Read Attention What If :: Chapter 13

POV: Skylar

Have you ever wondered why people dedicate a whole day to giving thanks? Like, shouldn't we be thankful all the time? I've always wondered what the real point of thanksgiving is. Is it a corporate scheme to make us spend more money? Is it an excuse to see family you haven't seen in a long time? Is it really about giving thanks?

Maybe it's a mixture of all of the above.

"Mom! Skylar isn't helping set the table!" Oli shouted.

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

"Shut up you brat."

"Troll."

"Gremlin."

"Witch."

"Enough! Skylar, help your sister set the table."

"Ugh! Fine." I get up from the couch and walk over to help.

Oli sticks her tongue out at me.

I glare at her.

Some things never do change.

It's kind of weird seeing my once-baby sister all grown up. Now that she's older, we look a lot more similar than I realized. Puberty really did a number on her. I can't believe she's going to be graduating high school this year.

Mostly because she skipped a grade but still impressive.

"What?" She asks when I've been staring too long.

"Nothing," I go back to setting the table.

"Hey," she says.

I look up at her.

"I missed you too." She smiles.

"Please," I scoff. "I did not miss you."

"Oh yeah?"

She chases me around the table to try and tickle me. Dukin gets all excited from where he lay on the floor and starts chasing me too. They tackle me to the ground and the dog happily licks my face as I fight off my sister in a fit of laughter.

My mom clearing her throat causes us to break apart.

"Not that this isn't nice, but everyone is going to be here soon. Finish setting up please." She says.

"Fine," Oli and I say in unison.

I wash my face and resume setting up.

A knock at the door draws our attention.

"I got it!" I call as my mom checks on the turkey.

I open the door to Jade holding up some side dishes.

"My aunt is making me move the food over. I still don't see why Kenzie can't do it." Jade sighs.

"I can help." I offer.

"Thanks." She smiles.

So she sets the food down on the table and I walk across the street to help her get the rest.

"Well if it isn't my favorite love birds," Jade's dad pats us on the shoulder.

I shoot Jade a look and she gives out a nervous laugh.

I can't believe she hasn't told them. But then again to be fair, I haven't told my family either.

We grab the food and quickly walk outside.

"Jade!" I say once we are alone.

"I know, I know, but I've just been so busy and too depressed to tell them. Have you told yours?"

"No," I admit.

"Should we just pretend that we are still together so things won't be awkward?"

"I think we should tell them." I sigh.

She pouts.

She's so cute when she does that.

"When?" she asks.

"I don't know." We walk into my house to set the food down.

"Morning Jade!" Mom calls.

"Technically it's the afternoon already." Jade points out.

"Wow, that late already? Well, we won't have to wait much longer. Olivia lock the dog up please."

"Okay!" Oli calls.

"Not in my room!" I call as I walk back outside.

"Hey!" Vida pulls up to my house.

"Hey!" I run into her arms as soon as she gets out of the car.

Vida isn't close with her family, so I invited her to our thanksgiving. Her plane must have just landed.

"You should have called me." I hug her tightly.

"I wanted to surprise you," she pulls out some flowers.

Jade scoffs in the background.

Vida and I aren't technically together yet, but we might as well be. I haven't committed to her yet, mostly because I'm still healing a little. Darleen says I should take my time before jumping into another relationship and I agree. I want to figure myself out before I dedicate myself to anyone yet.

"Thank you!" I grab the flowers.

"Uh hello, still need help moving food here." Jade butts in.

She's so cute when she's jealous.

"I can help," Vida offers.

"Oh, I'm sure you can," Jade snarks.

Vida and I roll our eyes before giggling.

"Come on, let me put these flowers up and we can finish moving the food."

So we go back into the house and I put the flowers in a vase.

"Hey mom, you remember Vida, right?"

"Oh yeah, I do. Nice of you to join us, Vida. I hope you're hungry."

"Sure am, Skylar told me all about your famous turkey."

"It's not all that now, but it is good."

"I guess I'll have to be the judge." Vida grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers.

I giggled and blushed.

"Let's go!" Jade snapped at us.

"Coming!" I call before turning to leave.

Mom gives me a questioning look but doesn't comment on it.

We walk back over to Jade's house and I nearly get knocked over by Jean. Aka Kenzie's girlfriend. She's... uh... something else that's for sure. She has a short pixie cut, black hair, and brown eyes. She's all tough looking and rough around the edges. The girl has a bad potty mouth and has a habit of saying things that are better left unsaid.

"Watch it!" I complain.

