Have you ever wished you lived a different life?

Have you ever watched one of those life swapping films - you know, the one where the protagonist gets catapulted into a totally different life, one that he or she would have lived if only they made a different decision at some point?

If you looked at my life from the outside, you would probably think I am crazy for even suggesting this. For wanting to live a different life.

But I often wonder sometimes how easy my life would be if only I were a human.

My name is Stephano Cortez, I am 28 years old and I am a werewolf. Yeah, I was born this way. All of us were, in fact, there is no turning anybody into one of us.

The only thing you would get out of a werewolf bite is death. Not that this fact made me enjoy 'Teen Wolf' any less. I loved that show.

We also don't have to shift under the full moon, unless we want to. It is a powerful call when the moon is at its peak, but you won't have to worry about finding an alley to shift into a wolf unless you are into that. In that case, I suggest planning ahead.

Evolution gave us all the tools necessary for us to blend in with humans, hidden in plain sight. We are your doctors, lawyers, shop clerks, reporters, and of course veterinarians.

There are no visible markings that differentiate us from humans and if you see one of us, chances are we are not alone.

Wolves are pack animals. We thrive in the collective. The more the merrier. Though every rule has an exception: we call them rogues, werewolves living outside of the pack system, answering to no one but without any protection the pack affords us.

Honestly, as hard as my personal situation seems at times, I would never make it on my own. I need my pack, my family. I would not have survived the last decade without them, that is the honest truth.

It's funny, when you look at my life, you would not think I'd struggle as much as I actually do.

I am the son of Simon Cortez and Olivia Pullman, a loving couple who raised their family with love and acceptance. My dad was a second generation Beta of the pack. He was the Alpha's best friend. As a matter of fact, my mom is best friends with the former Luna of the pack, Elliott Lockwood.

It's very rare for two best friends to get mated to two best friends. But it meant our two families were very close. Felix Hollingsworth, the former Alpha, is my godfather. My dad is godfather to his son.

Being raised under a queer Alpha and Luna, I never had to fear coming out to my parents. In fact, when I came out as gay they threw me a party. Yes, a coming out party. They even played Diana Ross' song and everything. It was then that I learned that my dad is bisexual.

In fact, before they were mated, my dad dated Luna Elliott. And Alpha Felix was 'straight' before he was paired with his male mate. Their lives are an epic tale of drama and romance, but my teenage life had just one problem: my parents were too involved in it.

They encouraged me to refrain from keeping secrets and be as open with them as possible. I will say it was refreshing to be raised without fear of judgment on their part. No matter what I did, they were there for me. I really appreciate my parents.

Because my mother went to college after high school, my parents decided to hold off on having any babies until mom finished her degree. The plan was for the Alpha couple to do the same so their children could be raised together, but life happened.

Luna Elliott was struck by heat, so low and behold a new Alpha was born.

Typically, Alphas and Betas are the same age. They become best friends during childhood and ascend together when they turn 18. That is the way things always worked for hundreds of years.

The problem for me was that I am four years younger than Philip Hollingsworth, Felix and Elliott's son. Basically, his school experience was completely different from mine, we never became friends like our parents would have wanted and therefore had no relationship outside of family gatherings.

To him, I was just a bratty child, so far removed from his day to day life. There was never an opportunity for us to bond, we had almost nothing in common except for the fact that our parents love each other.

Still, Phillip was never given any chance to choose his own Beta like his forefathers did before him. Both our fathers were adamant in continuing the tradition of Hollingsworth Alphas and Cortez Betas.

'But he is four years younger than me!' Phillip protested vigorously against his father's pressure.

'I always wanted my children to attend college before ascending, so that's fine.' Alpha Felix retorted, ever so wisely.

The truth is our fathers were never going to let either of us choose our own destiny. Even with a four year age gap and no prior friendship, we were born to be Alpha and Beta together. I didn't mind following in my father's footsteps, I really admire the man that he is.

