He adored the look of shock on her face as she tried to believe what her ears told her she had just heard him say. “I have so missed that soft, warm, lovely body of yours.”

“But, Astarion, we, you, I-”

“For a long time, I didn’t feel I could enjoy sex again.” He cut her off, and despite how quietly he spoke, she hung on to his every word. A flash of something vulnerable shimmered in his red eyes. She couldn’t tell if that was an act, or genuine vulnerability, but it emanated through his words, his sad smile, and his longing stare. “It was a tool, and I felt disgusted whenever I partook in it, because it was a means to an end. For Cazador…to bring him his next meal…” Venom rose to his tongue for a moment, but then he sighed and pushed it back down. “Or when I seduced you to ensure my continued survival.” Tav’s heart skipped a beat and he felt her hands twitch around his between them. Was this it? Were they talking about ‘it’? Their relationship and how it ended? Right now in the corner of a lively ball?!? How many times had she talked to her own reflection as she thought about what she would say if they ever did properly talk about how things ended? Why couldn’t she find her damn voice?! “It’s true that I no longer needed to seduce you once we reached the city, but…” Astarion cocked his head to one side and saw how completely she was entranced by him. He knew he could shatter her heart completely with one cruel phrase if he wanted to. He could decimate her with rejection, or he could sing sweetly the promise of love eternal. Only, would she believe him this time? She did the first time, of course, but would she believe it the second time? I wouldn’t want to risk her closing off from me if she sensed deception or manipulation. “…I have missed…being intimate with you.” 

“B-but you just said that sex disgusts you.” She started to frown and tried to pull her hands back, so Astarion held her hands tighter. 

“It did, but I have ascended now.” He reassured her with his devil-may-care smirk with a hint of fang, and he brought her hands over to rest on his lap. He rubbed her knuckles with his gloved thumbs and looked at her through his lashes. “For the first time in my entire existence, I have nothing and no one to fear.” Except for you fleeing at first light out of my life. He slowly leaned forward and let his lips brush across her cheek on the way to her ear. “I want to take you to my bed, darling. For the first time in over 200 years, I want to be with someone because I want to. Not because I have to, or because I need to. You are the only one I trust to share that part of me with. The only person I want to share myself with.” He dipped lower and kissed her neck. His eyes glowed, hearing her pulse quickening and feeling it beneath his lips. So close. I can feel her resolve on the verge of crumbling. Give in to me, Tav. One last time, my darling. “This won’t be like in the past. This time it will be real.” 

“It will?” Her voice wobbled, and his eyes widened as he leaned back in shock. Tav was weeping silently as her heart welled with pain and hope. He looked into her teary eyes, and something resonated deep within the chaos in his chest. This powerful, miraculous, and loving woman was wiling to give her battered heart over to him one last time, even if part of her expected it to perish in his care. All because there was a sliver of hope that he might mean it this time. The monster within preened itself at how easy this conquest was. But the victim within resonated with her pain, having been to far deeper depths than her, and felt her pain. “You mean, it will be the real you, not an act to get what you want from me this time? You won’t regret it or push me aside again? Be gone when I wake up? Or expect me to just carry on and be a good pet this time?” There, she said it. Tav couldn’t say no to Astarion. It’s why she was in this mess in the first place, but at least she expressed her fears this time. Because if this was a lie, and he really did use her for whatever reason he thought warranted shredding the last of her sanity through her heart? Tav wouldn’t sneak away to lick her wounds the next morning. She would set his ass on fire, shove him away and run for the hills. 

“Yes.” He threw his hands up into her loose hair and scowled, a second away from kissing her like the starving beast he was. “This time will be real, and it will be forever, darling. All you have to do is say yes.” She whimpered with a chuckle, finding the situation funny. 

“When have I ever said no to you?” Tav shrugged and surrendered, like they both knew she would. “You realise this will mean more than sex to me, right? You know how I…feel about you.” According to Shadowheart, all of Faerûn knew how she felt about the pale elf. “So if you want to be real with me, and be with me, it can’t be for one night.” She exhaled choppily and sniffled, begging him with her eyes not to hurt her again. “Yes, Astarion. Gods, please don’t break me, but yes. If you really mean this, then I-” He kissed her and used his grip in her hair to bring her with him as he leaned back against the window. Her hands fisted at his expensive shirt and she nearly crawled onto his lap, but the sound of ladies giggling very close by spooked Tav. She leaned back, flushed and embarrassed, but Astarion wouldn’t release her hair. 

“This is my fucking palace, and if I want to kiss my consort, I shall.” He snapped his red eyes to the group of ladies who found their moment of intimacy amusing, and wanted to snarl at them to fuck off. Instead, he smirked and licked his lips at Tav. “I’ve had enough of this party. Let’s retire for the evening.” Astarion released her hair and enjoyed how his kiss had her on the verge of falling at his feet already. I will have you on your knees and at my feet more than once tonight, darling. Victory sounded all around him, and Astarion didn’t want to wait another moment to claim that victory. Neither could Tav. She looked around the busy ballroom and realised just how many of the guests were staring and whispering about their intimate moment by the piano. She looked around them and spotted the window behind Astarion. 

“Yeah, let’s retire. Are you still in a playful mood?” She grinned and crawled over his lap to take hold of the window handles behind him. 

“With you? Of course.” He stood and chuckled as Tav pushed open the window and wild-shaped into a raven. She flew out and Astarion didn’t hesitate to pull the curtain away from the wall to hide himself and the window. When one of the guests got the courage to pull the curtain back, they would only see a closed window, and a flutter of bats in the distance. Bats swarming after a raven as they all flew higher up the palace, and into the master bedroom.