Micah

His eyes bore into mine. They were so stunning that they took my breath away. I held my breath, almost as if this were my first time actually giving someone a kiss that I cared about. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks, and I looked down at the table in embarrassment. His breathing had gotten heavy, and I knew I probably had awakened something within Alistair. He held his chopsticks tightly, almost as if trying to keep his composure. 

He cleared his throat and averted his gaze from mine. “You’re welcome,” Alistair responded, taking some of his food to stop himself from saying something else. 

We sat in silence.

When we both finished dinner, I cleaned up our mess, despite Alistair’s demands for me to stop. It was the least I could do after today. I needed to keep my hands busy. Otherwise, I would end up submitting to my omega and getting down on my knees to worship him with my mouth around his cock. 

I bet he had an impressive dick in those pants, just waiting for someone to lick it from base to tip and suck the soul out of it. A bead of sweat dripped down my forehead at the thought. My mouth was dry, almost as if I wanted no needed to let him fuck my mouth. I clenched my hand around the empty paper container, crumpling it in my hand at the thought.  

I desperately wanted him to come behind me, wrap one of his hands around my neck, and force me to submit to him. Instead, he told me he was going to go to bed. The air surrounding the both of us felt awkward, and I wanted him to give me a kiss on the lips and tell me that everything would be okay. 

But I knew. I knew I had probably ruined it for myself. He didn’t step out of bounds once when he flirted with me, and I was so rude to him otherwise. My pride was the only thing that held me back from him. I guess that first time I saw him, in the street, running home. I thought he was like the rest of the alphas I had encountered. They only wanted one thing, to sleep with me and discard me like every other alpha. I didn’t know if that was a fact or not, but would he have accepted me into his house if all he wanted was some ass? 

Would I even let him fuck me? Even if he did offer me a stupid amount of money to do so? I think I would have been turned off at the idea of him offering money to sleep with me. Because, secretly, I didn’t want to be a notch in his bedpost. Maybe I wanted to be so much more to him, and my way of internally fighting with myself was to be an asshole to him. 

I lay in my bed, looking up at the high ceiling, never realizing I would end up being here. I don’t think I could have prepared myself for what happened to me in one day. If I had been told two weeks ago that I would be under the same roof as Alistair Salvator, I would have probably laughed at them. 

The following week, it was as if Alistair were deliberately trying to ignore me. I could admit it hurt a little, knowing he was trying to leave me alone. Possibly to give me time to adjust to living in his space.

When I got back to work at the bar, everything was different. Alpha’s that would typically hit on me paid me no mind other than to order drinks or food, and they’d also pay their bills and leave. After the first few days, I wondered if I had done something. Or if my scent was low. I wasn’t mad, but I wasn’t too happy about it either because it seemed that the tips I was taking in were less than usual.

Xari walked up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Are you doing okay?” He asked. 

“Just getting fewer tips than usual,” I replied, sitting my rag down on the counter. “I don’t know why. I don’t think I’m acting any differently.” I shrugged, going back to cleaning so I could go home. 

“Maybe it’s because you smell like an alpha.” He said, grabbing one of the liquor bottles and placing them on the shelf behind me. 

“I do?” I furrowed my brows, tucking my head to smell my shoulder. “I don’t think I do?” 

“Oh, trust me, you do. It has been noticeable since the day you started working again. It’s almost as if an alpha marked you.” He told me. 

I frowned. Was I marked and didn’t know about it? I hadn’t noticed any markings on my body or felt any different. I didn’t even feel satisfied after my heat. So I knew no one took advantage of me while I was in heat. 

“Do you think it’s because I live with an alpha?” I asked. 

Xari whipped his head around and looked me in the eyes. “Since when were you with an alpha?” He asked. 

“Well,” I bit down on my lip in thought. I guess I had left out the minor detail of moving in with Alistair when I got back to work. I didn’t want to confess that I couldn’t make it in the world without the help of an alpha. “Alistair, let me stay with him,” I said quietly. “My landlord had kicked me out and moved someone in while I was in heat.” 

“That’s not even legal. He has to file an eviction notice and stuff.” Xari furrowed his brows. 

“Yeah, if I had a legal rental agreement, he would have to follow the legal route to evict me. But he didn’t have to because I was renting that apartment without one.” I said quickly. The words almost ran together, and he probably couldn’t tell half of what I had said. 

“You were paying under the table?” He asked. “Micah.” Xari shook his head, scolding me. 

“Look, I don’t need the ninth-degree Xari. You don’t know how it is to be an omega who had to do everything for themselves since they were in their teens.” I swallowed back the tears that had been forming. 

“I didn’t think you’d actually go and live with Alistair, though. He’s trouble, Micah. I don’t know what kinda trouble, but I do know he’s not all squeaky clean.” Xari leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, raising his brow. “I know I may have done business with him real-estate-wise. But it doesn’t mean I trust him as far as I can throw him.” 

I frowned. “What do you mean by that?” I asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Well, when you talked with him, it looked like you would rather die than be in the same room with him. Let alone the same living space. I thought you could sense it or something.” Xari shook his head. 

“Well, he’s been nothing but respectful toward me, given me space, and offered a good amount for me to pay rent. The only thing I’ve done with him is kissed him.” I shrugged. 

“Well, I’ll support you living with him. But know that you can come to me if you need to get away. You know my wife will let you live with us.” I nodded my head and went back to cleaning the place before we headed home. 

The only thoughts that kept running through my head were what vibe did Alistair really give Xari. Did Sherry also feel the same way about him? Did I have some type of rose-tinted glasses on when I looked at him that made me think nothing bad about him? 

I didn’t think I did… 

I mean, I did let my guard down for a few things, but it didn’t mean that I was entirely letting my walls down for him. A part of me wanted to demolish the walls for him and wanted to be vulnerable with him. 

But now, I worried that he didn’t even think of me like that, as a lover. That I was nothing but a little brother to him or something of the sort. Maybe a best friend?

And that thought process was deemed to be correct when I got home. I could hear sounds, loud sounds coming from Alistair’s room. That could have meant only one thing was happening. For some reason, it hurt to think that he was intimate with someone. After I did show him a little bit of vulnerability and I gave him a kiss. A gentle, thoughtful kiss… 

A kiss that hadn’t led to sex right afterward. Something I genuinely wanted and felt. Something I didn’t feel obligated to get something in return in the form of cash. 

I sighed, trying hard to keep my heart from leaping into my throat and leading to me crying my eyes out. I kicked my shoes off, trying to block out the sounds of the obnoxiously loud omega and get to my room so I could sleep. 

Someone as attractive as Alistair couldn’t stay stagnant for too long without getting his rocks off. 

I waited too long. 

And it was my fault.