But Phillip protested loudly at not being given the choice. He literally threatened his father that he would call out another person's name at the ascension ceremony, in front of the whole pack.

Alpha Felix grounded him for the disobedience, but not before telling him that Alphas and Betas ascend together. If Phillip did not accept me as his Beta, he would communicate to the Wolf Council that he would not be his successor for the Alpha position.

Yeah, it was that serious. And who got the short end of the stick in this situation?

You guessed it right: me. As if somehow I was the one who forced the Alpha's hand. I would be fine following my path, choosing my own career, and going to college like most of my classmates did.

Because of our age difference, while Phillip went to college, I was still in high school. I became the designated Beta against my will, but if he didn't have a choice in the matter, much less I did. Plus, I love my dad too much to disappoint him.

It meant so much to him that I would still be Beta of the pack even with the age difference between me and Phillip. He was so proud to take me under his wing and teach me how to work as the protector of the pack - that is what Betas are called.

Every Summer during high school, my dad would take me to his office and the training center where he'd introduce me to the warriors. He made a point to instill in me that being Beta was a privilege, an honor. One that I could never take for granted.

I trained under the top warriors, learned the business of being Beta. While my friends were partying and cooling down in the hot Summer days, I was stuck inside my father's office. He told me that because I was not Phillip's choice, I would have to work twice as hard. I cannot give anyone a reason to get rid of me, though technically it is next to impossible to remove a Beta from office.

I cannot be fired by the Alpha, I can only be removed by a unanimous vote of 'no confidence' by the Wolf Council. And that would take hard proof that I did something illegal, like embezzling from the pack.

Right, about that... My father's mother is heir to one of the largest chains of dairy farms in the south. It means that not only my dad grew up with money but I also was afforded a comfortable life. Though living in a small town in Texas doesn't necessarily read 'Upper East Side' (New York).

But my point is I don't need to embezzle anything, nor would I ever risk my reputation like that. The Cortez dynasty is one of the oldest of Regency Falls, our name carries a lot of weight in the society and I would never risk jeopardizing that.

By the time I turned 18, I had everything lined up. My ascension as the next Beta, a house to live with my mate right here in Regency Falls, all I needed was to graduate high school and my adult life would begin.

There was just one small problem.

I didn't actually find my mate.

I walked the school halls, sniffing and waiting for him to show up but no one ever shone their eyes at me. That is how you know you have discovered your mate, when both your eyes shine to each other. But mine never did.

'Don't worry.' My dad told me at the time. 'This happens more often than you might think.'

'Maybe he hasn't aged into consent yet.' My mom told me at the time. You cannot discover your mate until they are 17, at least. That is what we call the age of consent, when you become eligible to be found by an older person. An 18 year old like me.

Sure, it is probably not the end of the world to have to graduate high school still unmated. People do it all the time. I am not the first werewolf to find their mate later in life. Even though all my friends are mated and getting ready to go to college, some with their mates by their side.

I had to pull through. I am a privileged boy who doesn't even need to go to college to apply for his dream job. I learned everything I ever needed from my dad and loved every minute of it. I am not complaining.

Fun fact: it is against pack law for an Alpha to ascend without having found their mate. That means if I was born an Alpha instead of a Beta, I could not ascend in my father's place. But I didn't have such restrictions, nothing stood in my path to ascension.

When Phillip graduated college and returned home with his lovely mate, we were cleared to move forward with the ascension ceremony. As expected, my future boss met me with brooding and sulking. He was not pleased to be forced to have me as his Beta.

Well, tough break sweetheart. I just had to watch all my friends and classmates sail off into the sunset happily mated. Each time I saw someone bearing a mate mark - a scar on the neck that signals that person is committed for life with another one - I was triggered.

Let me tell you, it was not a fun summer for me. The one right after graduation. It was supposed to be my last hurrah before adulthood, but instead it was my father sending me anywhere he could think of that I would find my mate.

So many wasted journeys all over Texas packs where I would get my hopes up only to be disappointed by a lack of glowing eyes. My parents consoled me the best way they could, offering me their unwavering support.

