Though I didn’t stew in my thoughts for too long. Just as the bus lurched to a crawl, moving out of the school stop and onto the road, a figure joined my seat.

My head whipped up, and my eyes were filled with Frazer. “I’m sorry,” he started.

“What f—”

“I’ve told them off briefly for now,” he went on explaining, not letting me finish my question, “But I’ll work on ensuring they are nicer to you. We can sit elsewhere on the bus if it makes you more comfortable.”

“You don’t have to sit with me,” I mumbled, turning my head down in defeat as I wondered if my simple reassurance would be enough to convince him to concede. 

“But I do. Because Are You Okay Day is in a few months, and you very much don’t seem okay.”

I’d be lying if I said the heaviness in my heart didn’t lift a little at his attempt to joke. Though I still couldn’t help insisting, “I’m fine. It’s not like anything has happened to upset me, so you don’t need to—”

“If you were fine, you wouldn’t have avoided me all day. Just because you can force me a smile and pretend you don’t want anyone around doesn’t mean I can’t see you’re lonely.”

Am I that easy to read? Once again, I glanced his way. “I just… don’t want to get between you and your other friends.”

“They were the ones getting in the way, you goose.”

“Did you just call me a—”

“I did. What are you going to do about it?” He smirked challengingly.

Though rather than answering his question, I hesitantly voiced my own, “Are they not going to be mad that you’ve ditched them for me?”

He scoffed. “It’s a bus ride. If my friendship with those guys hangs on me spending the bus ride to and from school with them, then I would say I’m better off. I’ll still hang out with them at lunch and in class. Though I might sit with you in English…”

“You don’t—”

“You get As. They barely pass. That one is a no brainer.”

This time my face fell into a deadpan. “Are you hoping I’ll give you answers or something?”

“I mean… maybe if I forget to do my homework. But more that I hope you can give me a hand with the assessments? And studying for exams? And maybe if I sit next to you, some of your smarts will just seep into me.”

“Now that is definitely not how that works.”

“I don’t know… It might. Sometimes when I speak to my mates I think I’m losing brain cells. If it works one way, it has to work the other, right?”

A snort escaped me before I could stop it. And as my face turned red in embarrassment, Frazer just grinned at me, all the way to his eyes and even further into my heart.

◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ 

Each day that passed over the following weeks got easier. Opening my door to find Frazer waiting for me became less nerve-wracking. Talking to him on the way to the bus stop, on the way to or from school, and in English classes made my stuttering words and racing heart decrease a little each day. Even texting him—after he requested some way to contact me outside of school when I admitted I was not on social media—began to feel natural. It didn’t take long for the label of ‘friends’ to feel real. Or for me to start sharing the parts of me I didn’t think anyone would want to know about. 

Though what I still hadn’t braved by the end of the school term was sitting with him in the music block at lunch.

He had asked me every day we got off the bus. Until our final week before the holidays arrived, and he simply said, “See you in English.” 

English… which was in the fourth session. Two lunch breaks would pass where we wouldn’t see each other. Where he no longer expected to see me.

And I couldn’t help but stew in my thoughts during my first two classes, much to the dismay of my teachers who were trying to get us seniors energised to start new units despite that we were counting the days left until our two weeks of freedom arrived.

Has he just grown tired of asking me to come when I never show? was my first thought.

Then I started digging the hole.

Or have I said or done something that upset him? 

Or… does he not want me to hang out with him anymore? 

Perhaps he’s getting sick of me.

Maybe next term he will stop sitting with me in English. And then on the bus. And we will just fade into strangers once more…

I suppose it is for the best though. There’s only two terms left of the year, and he’s going to make so many great friends when we graduate that he will barely remember the girl who lived next door that he was friends with for five weeks.

“And that concludes the lesson. You may pack up your things and enjoy your break,” the teacher announced, breaking my stupor.

I gathered my books and stationery at a nimble pace, my mind deliberating what I should do. The defeated part of me had accepted her fate that our brief friendship was going to be coming to a close. That all my worst fears were bound to come into fruition next term after two weeks apart would most likely sever my familiarity and friendship with Frazer. 

But burning deeper within was a determination to put in a little effort before letting Frazer go. The truth was, I didn’t want to lose what we had developed. Life had become so much more colourful since his smiles and laughs have been there to saturate it.

Which was why, I guess, my feet had led me towards the music block without my consciousness being fully aware of it… until my knotting stomach yanked my mind back to the present when it came time to open the door.

My hand extended and retreated from the door knob. I turned away and walked back. I picked at my cuticles and bit at my lip, wondering if I should go in or run away like I usually did.

Though before I could come to a decision, a voice behind me said, “Emilia?”

My heart jumped as I whipped around to see who caught me.

Kevin slowly approached, glancing between me and my hand still half-reaching for the door.

“Are you finally joining us today?” he asked.

My eyes widened impossibly further. Finally? Did Frazer’s friends know he had invited me? Did they know Frazer invited me frequently? But even though Kevin’s words suggested I was welcomed, the fact that Frazer himself hadn’t asked me here today worked its way back into my mind. Which was why I started to say, “I was just leav—”

“Nonsense,” he replied, arm reaching out to block my way around him. Then he twirled his finger and ushered me back towards the door without ever touching me. Kevin yanked open the door and waved his hand towards the entrance. “Ladies first.” Though even I could tell he wasn’t being chivalrous, but instead fully expecting me to run if given the chance. 

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I took a few hesitant steps into the hallway before pressing myself up against the wall. I hadn’t ever visited the music block before aside from the few classes at the beginning of high school when we were given brief introductions to the subjects the school had on offer. 

Once Kevin had joined me inside, he cocked a sceptical eyebrow at me before walking ahead to lead the way—as if he still was wary I’d disappear when his back was turned. Though how could I now when he’d seen me? Frazer’s friends already thought I was strange… imagine how worse that would be if I just bolted now.

