Several days have passed since then. At the hospital, Ha Yoon leaves his desk for the cafeteria and the moment he sees Ki Tae, a smile flashes on his lips.
“It’s been a while since I sat with a friend for lunch!” Ha Yoon exclaims.
“What about your work colleagues?”
“There’s only three of us at the reception and we need to rotate our break times to make sure the desk is always manned. Besides, it’s different. They’re good people, but you and I have been together since way back when.”
“I get that. I don’t remember a time when we’re not together.” Ki Tae smiles, “Always together. Always loved you.”
Ha Yoon glances up at Ki Tae and the sudden realisation of the words sends heat into his cheeks again. To say he doesn’t know of Ki Tae’s feelings is a lie. The signs have always been there. But Ha Yoon chooses to look away and give his heart to Dae Won.
“You’re my first love. For a long time now. No matter what we’re doing, hanging out or getting into fights, regardless of your gender identity or expression, my eyes are always drawn to you. You know that I will drop anything to run to your side. Even if I have to break my body or break the world.”
Ki Tae’s voice is calm, reassuring. A tone that has the abilities to draw Ha Yoon’s attention in. Surrounded by the noise of the busy hospital, Ha Yoon can only lock eyes with Ki Tae and in that moment, only the two of them exist. When Ki Tae reaches out and places his hand on Ha Yoon’s, the heat from his cheeks quickly spreads to the rest of his body and he squeezes his thighs together at the tingling sensation in his lower parts.
“I…” Ha Yoon begins, “Look, Ki Tae. You’re still precious to me, but I… I’m with Dae Won now.”
Ki Tae’s hand remains cold and without missing a beat, he says, “Even if he treats you just as a friend?”
Just as a friend?
“What–” Ha Yoon’s breath hitches. Yes, they started off as friends and Ha Yoon had pined over Dae Won for so long. Many years. And now they’re living together…
As what?
As friends?
Has Dae Won ever said otherwise?
A chill runs down his spine and Ha yoon finds it hard to breathe. His body stiffens and he can’t hear the noises around him anymore. The surroundings fall into a curtain of darkness, only with the two of them in the center.
No.
Ki Tae must be wrong. Dae Won returns Ha Yoon’s feelings. They’ve moved in together. Childhood friends turned lovers, much like any classic romance story. So there’s no way Dae Won sees him just as a friend. When Ha Yoon came out to them about his gender identity, Dae Won…
What did Dae Won say?
“Ha Yoon, I know what you’re thinking. That I’m not making sense, that I’m just spouting bullshit because I have feelings for you. But you’re forgetting something important about him and I’m honestly… shocked at how things have turned out now. I should have been the one next to you. I shouldn’t have let you go.”
Ha Yoon can’t take his eyes away from Ki Tae. Cold sweat continues to run down the back of his neck as he struggles to understand what Ki Tae said.
“But if you choose me, I will treat you like royalty, like the most extraordinary being in the world, like the most special person to me.” Ki Tae stands up and places a concert ticket on the table. “I have answers to your questions. But only if you want to know them.”
Ha Yoon glances at the ticket, then back at Ki Tae.
“It’s not that you don’t remember what happened. You simply…” Ki Tae brushes a hand on Ha Yoon’s shoulder, “don’t want to remember.”
Once Ki Tae leaves, Ha Yoon finds himself sitting alone at the cafeteria table. He picks up the concert ticket as though it’s a one-way ticket to his execution.
Something I don’t… want to remember?
What does Ki Tae mean? What is Ha Yoon forgetting?
A sense of dread rests on his shoulders and he tries to think back on what they were like in high school. A group of delinquents who wrecked havoc in the streets, going up against any form of authorities simply to satisfy their teenage desires. They’d done bad things, never had been good angels. So what is the important thing that Ha Yoon allegedly chooses to forget?
Eventually, he regains his senses and returns to work but throughout the entire day, he cannot push away the anxiety gnawing at the back of his mind. It’s the same feeling he had when he first came out to Ki Tae and Dae Won.
He remembers that day as though it was yesterday.
A sunny afternoon at the back of the school.
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