoon shouted out to Jihee as she exited the door.

“You won’t be home until TOMORROW, right?”

“I really want you to think about our divorce, Bongsoon. This is really an invasion of my privacy.”

“I’ll be ready to eat some chicken when you come home tomorrow. Good luck!”

The door slowly closed on Bongsoon’s excited face.

Jihee started to rush down the stairs of the villa. Then, she reminded herself, ‘keep it classy, keep it classy’ and started to slow down her steps. Her heels clicked and clacked elegantly on each step with her more refrained attitude.

Each step was careful and calculated.

***

As she exited the building of the villa, headlights flashed at her from afar to summon her, like a lighthouse guiding her in its direction in a sea of darkness.

As she got closer, she realized the lights were coming from a Lamborghini sports car. She could feel hundreds and thousands of dollars being washed down the drain by just looking at it.

Jihee wondered... if the guy really loved and cared for his car, it would show his sense of pride, whereas if it was just a superficial or material thing, the guy was probably just a douche trying to compensate for something. But someone like Seo Kang surely wouldn’t feel the need to show off with a car.

But a man’s car was often a good indicator of the owner’s personality. A sports car, for example, would indicate an aggressive and competitive personality. Sigh. If only it were that easy.