For two guys who agreed at random to meet at an abandoned hotel after midnight during the apocalypse, it's just another typical date, as far as dates go.
Ender was cute, but he also looked like Jay from Jay and Silent Bob, and I wasn't going to lie and say that he blew me out of the water upon first laying eyes on him. And the weird thing was, I think he felt the same way about me, too, because he'd eaten at least five Ho-Ho's for dessert and was starting on his sixth without even talking about how bad he wanted to take me to bed and fondle my well-toned body with the chub in the trunk.
And yeah, to be honest, it was somewhat comforting to not have to worry about some guy treating me like a piece of meat. But then I start to wonder if Ender thought my haircut was too fucked up, or if maybe my comments about being Ace had turned him off permanently to the possibility of letting me into his bed tonight so we could die poetically in each other's arms.
Maybe he didn't actually want to ride the baloney pony in a crappy hotel room.
Had I struck gold here or what?
"So, what kind of guy shows up at a hotel in the middle of the night looking to date a stranger?" I ask him finally, and I slide my empty dishes aside so I can rest my elbows on the table. "Because I seriously doubt you came here just to have dinner with me tonight."
Ender lowers his Ho-Ho inquisitively and peers over at me. "Dude, what kind of guy shows up to a date after running someone over with his car?"
Crap. I figured he was going to hold that against me later on.
"I told you, I was in a hurry," I reply tersely. "And I didn't actually run over him; I bumped him with the hood of my car, and he bounced off and kind of fell to the side, screaming a little."
"You messaged me first and asked me if I wanted to see a picture of your turtle." Ender points out and shoves the end piece of his cake into his mouth. "And I said, yeah, sure, that's one nice turtle. Do you want to go out with me? And you were like, dude, yeah."
We glare a little at each other from across the table, but not for very long.
I crack a smile and then flat-out start laughing because the whole thing was like this big Shaun of the Dead skit, and I didn't know if Ender really was into me or if he'd just shown up because no one else had bothered answering his messages.
Ender takes off his baseball hat and leans back in his seat, laughing with me. "I wasn't even planning on meeting anyone," He admits. "It's a long story, but I have a boyfriend who's in the military, and he left like a couple of weeks ago to deal with all this crazy shit happening. His name is Jace. I haven't heard from him in a few days, but that's nothing new."
"Uh-huh, go on." I pretend to sip my Moscato, and I'm totally chill about him having a boyfriend because he'd specified in his Grindr that he was already in an open relationship, which must have been this Jace guy that he was talking about.
"Dude, so this is going to sound crazy, but I have a condition that Jace has been helping me with for a couple of years now," Ender drawls in his tired voice. "He told me before he left that he didn't want me alone when the world ends, so I got on Grindr and started looking for someone who didn't just want to hammer my asshole into a pulp. You get me?"
"Not really, but keep going; there's still half a bottle of wine," I tell him as I uncork the bottle with a soft pop and pour myself another glass.
"Do you know what a Harbinger is?" Ender asks me, and he looks about as uncomfortable as a monkey in a birdcage at this point. "Shit, this is way harder to explain than I thought it was going to be. Give me a second. I'm trying to figure out a way to make this sound good."
There's a bang on the other side of the dining room towards the kitchen, and both Ender and I turn and look at the same time to see who's there, even though we knew the motel was empty.
The vacant pie-themed dining room with the white-tablecloth-covered chairs and folded napkins stares back at us, eerily still and quiet. One of the doors to the dining room does swing open and close a tiny bit, but that could have easily been explained as a draft or the wind.
It was possible, of course, that the skinhead from earlier had gotten inside and was searching the hotel for me after spotting me through the window, but again, I wasn't shocked. A lot of people had gone nuts in the last few days and started killing whoever they wanted because they knew they weren't going to get into trouble for it.
"Do you want to get out of here and go find a room?" Ender asks me after a moment. "This place is starting to freak me out. Maybe it's all the windows or something."
"I thought you'd never ask," I reply, and I stand up with him, casting another glance at the swinging doors before we leave the dining room together, a bottle of wine in my hand.
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