"You watch it, I don't have eyes on the back of my head." She snaps at me.

Needless to say, I don't like her very much.

Definitely, one thing I didn't miss.

"You shouldn't be standing by the door."

"You should knock."

"Girls, behave," Aunty called.

I roll my eyes before pushing past her and walking into the house.

Jean flips me off when Aunty isn't looking.

Jade glares at her.

Vida flips her off back.

"Hey Aunty, this is Vida. My friend." I say.

"Best friend," Vida corrects me.

Jade once again scoffs.

"Nice to meet you, Vida, now let's get a move on. I sure am hungry."

So we move the rest of the food over with the help of Kenzie and the evil one, I mean Jean.

With everything going on Jade and I didn't get a chance to tell anyone we were broken up so this happened.

I was sitting next to Vida and Jade. Vida kept jabbing me in the side, causing me to giggle. Jade angrily stabbed at her food. Jean picked up on the disconnect and said,

"Oh my god, did you bring your side chick to thanksgiving?"

Mom choked on her drink.

Aunty paused mid-chew.

Jade's dad slammed his cup down.

There was this huge awkward silence.

Because technically she wasn't wrong. Vida had been the side chick, but she also technically wasn't right. I turned to Jade in a panic and she looked at me with a similar look.

"Holy fuck, you did!" Jean laughed.

"I didn't!" I quickly defended myself.

"It's not like that," Vida adds.

"Please, you two are all over each other."

"Shut up Jean, you don't know anything."

"Why don't you make me shut up."

"Maybe I will!"

"I'd like to see you try."

"We broke up!" Jade screams so loud it shuts everyone up.

There is another long awkward pause.

"We broke up okay. Skylar and I aren't together anymore." Jade got up from the table and stormed off.

"Jade," I quickly get up and go after her.

Vida tries to go after me but I wave her off.

I follow Jade back to her house and up to her room.

It's just the way I remember it.

"You okay?" I sit next to her.

"What the hell do you think!?" She holds back her tears but her voice shakes.

I sigh and grab her hand.

"Just don't okay," she jerks her hand away.

"Jade."

"This is hard enough as it is, don't make it harder for me."

"I'm sorry," I look down in shame.

"Does she make you happy?" Jade asks.

"Huh?"

"Vida, does she make you happy?"

"I think so."

"Then just date her already. Stop messing around, you're only making this harder for me."

"I'm not ready yet."

"You look ready to me." she snarks.

"Hey," I grab her hand again. "It's going to take time for us to heal. I still love you. I just need time. I don't want to be with someone when I'm still thinking of you."

"You are?" she sniffles and looks up at me.

I nod.

"I miss you," she breaks down.

"I'm sorry."

She throws herself into my arms and I hold her as she cries.

"I miss you," She says again.

"I miss you too."

"I miss your smell. Your warmth. The way you always made the bed every afternoon. The way you always organized my closet when I wasn't home. How you would set a flower on the table every day. The way you looked all cuddled up with the cats when I would get home late. I miss everything so fucking much." She admits.

"This feeling, what you are saying is how I felt all the time before we broke up," I say.

"I'm so sorry. Oh, Skylar, I'll do anything to have you back in my life."

"I'm right here Jade. I'm not going anywhere."

"No, I want more."

I sigh and rub her back.

There is a light knock on the door before Kenzie opens it up to check on us.

"Hey," she says.

She looks different from what I remember. Her hair is back to its natural brown color. She is thinner than I remember. She has a grungier style that mimics Jean's style. She looks rough around the edges and tougher than I remember.

"Everything okay?" She asks.

"Not really, but what else is new." I sigh.

"Well, everyone wants you two to come back."

"Just go, I need a moment." Jade wipes at her tears and pulls back.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

She nods.

"Don't force yourself," I kiss her forehead.

She tries to kiss me but I turn away. I see her face crumble in pain but she doesn't say anything. I just get up and leave it to Kenzie to handle. I sigh and walk out of the house, where I see Darleen pull in. I smirk and shake my head.

"I told you not to come," I point out.

"You know I don't listen. Besides my family thing isn't till way later. I'm hungry now." She shrugs.

I sigh, "what a beast." I pat her back.

"You okay?"

"Jade just told everyone we are broken up and had a breakdown. Now everything is awkward all thanks to Jean, ugh, I really don't like her. She called Vida a side chick!"

Darleen laughs.

"I'm serious!" I pout.

"Relax wifey, she's just jealous. You got two chicks; she can barely get one." She shakes me by the shoulder.

I chuckle.

"I hate you," I playfully smack her in the stomach.

