Maura

What is Beck thinking?

I can’t fight him. I mean, yes, I’ve imagined getting back at Godrick for all he’s done to me. Hell, sometimes, those thoughts were the only thing that kept me going, but I’ve never actually hit anyone. Fighting back in Godrick’s pack results in either a worse beating where you wish for death or actual death. I wasn’t stupid enough to risk either, not once I’d decided to run.

Beck leans toward me, his energy washing over me again. For a moment, as the sun bounces off his sweat-slicked skin, I forget that I’m terrified. “Come on, Red. You can do this. I know you can.” My eyes meet his. “Don’t see me. Picture him. Think of him and what he’s done. Imagine this is your chance to get even.”

Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply, and do what asks. Without really forcing it, my eyes snap open, and I lash out with the sticks. The hollow clink rings through the space as my sticks hit his with his blocks. After a few swipes, I stop and take a step back, startled at myself a little.

“See,” Beck says in a taunt with a smirk. “Wasn’t that hard. You didn’t do bad either. Try again. This time, I want you to do something for me. I still remember the smug smile on the son-of-a-bitch’s face after he destroyed my pack. Picture it. I know you’ve seen that smile on him.” He gets back in position in front of me. “Wipe the smile off his face.”

Anger floods my system, and I swing at him so hard that I throw myself off-balance and stumble forward. Before I can hit the ground, though, Beck’s arms are around me.

“Whoa,” he says with a chuckle. “Might need to work on your balance, Red.” He doesn’t move or loosen his arms from around me.

The knot in my stomach feels like it’s twisting and spinning as it shoots fire through my body. Beck is so warm, his strength encasing me in this feeling of safety I’ve never had, not even before I was taken by Godrick. The wind blows a little, and I tense.

That can’t be…

No…

It’s not strong but, I swear, I can…scent him.

That’s never happened before. I’ve never had a wolf’s heightened senses, not even a little. But that’s what this is. Deep down, I know it.

Something is happening to me, and it’s scaring me. How am I in a man’s arms and not terrified? My eyes meet Beck’s, and I’m captivated by the little gold flecks that seem to mix with that warm light brown of his eyes. They’re beautiful and…

Shit, what the hell am I doing?

Pushing out of his arms, he doesn’t stop smirking at me, making the knot in my stomach twist harder. “Alright, beautiful. Take that fire, keep your balance, and let’s try to hit me again.”

I swallow hard and do my best. My hits aren’t hard or intense, and I’m sure it’s the most pathetic sight this pack has seen. Amber is a far better warrior than me, but this doesn’t feel natural to me. Not when I was indoctrinated with a female’s place in a pack, and fighting wasn’t it in any way.

“That’s it, Red,” Beck taunts. “Make me feel it.”

He winks at me, and my cheeks heat, but I don’t stop practicing. I can’t help but feel like he’s flirting with me, but that’s crazy. If someone as disgusting as Godrick didn’t think I was even good enough for breeding, I doubt anyone would think otherwise.

“Mmm,” Beck kind of groans as he blocks another one of my hits. “I like your fire today, Maura.”

Lurching forward, I swing back hard with my stick and crack Beck across the shoulder. My entire body spins from the force, and the ground comes up quick. I gasp but stop before slamming into it. Turning my head, I gasp as Alejo’s eyes meet mine.

“My turn.” His face and voice are hard as he stands back up and lets go, taking a step back.

“I’m, uh, I’m not very good,” I say softly, embarrassment and worry taking over as I hold the sticks in front of me, wishing I could tear my eyes away from the deep pools of Alejo’s as his stare drills into me.

He’s clearly unhappy.

“Actually, she’s awful,” Beck says with a playfulness. “Don’t accidentally kill her.”

My lip quivers as my eyes dart between them. “Please don’t kill me on purpose, either.”

Alejo sighs. “No one dies. Will you agree to my terms?”

Taking a deep breath, I will my body to calm, wishing it would listen. “I’ll try.”