Before the Summer ended, there was a beautiful ascension ceremony where Phillip and I ascended as the next Alpha and Beta of Regency Falls. It was a majestic occasion in which most of the town watched a new generation taking over the leadership.

My parents and grandparents cried watching me taking over as the third generation Beta Cortez. They were so proud of me, even without a mate to show for. There was a vacancy left on the stage for my mate to be by my side, a person who never showed up because I was the first Beta to ascend without a mate in the pack's history.

Still, I persevered as I must. I had no other choice. I already had an Alpha that kept me plenty busy. For some reason, Phillip thought that if he gave me enough of a hard time, I would quit being Beta and he could finally choose his best friend for the job.

Sure, Jan. The only thing worse than refusing to ascend as Beta in my dad's place is to quit the position. Do I even have to mention that no Beta (or Alpha) has ever quit in werewolf history? Really, bitch? What is this, high school?

Of course that would never happen and Phillip got the message eventually.

With time, he became more accepting of my role as his Beta and slowly began to trust me and that I actually was the better person for the job, even if I was four years younger than him.

Year after year, the mate shaped hole in my life grew bigger. The void spoke volumes every time my family gathered for a special occasion or the holidays. It was a reminder that no matter what, my life is still empty.

My friends started to form a family with their mates, people would get uncomfortable around me whenever the subject was brought up. I had the absolute worst time of my life.

Within the first three or four years, everybody was sympathetic to my plight. But at some point, people moved on with their lives. You lose touch with that friend from high school who now has a full time job and a toddler. People slip through the cracks and the less you have in common with them, the worse it gets.

Five years ago, Phillip and Linda - his mate - had their first child. A new Alpha was born.

It was then that it became painfully obvious that I would be the last of the Cortez Betas. If I don't have a mate, how could I even produce an heir? I am such a failure that even after so many years, I am still disappointing my dad.

It was the lowest point of my life. I got really depressed. It's not that I envy the Alpha family, which is a very beautiful family, they were just the last of a string of couples I know to start a family. Everyone from my generation is happily mated with at least one pup or a pregnant partner.

I was the one left behind, the mateless loser who was forgotten by the Moon Goddess [the deity in charge of pairing all werewolves in the world]. At some point, people cease to make excuses for my lack of pairing. They just forget you and move on with their lives.

I focused on my job, being the best Beta this pack has ever had. I honed my craft, dedicated my life to the job, but when I arrived home there was no one there to greet me. No mate, no child, nothing. I have nothing.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family. They are my heart and soul. But nobody wants to be lonely. Nobody wants to be left behind, watching everybody you know moving on without you.

The problem is not that I am lonely at 28 years old. The issue is that the entire society around me is already paired up and living their best lives, happily ever after.

Which brings me to my original point. I do wonder sometimes if I were human and didn't have to live under the expectations of werewolf society. Who would want to live among people who find their soulmates at 18 anyway?

Yeah... other people who found their soulmates at the same age.

Imagine if I was just another twenty something trust fund boy living his best life. Probably in a major city away from here. I imagine Dallas or Houston. Maybe then I could be happy. Living oblivious to the fact that I should have been paired with someone a decade ago.

I live in one of the largest werewolf packs in America. Why the hell wasn't I mated to someone already?

Anyone. I am right here. Please, just put me out of my misery! What did I do wrong? Tell me so I can fix it. I am begging you, don't leave me this way. I do not want to be lonely anymore. I'll do anything you want... *sobbing*

A|N: Welcome, folks.

This is the first time ever that I created a story from a Beta's point of view [instead of an Alpha].

I never thought I'd create a spinoff from "Topping the Alpha" to be honest, but here I am. My tenth werewolf novel. What the hell am I thinking? LOL

Who knows?

Originally, I had a different song in mind for this chapter but this really hit the nail in the head for me. What a powerful combination of singers and a great start for the book.

Next is "Faith".

Love,

Léo.