Can We Become Family?

Chapter 2

Naviah’s eyes fluttered open as she returned once again from the brink of death.

It appears that once again I must start over from the age of eight. How long will I survive this time? Following her first demise in a carriage accident at the age of twenty, each of her subsequent returns took her back to eight years old, one year after her arrival to the Agnus household. The reason for such a pattern remained a mystery. In this world, the concept of regression magic was unheard of.

Lifting her arm, Naviah inspected her right wrist. The number is gone. Have I exhausted my chances to travel back? The numeral that had once indicated her remaining opportunities for rebirth had disappeared. Following a history of eight failed attempts, this was indeed her final chance, her last opportunity at life. Her arm fell limp at her side as she stared blankly up at the ceiling, eyes void of hope and emotion.

Where did I go wrong? Was it my stubborn determination to stay in this household through eight lives, unaware of my own insignificant position? Was it my desire for love, my pursuit of acknowledgment, or my longing for a family? If none of that, then was it the fact that I was born at all?

Silence enveloped her. She had only yearned for ordinary love, the kind that others experienced effortlessly. She wanted simple things: to blow out candles on a cake and make a wish while hearing the words “Happy birthday,” to hug a teddy bear gifted by her parents on stormy nights, to complain about schoolwork, to be gently scolded for indulging in too many sweets even though she had already requested a favorite meal. She wanted to experience the everyday joys that Eudes and Vivian took for granted.

“It was greed,” she finally acknowledged. The harrowing realization that she would never be the recipient of love had set in.

Naviah gently gripped the bed sheet, her eyes welling up with tears. She clenched her jaw and pressed her lips firmly together, fighting the urge to scream or cry. But despite her best efforts, her tears began to flow relentlessly, and she broke into uncontrollable sobbing. She wished to feign composure, but inside she felt herself deteriorating.

Her chest tightened, as if all the pain and trauma she’d endured had suddenly burst forth to flood her heart and suffocate her. She clutched at her chest in agony, as if she could rip away the heartache that consumed her.

Eight lifetimes had been wasted. She had once been revered as the future empress, the belle of high society. Using the knowledge she had gained from her regressions, she had cleared a path for the Agnus family, elevating their strength and status.

“Did you think that would make you a true Agnus?”

But despite her lifetimes filled with dedication and sincerity toward the family, she had been met only with cold mockery and disdain. Naviah buried her face in her arms, weeping uncontrollably.

“I’m not sad—things will improve. Just a little more effort, just a bit longer.” She had clung to this false hope for too long. But now, she finally recognized it as a form of self-deception—a brainwashing she had imposed upon herself. Naviah could no longer indulge in such delusions. The harsh reality was that things were far from improving. She was wounded and overwhelmed with feelings of sadness, desperation, and torment.

She wished for it all to be nothing but a dream. I want to die. What’s the point of living, if I must live like this?

After enduring so much hardship and facing round after round of the same treatment, she was utterly drained. The endless cycle of despair and false hope had depleted her spirit. Should I just end it all? Then everything would be over, finally and truly.

Deep down, she secretly wished for someone to intervene and rescue her. Please, let someone claiming to be my biological parent come forth and save me from this misery. I promise I won’t bear them any resentment. Please... But nothing of the sort had happened in any one of her lives.

How long had she been weeping? Gradually, her bitter sobs began to subside. Her eyes were swollen and stinging from the relentless crying spell. It was in this exhausted, vulnerable state that she heard a strange noise outside her door.

Clack!

The sound of rattling, followed by a burst of scornful laughter, echoed through the hall outside. Drained of all the suppressed emotion that had been building inside her for so long, her empty and weary gaze shifted toward the door.

She knew all too well who was responsible for these sounds. Eudes. This wasn’t an isolated incident. Locking Naviah in her room was one of the frequent forms of torment he inflicted upon her.

“Brother, please open the door! If I’m late again, I’ll have to go without food for three days. Please!”

“Just three days? I thought they’d starve you for a week! Ugh, how annoying.”

As a result of Eudes’ cruel antics, she often found herself fasting for three days a week, or even longer. It had become a grim routine for her to consume nothing but water in an attempt to stave off her hunger.

I might die if this continues. Fearing for her life, Naviah would occasionally wait outside her room until her designated maid arrived to fetch her before she was late for her lessons. But this was conduct unbecoming of a noblewoman, and she often faced reprimands for it.

That’s why I once attempted to escape via the balcony. She had resorted to tearing her bedding into strips and fashioning a makeshift rope, which she knotted around a pillar on the balcony. Filled with a mix of desperation and determination, she had lowered herself over the railing—a perilous undertaking. But her bedding was made of poor quality fabric and proved incapable of bearing her weight. Tragically, her fourth life concluded in a fatal fall as the flimsy material gave way.

There were some instances, however, in which she had miraculously survived the fall.

“Pfft! You really are a fool.”

Even as Naviah lay sprawled on the ground, bloodied and with her clothes torn, Eudes couldn’t help but jeer and laugh dismissively. In those lives she later confronted him, no longer unable to endure his constant ridicule.

“Why do you despise me so much, Brother?”

“You were born of low class, and you’re a stain on our family’s reputation! Had it not been for you, I would never have been so humiliated in front of Sarah!”

Since childhood, Eudes had harbored a passionate but unrequited love for Lady Sarah Lucia. His peers had used Naviah’s low-born status as a means to shame him in front of her. Eudes was already displeased with Naviah’s inability to match their family’s noble status, and such incidents only aggravated the animosity he felt toward her.

After the sounds had ceased, Naviah stood up. Her expression was cold and composed. It was clear that for the time being Eudes was done with his cruel amusement, as there was no longer any sign of his presence. “He certainly can be dedicated when it comes to some things,” she murmured. However, it was hard to believe that Eudes, who typically preferred to sleep in, would make the effort to come down from his bedroom on the third floor to hers on the second merely to lock and chain her door.

Nikan and his children occupied the third floor of the mansion, and as the officially adopted daughter of the head of the family, Naviah should have resided there too. But ever since her first regression, she had been relegated to a guest room on the floor below. Despite this exclusion, this room had become her sanctuary.

“They say that as long as you live under the same roof, you’re family,” she had often told herself. She used to find comfort in those words, but now their amusing irony prompted a hollow laugh. To this family, she was no more than a hunting dog, a tool of convenience to be discarded when no longer needed, yet she had still harbored a loyal desire to be one of them.

Naviah approached the door and attempted to turn the doorknob.

Clunk!

As expected, it was locked—not an unusual discovery. She reached out and placed her hand against the worn wood surface of the door. It had a distinctly dry and rough texture.

What made me become so fixated on this so-called family? A realization dawned on her—it was all pointless. She had been waiting for a knight in shining armor, but the knight wasn’t coming. The only person who could save her was herself. She knew what she had to do.

“If you’ve committed a wrong against me, then it’s only right that you face the consequences. Don’t you agree, Brother?”