Alejo moves closer, his muscles flexing as he goes. “You need to fight like your life depends on it, because the moment you leave, it does, especially since you can’t seem to shift.”

My eyes drop to the ground as shame overwhelms me. He just had to hit the nail on the head, didn’t he? Sighing, I close my eyes as a tear escapes and runs down my face. “I can’t.”

I don’t even have a wolf, and when they find that out, I’ll be of even less use to them…

“You can’t,” Alejo says, angry. “Not even to save your own life.”

Shaking my head, I sniffle, the trembles starting in my shoulders again as a myriad of memories floods through me. Every beating, every harsh, demeaning word ever spoken. “There’s nothing worth saving, and in my experience, the pain is less if you don’t fight back.”

“Maura,” Alejo snaps, his voice rising, making me cower back. “Listen to yourself! You ran, you risked getting caught, yet you refuse to fight to stay alive if someone finds you!”

“I can’t fight the battle you want me to,” I yell back, surprising myself as tears break free and run down my cheeks. “I’m not like you or your pack, Alejo. I run, that’s what I’m good at. All I can do is run and keep running until I’m far enough that he can’t touch me again.”

By the time the last words are out of my mouth, a sob breaks loose, and my chest aches so bad it’s hard to breathe.

“What happens if you can’t run far enough?” Alejo says, his voice the gentlest it’s been yet. “Will you not fight for yourself if that’s your only option?”

“Dude,” Beck snaps, stepping between us, “that’s enough. She’s fucking terrified, and scaring her to death more isn’t going to help.”

Alejo sighs loudly as I try to bring myself back under control, his eyes fixating on mine. “What will you do then, Maura? How will you stay alive?”

***

The hot water soaks my hair and cascades down my body.

After training, or my pathetic attempt at it, Beck told me to come shower and take a moment. It’s obvious I don’t have a chance on my own. Even the hits I landed on Beck won’t deter an attacker, and I certainly don’t stand a chance against a pack of rogues.

Closing my eyes, I lean my hand on the wall in front of me and bow my head. My bright orange-red hair makes a curtain around my face, the water soaking through the strands and running off like a waterfall onto the shower floor. In my mind, all I can see is the lust in Godrick’s eyes every time he’d stare at me while telling anyone who’d listen how he couldn’t wait to have me. Letting out a slow breath, I remind myself that I got out. I ran, and I survived.

All my life, the only thing people ever comment on is how pretty I am. How unique my red hair is, how beautiful it is against my pale skin, how lovely my body is to look at. No one ever sees past that. In a pack where being wolfless should’ve gotten me killed, being beautiful kept me alive.

Rinsing off, I shut down the water and open the shower door, grabbing my towel off the hook. I quickly towel dry my hair as I step onto the mat. Standing straight, I stare at the mirror. I’m just me. But when men like Godrick see me, they see the fullness in my hips and breasts, the way my body curves in that hourglass figure, just a little thicker. Luscious, that’s the word always used.

This is my armor. One that’s saved me more than I care to admit. If beauty was a weapon, I’d have one. I can’t hurt anyone with it, but I can use it to save my own ass. Alejo is right—I can’t fight or shift, and Beth isn’t lying about the feral wolves that Godrick left roaming everywhere. Godrick’s pack was never safe. It’s been forever since I even knew what safety felt like. Until I met Beck and Alejo. For the first time in forever, I feel safe with them.

This is the first time I’ve been in a place where men aren’t trying to bargain for my virginity or sneaking in while I sleep to fondle my chest and rub my ass. I slept next to two Alphas and felt nothing but warmth, safety, and peace. Those two men already protect a girl, an old woman, and a smattering of different-aged men. They added me on and protected me, too. This whole pack is an enigma wrapped in the warped reality of everything I know.

They’re tenacious, that’s for sure.

But a pack without pups is a dead pack. Without an heir to carry a bloodline, everything they have is finite.

My hand comes up to cover my stomach, and I bite my bottom lip. I’m insane for even thinking about it, but I can survive here, and I only have one thing to trade for protection, for my life…

Heirs.