"You love me and you know it," she playfully jabs me.

"Keep telling yourself that," I walk back into the house.

There is an awkward silence when I walk in, and I sigh.

"Hey everyone, you all remember Darleen." I break the silence.

"Hello Darleen, nice of you to join us." Mom smiled.

"Thanks for having me," Darleen smiled.

We move back to the table and add another chair between me and Vida so Darleen can sit down.

"So where's jade?" Jean snorts.

I really don't like her.

"She's taking a breath."

Jean snorts.

I glare at her.

"Care to explain? Who broke up with who?" Aunty asks.

"I broke up with her."

I swear there is a collective gasp.

I sigh.

"Why?" Uncle asks.

"Guys, really, right now?" I pout.

"Just get it over with," Oli says.

"Long story short I fell out of love with her okay? We've been working on it. That doesn't mean we aren't still close friends." I say.

"You should have told us," aunty sighs.

"Sorry, but with everything going on we haven't gotten a chance."

"Are you okay?" Mom asks.

Darleen rubs my back for reassurance. Vida flashes me a comforting smile. I nod.

"Yeah, I will be." I smile.

"Is Jade okay?" Her dad asks.

"Jade is fine," Jade says as she walks back in.

I smile at her.

"Sorry, but we didn't know," Aunty says.

"You aren't the one who needs to apologize." Jade crosses her arms and glares at Jean.

"Sorry, geez." Jean rolls her eyes.

God, I wish she wasn't here.

"Can we just get back to thanksgiving now?" I complain.

Jade takes her seat next to me and I grab her hand.

"You good?" I whisper to her.

She nods.

I smile at her and she squeezes my hand.

We finish the rest of thanksgiving dinner without a hitch. At the end, we all say what we are thankful for and then clean up.

"So, what new thing have you tried today?" Darleen asks as we wash dishes.

"Well, nothing yet. What about you? Any progress with the girl?"

"I surprised her today."

"Yeah? Did she like it?"

"I think she did."

"You should call her and ask."

"No way, I'm with you now."

"Darleen! When are you going to tell her?" I shake her by the shoulders.

"Hey! What gives? Can't you focus on your own romantic life?"

"Well, I want you to be happy. If anyone deserves to be happy it's you."

"I'll tell her soon."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Hey, need some help?" Vida wraps herself around me from behind.

"Jesus, you scared me." I jump.

She laughs.

"That's a sign you're hiding something from me." she teases.

I feel my cheeks flush.

"After you're done cleaning up, come with me back to my hotel." She whispers in my ear.

"Cut it out," I elbow her in the gut. "Plus, I told you, you could stay here with me."

"Yeah, but you also said that your bed was sacred Jade and Skylar ground, so I'd rather not."

The bed most certainly is sacred Jade lands, how many times did Jade and I do it on that bed? Probably too many to count.

"Please," she nuzzled her head into my neck.

I got chills.

"Fine," I roll my eyes and smile.

She giggles and kisses my neck.

"I can take over for you if you want Darleen." Vida offers.

"I got it," Darleen said with a bite.

I eye her.

She forced a smile as she continues to wash dishes.

"Go socialize with my family please, I don't want people to think you are a side chick." I push Vida away.

She laughs but walks off.

"So, you two together now?" Darleen asks.

"Not officially, but sort of. We've been dating, I guess you could say. We are just taking things one step at a time. Sometimes I have bad days, where I can do nothing but think about Jade. So, to make it easier I've told Vida about all my Jade-sensitive topics and trigger words. So, my feelings for Jade are less likely to come up. It's been working. I told Vida she could stay here with me at my house, but she'd have to sleep on the couch, because of all the memories and tension this place holds for me and Jade. So, she just opted for a hotel." I sigh as I wash more dishes.

"How does Jade feel about all this?"

"Jade..." I trail off.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." She quickly adds.

"Jade's been taking it hard. Very hard. She's sort of depressed now. She shows up late to work, or not at all. Her job has called me a few times looking for her. I'm still on her emergency contact list. She's... almost shutting down." I stare down at the sink.

"How does that make you feel?"

"Awful," I admit.

Darleen grabs my soapy hand in her own and squeezes it.

I smile appreciatively at her.

"Jade just needs time, just like you just need time. You shouldn't rush into anything if you aren't ready."

"I know, that's why Vida and I have been taking things slow."

"Maybe you should go slower."

I look at her.

"Just a little." She pinches the air.

I giggle.

"I will, I'm doing a lot better these days. Honest." I assure her.

"Good, I'm happy for you."