We took a couple of turns down the narrow hallway until we finally reached a door to a sound-proofed music room. Once again, Kevin opened the door and attempted to usher me inside. Though this time my feet were almost glued to the ground.

His eyes narrowed before a devilish smirk took hold of his face. Then his mouth opened to announce way too loudly, “Fraze! I’ve got an early Christmas present for you.” Kevin strutted inside, grinning from ear-to-ear. 

I could just make out Frazer’s shoulder from where I still stood in the hallway, clutching at the opened door and wondering if I could still run.

“It’s June,” I heard his melodic voice respond, laced with confusion.

“An early Christmas-in-July present then.”

“What are you talk—”

“We have a visitor. And I bet she would have legged it too if I hadn’t caught her lurking outside.”

At once, Frazer shifted in his chair, leaning so that he could see around the corner, almost falling off in the process. His jaw was slack as our eyes met, and I gave a shy wave, still considering my retreat option.

But then his face lit up, and all uncertainty fled my body to see him so excited to see me. “Em!” he exclaimed before he leapt out of his seat and bounded over to me.

“Do you think I’m forgiven now?” I heard Kevin mutter to the other guys inside, but whatever conversation they had that followed was lost to my ears as Frazer filled my vision.

“Why are you still standing out there? Come in!” Unlike Kevin who kept his hands far away from me as he tried to usher me inside—almost as if I had the plague—Frazer seemed to not think twice when he placed a hand on my back to guide me in.

His hand felt so large on my shoulder, and all the feelings that I thought had gone as our familiarity grew came steamrolling back in. 

It was as though a band had gathered within my organs. The drummer was at my heart, pounding at it to the point my cheeks were overwhelmed with heat and blood. My stomach had become a violin, the bow working its way across my insides and creating all sorts of tingly sensations. My lungs were a harmonica, almost wheezing with every breath I took as I forgot how to take in an adequate amount of air. 

Frazer pulled out his chair and forced me into it before grabbing another from elsewhere in the room and sitting next to me.

He was still grinning at me, almost expectantly, like he was waiting for me to say something.

But I was voiceless as I felt the spotlight on me—all eyes staring like I was a monkey at a zoo.

As my gaze turned to my lap, unable to withstand the pressure any longer, I felt Frazer’s stare ease off me. 

Then Kevin said, “I think there was a basketball game on this lunch. We should go watch it.” 

The room cleared out, and, when it was suddenly just the two of us, I managed to squeak out, “Don’t you want to join them?” I glanced at him, wondering what expression I’d see.

But he was still unable to hide his joy. He shook his head. “I’m not much of a sports person. Besides… I’m pretty sure it’s just an excuse Kevin came up with to get everyone out.”

“Why would he—”

“I asked them, if you ever came, if they could let it just be us two.”

I paused for a moment as his words wandered through my mind, trying to make sense of themselves. But when they couldn't, “Why?”

“Because I figured you’d feel… a little uncomfortable in their presence.”

I pressed my lips together as my thoughts continued to swirl. 

And because he could seem to read me now, he said, “They don’t mind. Trust me. And I only asked for them to do it the first time, so you’ll have to get used to them being here in future.”

In future… “I’m sorry I showed up suddenly,” I started to gush as this morning’s worries caught up with me. “I know you didn’t ask me to come today, but—”

His head had cocked to the side as I waffled, brows furrowing together, then he shook his head. “I didn’t ask?”

“No,” I mumbled, feeling the embarrassment starting to kick in that I gave the matter any of my attention.

“It wasn’t intentional,” he said softly, leaning a little closer in his chair as he tried to catch my gaze again.

Unable to stop myself, my eyes flickered up to him, revelling in the small smile that quickly stole his face. 

A few seconds passed with nothing said between us, though all the while Frazer studied me, like he was wary that any sudden word or movement would scare me off—which was a fair concern to have when it came to me. 

“So… why did you always want me to come here?” I finally asked when I couldn’t withstand the silence any longer. Then my eyes looked everywhere and anywhere but him.

“So that we can jam, of course!”

I guffawed. “I am not, in any way, musically gifted.”

Which was when he reached around behind the piano, his hand digging in a box of instruments, returning with a circular, drum-like instrument with small symbols embedded in it. “Nonsense. Anyone can shake a tambourine.”

The giggles erupted from me as he handed me the instrument, and to please him I gave it a little shake. He complimented my skills before reaching for the guitar behind him. 

He took a moment to adjust my grip on the tambourine—seeming unfazed to touch me while I felt my bones turning into jelly at the brush of his fingers over my hand—and then started strumming a familiar tune. I couldn’t deny that he was a natural at the guitar, barely glancing at it when his fingers changed frets. And seeing him enjoying himself like this not only made me glad I had finally braved a visit, but also forced my crush to deepen impossibly further.

We went on like that for a couple of songs, him playing the guitar, me shaking my tambourine at a tempo that I was sure was discordant, and the both of us mumbling the lyrics under our breaths. Though when the next song came to a close, I couldn’t help but ask, “So what do you do in music anyway? Just play songs?”

He shook his head in disbelief. “Em… Do you just read in English?”

“Of course not.”

“Exactly. Music is more than being able to play an instrument. It’s about understanding its history, composition, writing songs, justifying them, finding your own individuality as a musician, and so on.”

I nodded as I mulled over his words. “So have you written anything then?”

“Of course,” he grinned. “We’ve actually just finished a unit that required us to compose an original piece.”

“How’d you go with it?”

“Great, of course. Music is my best subject, so I always get good marks.”

I placed the tambourine in my lap and leaned back in my seat. “Well, go on then.”

“Go… what?”

“Play it for me.”