Ki Tae held Ha Yoon tightly. Trembling shoulders, rolling tears. The strong-willed man, the beautiful glittering eyes. Finally. Finally Ha Yoon was in his arms. Ki Tae couldn’t hide the smile on his lips as his heart glowed with ecstasy and delight. Things didn’t go as planned but the outcome was the same. Park Dae Won was gone and now Yu Ha Yoon would be his. With adrenaline coursing through him, his grip around the beautiful man tightened and he rested his cheek against Ha Yoon’s dyed blond hair.

“Shh,” he comforted, “It’s going to be okay. It was an accident. Dae Won slipped and fell. There was nothing we could do.”

He didn’t need to go to prison. He could stay with Ha Yoon. Live with Ha Yoon.

“You don’t have to cry anymore. From now on, you will be loved. You will have everything in the world. You will have the perfect life.”

Soon enough, the sniffles stopped.

Ki Tae helped Ha Yoon to stand and when they made their way down the mountains, he called the police to report their missing friend. The search party arrived and before long, Dae Won’s unbreathing body was found. No indications of attacks or struggles. Evidence of loose footings. A perfect alibi of a hike gone wrong.

Even when the funeral was processed, Cho Ki Tae kept a cold face. No tears, no anger. It took all he had to keep his smile from showing. No, he couldn’t let anyone be suspicious.

Perhaps it was because he was too deep in his own world and imagination, eager to keep walking into the life he had always dreamt… that he never once realized how far Ha Yoon had fallen into the pit of despair for having lost Dae Won. For having killed Dae Won.

Ha Yoon never said a word. Never showed a reaction. Only a blank face as if he couldn’t believe what had just happened to his world, to their world. A world where Dae Won wasn’t there anymore. A world where he had to live without Dae Won. How could he? How could he keep walking like this? Neither his family, the police, or the doctors could wake him from the shock his mind had undergone.

It was only when Ha Yoon broke down into tears at home did Ki Tae realize what had transpired. As though the dam was shattered, the feelings of guilt and loss overflowed and drove him mad. He cried and cried, and refused to leave his room because if Dae Won wouldn’t come knocking on his door, he wouldn’t open up anymore.

No matter how much Ki Tae begged, he couldn’t see Ha Yoon. Only the howls of misery echoed in the darkness, taunting him for what he had done. Ki Tae thought everything would turn out perfect. With Dae Won gone, Ha Yoon should have turned to him. So where did it all go wrong?

He sat with a single door between them. Couldn’t ask what Ha Yoon was so sad about. Couldn’t ask what he should do for Ha Yoon to look at him. Did Ha Yoon love Dae Won so much to the point where he wouldn’t even look at Ki Tae? Were the times they were together, the times they shared their hearts and bodies, meaningless in front of the light called Park Dae Won?

How much must Dae Won take from him?

Even after death?

If Ha Yoon loved Dae Won that much, was it Ki Tae’s mistake for killing the man? Should he have let Dae Won live and the two of them be together? If Ha Yoon was happy with Dae Won, would Ki Tae be happy watching from the sideline? Was it enough for him to simply sit and watch them?

The door creaked open.

“Ha Yoon–”

Tear-stained face. Hazy eyes.

“Ha Yoon, please…”

“Dae Won…” Ha Yoon muttered. “Why isn’t he here?”

“He… he’s gone.”

“No… it can’t be. We were going on a trip, we were going to be together forever. So why isn’t he here now?” Ha Yoon sobbed. “You said so! You said that he would be mine, but–”

“Ha Yoon,” Ki Tae shook him. “Ha Yoon, please look at me. He’s not here anymore, look at me!”

But his words weren’t going through Ha Yoon’s broken mind. Then only, the guilt washed over him. It was his fault. He wanted Dae Won gone to monopolize Ha Yoon, to be the only one in Ha Yoon’s life. But the feeling wasn’t mutual. The only person who could make Ha Yoon happy was Dae Won.

And he’s gone.

Ki Tae pulled Ha Yoon into an embrace. “Sorry. I’m sorry.”

Ha Yoon’s wail broke his heart.

“I wanted you to be happy but I only ended up hurting you. It’s my fault. Everything I did, it only hurt you, made you cry.” Ki Tae caressed the side of Ha Yoon’s face and wiped the tears away. “I’m sorry. I’ll disappear and if you can… if you can ever forget about all of these, please, my last wish, please, be happy.”