Astarion materialised from the shadows once Tav was gone and used two fingers to pull open her bedside drawer. He was detecting her thoughts from the shadows while she was preparing for the party, so he knew her goodbye letter was in here. He plucked it from the drawer with two flingers and proceeded to flip it open. He held it in two hands and allowed his red eyes to scan over what was a surprisingly brief goodbye letter. 

Astarion. 

I will always love you, and I regret nothing. I stayed for as long as I could, but now I need to follow your example and move on. You are free, and free to plan your own future. I’m sure you’ll be running things in the city before long. You don’t need me anymore. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you in person that I’m leaving. Call me a coward, but I need to lick my wounds in private. I honestly hope you find someone one day you can trust with your heart. I have no hard feelings about the fact that I’m not that person, but I hope you believe that you do deserve to be loved. Please let someone behind your walls and love you. 

Yours, always, Tav. 

He read it more times than he would ever admit before curling it up into his fist as he created flames in his palm. His smirk was an angry one as he dusted his hands together to get rid of that garbage. Behind his sadistic grin, two sides of Astarion were reacting to the letter. The first wanted to break everything in reach and howl in pain. The silly little pet thought she could leave him? Him?! After everything he has done for her? For them both? And she claimed to love him in the same breath as wanting to leave and move on? Tav was not a coward. He’d seen her charge into undefeatable odds without hesitation. Yet, he only knew she was planning to slip away because he used his magic to invade her mind. She was planning to simply slip away in the morning light and that letter was supposed to be enough? Telling him she regretted nothing, that she would always love him, but pretty please let someone else love him one day? Who the hells did Tav think she was? Stating that he didn’t need her anymore. 

Yet while the first side of him wanted to silently rage through the halls, extract Tav expertly and suavely from the party, to tell her that she did not have his permission to go anywhere…the second side of him wept. Because she still loved him, and had finally given up on him. Everyone in Astarion’s life has either left him or abused him. He always knew that she would do the same. It’s why, once he manipulated her enough into caring for him and offering him protection, he stopped pretending they were more than an advantageous association. It was a perfect plan, after all. Especially since Tav was so utterly smitten with him from the very first time he locked his crimson eyes on her. She hung on his every word. Her eyes always sought him out whenever he was near. Her mind and body swayed to the tune he played. Astarion had Tav in the palm of his hand and played her like the perfect mark that she was. 

But when he started to have feelings for her, his plan began to backfire; he protected himself and ended their romantic liaison. The whipped little dear still came to heel like a good girl, so all was well. He was free to be with her without being with her. Without the self-loathing and disgust that came from using his body to seduce her, like he had any other mark for the last 200 years. They were companions. Friends. Something Astarion couldn’t remember ever having before meeting Tav. That future he was finally free to plan had Tav right beside him. He should be congratulating himself for predicting this all those months ago. Tav, leaving him. Yet there was no arrogant declaration of victory. Only pain. Loss. And a familiar loneliness that Tav had pushed out of his life. It was more obvious now that she was about to leave, just how much she had filled the void in his cold chest. With the emptiness looming and ready to swallow him whole once more, both sides of Astarion agreed on one course of action. 

Tav cannot leave. 

The side of him that craved power and dominance held a golden leash with Tav’s name on it. She belonged to him, damn it, and that little pet needed to remember her place. He knew what was best for her, and he’d let the hells freeze over before he allowed her to leave him. His vision for Baldur’s gate held two thrones and she would damn well sit in hers as he required. She would be grateful for the pampered life he was offering her, and forget any foolish notion that she could ever be ‘happy’ without him. Astarion was like a God now, and she would be his chosen. Tav would be adored and hated for her position on his arm. Many would covet Tav, simply because Astarion favoured her. And when someone inevitably made the foolish decision to make a move on her, Astarion would rip out their throat, then their heart, and drink from it while looking Tav right in the eye. He’s a monster, and she was his pet. Now, and always. 

The side of him that wept and screamed in pain, fisted at the shirt with grief. He wanted to throw his arms around her. Only Astarion gave a shit about Tav’s wellbeing. He was the one who was always there when she was injured. He was the one who told the world to fuck off and let the poor woman rest when she was exhausted. He was the one who always stalked behind her, so no one else could flank her. When she was afraid, he held her. When she felt the burden of her decisions weighing on her, he cheered her up with some sassy comments to make her smile. And Tav was going to leave and take that smile with her… Her kind eyes and gentle touch. Her adorable laughter and heroic bluster. The vulnerable side of him, the side Cazador had tortured him into hiding behind his flamboyant persona, wanted to throw his arms around Tav and beg her to forgive him. Give him another chance. Let him try again. He’d do better this time. He didn’t know what love was, but he was sure the closest thing a monster like him was able to feel…he did feel, and only for Tav. 

Both sides of Astarion marched forward and merged into one in his mind’s eye. They shared one focus and one goal. Capturing Tav forever, by whatever means necessary.

My options are rather limited. He slipped out of her room and dusted his hands down his rakish attire. Black shoes with a gentleman’s heel, black breeches, a dark red sash around his waist, and a black tunic with pirate ruffles over his chest. A dark red sleeveless jacket hung wide and open from his shoulders with pointed shoulder pads. It billowed like a cloak behind him, and of course, he accessorised himself perfectly. Even with the absence of a mirror, he knew the dark ruby blood drop earrings and matching ruby badges on his shoulders and waist sash would add to his allure. He trusted that his silvery-white hair was suitably windswept, and he set his smirk to stun. I am the Vampire Ascendant. Never again will I have anything taken from me. He pushed open a set of doors to the main ballroom and held up his right hand as he took in the sight of the party. It was well underway, and revelry was in abundance. Drinking and dancing was plentiful, and a moment later, one of his servants placed a glass of red wine in his waiting hand. 

“About time.” He chided the waiter without affording him a glance and sauntered into the party. Of course, he pretended not to be focused on his prey as he engaged in chitchat and circulated the party. Tav was talking to one of the senior guards, and he, a human with a rugged appeal to him, was blushing at the pretty redhead. Of course the ape is flustered. That outfit is a DuPree, and would shame Kings and Queens. She’s the saviour of Baldur’s Gate. And…stunning. The guard stepped closer to Tav and bashfully offered his hand to her, like he was asking her to dance. Astarion tongued at his left fang and excused himself from a conversation with a busty Marquess wanting more than just his attention. But more importantly, Tav is mine, and you just touched her, so you will need to die. He smirked as he finally slipped around a group of red-faced men talking about their fortunes and favourite cigars. “Ah! There you are, darling.” Astarion placed his left hand on the left side of Tav’s waist, and brought his right hand around her to take her hand just before she could place it into the guard’s. “I’ve been looking for you.” 

“Have y-” Tav turned her head with a brow raised at the way he was holding her, when Astarion leaned down and kissed her.