Hana ran from the library and leaned up against the wall to catch her breath. She reacted so childishly, but she couldn’t help it. She just gets flustered around Shiro.
“But of course, he didn’t remember me.” Hana smiled something sorrowful.
Why would he remember you? You are nothing to him. Her inner voice taunted.
Her vision blurred, and she felt her body go numb. Oh no, it’s happening! She put her back against the wall and shut her eyes.
Hana felt a hand wrap itself in hers and another over her shoulder. Her eyes popped open as the foreign touch quickly brought her back to reality.
“Just breathe.” Said a girl with long wavy hair. Concern spread across her face. “You’re okay, you’re safe. Breathe.” She repeated over and over.
Her voice was loud and not exactly soothing. But it worked. Hana was too shocked to continue her meltdown.
The girl let go of Hana’s hand, sensing that the moment had passed. “My mom gets panic attacks, too.” She rested her hand behind her back and leaned on the wall beside her.
All she could do was look down in shame. No one’s ever noticed her episodes before.
“Was it that obvious?” Hana’s eyes fixed on the floor.
“Nah, I’m just good at sensing these things.” Keiko winked, standing directly in front of her.
She was tall for a girl, at least a foot taller than Hana was. She didn’t have the body of a high school student either, though she was wearing a uniform. Her curvaceous figure could easily be mistaken for a professor.
Hana noticed she only wore one gold pin on her vest. At orientation, she learned the pins represent your year. Gold pins are for third-year students.
“Are you really a high school student?” Hana accidentally said out loud.
“S-sorry!” Hana said, turning away from the girl.
The redheaded girl giggled to herself. “Well, what’re you apologizing for?” She bent down to Hana’s height.
Hana didn’t reply. She felt herself turning red again.
“Stop that!” said the girl, folding her arms against her chest. “You’ll get eaten up alive if you continue that way.”
The girl brushed Hana’s caramel-colored hair out of her face and clipped something on each side of her head.
“There.” She stood up when the bell rang. “Don’t hide those pretty eyes anymore.”
The girl walked away and waved goodbye without looking back.
Makoto walked out of the library. “Let’s get to class.” She called for Shiro to follow.
The two walked past her, not noticing she was there. It’s the same as back then.
When they were children, Shiro would often walk past her. She could never work up the courage to speak to him.
Even though they went to the same elementary school and the same middle school after that. He was always just out of reach.
“Ishida,” Hana said, too low for him to hear. She reached out for him and grabbed the back of his shirt without thinking. “ISHIDA!” she said again, this time loud enough to catch the attention of several other students.
Shiro and Makoto both looked back at her. Their expressions were both startled and confused.
For a while, Hana kept silent. Embarrassed by her outburst. Her body went numb again. Just breathe, the redhead’s voice echoed in her head. You’re okay.
“L-let’s have a good year,” Hana said with a bow.
She didn’t stand or look at him. She felt a hand on her shoulder. He bent to her height.
“Yeah,” he smiled at her.
She returned his smile as her heart threatened to pop out of her chest. It was beating so hard she was sure he could hear it.
“I’ll see you in class,” he waved in Makoto’s direction.
“C’mon, I’ll walk you. If you don’t mind.” Shiro gestured for Hana to lead the way.
She willed her legs to move. When they did, she couldn’t be sure they were going in the right direction. She led him up the stairs to the third floor.
“Paint club is pretty straightforward.” Shiro broke the silence. “Makoto is the President. She makes all the decisions about what we will be painting. Mostly watercolors.” He explained.
Hana nodded along, though she was mostly too afraid to look at him at all.
“We are expected to bring our own supplies, which can be a little pricey. But you won’t have to worry about that.” She heard him say. “Since you won’t be around long, anyway.”
The words struck her like a knife in her chest.
“M-maybe I’ll join the paint club too.” Hana mused.
“The student body president implemented a one club per term rule this year.” He countered, “Besides, it’s better if you stick to one club. You’ll have more time to focus on your major.” Shiro smiled a strange forced smile.
“I see,” she stopped at her class. “If the promotion goes well, I may just transfer to the paint club and you’ll be stuck with me.” She tried to joke, but the words sounded awkward coming from her.
When he didn’t respond, she looked up at his face. He looked horrified.
“I-I didn’t mean —”
“Ms. Ishimoto!” her teacher called out to her, “Have a seat.”
The door closed on Shiro before she could thank him for walking her.
How could I mess this up? She sat in her seat and prepared for the panic to set in.
Shiro went about the rest of his day on autopilot. After school, he waited at the bus stop as usual. Luckily. there were no other students waiting to board. Many of them probably had weekend plans with friends. He was happy to have the time alone to think.
The man Keiko was involved with turned out to be Hana’s teacher. That explained the special treatment she was receiving from Mr. Azuma.
Is Keiko really that kind of girl?
If the school finds out, she’s risking expulsion. Not to mention costing two teachers their jobs. Is she really that reckless with other people’s lives?
Shiro thought back to the Keiko that was his best friend. The one who spent hours reading his stories and decorating his notebooks. The same Keiko that abandoned him six years ago without saying a word.
“I guess she is.” Shiro didn’t know what kind of person Keiko was now. But one thing was certain: he couldn’t avoid her forever.
“Time to rip off the band-aid.” He stood up and boarded the bus.
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